Losing someone you thought was a good friend

Post Reply New Topic

It seems like that I cannot get signals or a hint that I was annoying a friend of mine over the last week. Friday night she basically told me to leave her alone and was rude about it. I responded with I didn't know I was bothering you. I have been in major depression ever since and I don't have anyone to turn to or talk to about it.

Have you asked her what the problem was? You could say, "I'm sorry I upset you, but I'm not sure what exactly it was that I did. Can we talk about it?"

You may not have lost a friend at all, it might just be a misunderstanding, but you'll never know if you don't ask.

Sometimes it is good to take a bit of distance. Wait a week and then contact her. If it was a temporary thing it could have blown over.
If it is deeper, then prepare for a good talk.

She had been acting different all week, but Friday she finally came out and said she didn't wanna talk to me anymore. She has unfriended me and blocked me on facebook too. I don't wanna make her mad anymore but saying anything to her I just don't know.

I would suggest to not chase after her, or try to get her back, since she has obviously sent signals that she doesn't want to talk. I suggest just leave her alone. You may have been making her uncomfortable to the point where she doesn't want anything to do with you.

Perhaps she wasn't worth the friendship anyway.

I guess I would ask her exactly what the problem was. Who knows? Maybe the problem was HER?

I'm sure you won't experience too much difficulty making new friends. Honestly, you have to move on, and just think of the past friendship as a learning experience.

I wouldn't let it depress you, if I were you I'd find something to occupy your time. If they told you to leave them alone give them a week maybe two, time to cool off. Try contacting them about their day or whatever just small talk, go a few days or weeks. If things seem to be calmer then ask if you can have a conversation with them maybe ask what it was you did that bothered them or how best to avoid bothering them so much they feel the need to get upset with you. Maybe if they know you are aspie (if you are) then try suggesting some clear means of communication you CAN see that way if they'd like you to go or to be by themselves they can let you know without having to let their "hints" try to do the talking. It can make things easier on everyone if there is a clear polite message you can understand.

me too. I lost a friend I care about because I was being rude and insensitive but was too blind to recognize what I was doing. Still painful, but my own doing.

That's what she said I was being annoying to her and I didn't know I was and she knows that I don't pick up on signals at all I told her that, but she still treated me ugly even after I was so nice to her and even made a few things she likes for her and this is how I get treated.

This sort of thing has happened to me a few times in my life (luckily not any time recently), and it is always devastating to me when it does. When I was much younger and much worse off socially, I used to hang out with a group of people before school that I thought were my friends. I used to listen to their conversations, but I hardly contributed myself. One day, after a few months, one of them came up to me and said "You know, you can stand near other people...you don't always have to stand near where we are". It dawned on me then just how bad my social skills at the time were, and just how little they cared for me, it was pretty rough.

That happened to me recently. And what hurt the most was that on numerous occasions, I was considered "family" to my now ex-friend. Eventually I unfriended him on fb because he basically avoided me like a plague for nearly 2 months and didn't reply to my texts or voicemails all due to a misunderstanding that he didn't even want hear my side of. I didn't want to do it but when he didn't even take the time to wish my happy birthday on fb, that was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. He in returned blocked me, and that's funny because it's not like I harassed him by any means. It's just a real sh***y way to find out who your real friends are.

I wish I was like most NT's and be able to make friends in a whim. My closest friend now lives in TN and she's one of the few people that accepts me for me and oversees my aspie flaws. So I feel for those who loses "friends" over a simple misunderstanding.

It's been two months now since this happened to me and she has talked to me again but its not the same as before and now she has a significant other we talk even less.

I know what you are going through. I was rejected by someone earlier this year after they had appeared to invite me over to their place for Christmas dinner and telling that they loved me like a sister. We also both discussed that I did not need to worry about getting them presents since I have been seeking employment. That was a joke.

Long story short.

It all started when I was basically invited over to their place for Christmas dinner where they got me gifts while telling me that I did not need to get them anything. Then they changed their mind about the present thing the day after Christmas which was the start of the down fall. Then when I had them over on New Year's was when they were ill mannered and were too big for one's britches. They did not even care either which was childish and embarrassing that someone could be so so selfish.

I knew right there that I would lose them and it disturbed me greatly but they tried to pretend like things were fine when we went out for tea a few weeks later. Instead it was all about their spouse feeling out of place. Then after that I stopped getting calls or private Facebook messages. I tried to text but got not such response. So I wrote a letter and asked if they were mad or if they were even interested in me.

I got a response that there had been a conflict between us for a long time and that we were not a good fit due to
1. Different personalities, interests
2. We would bring out the negative in each other
They said that they were very sad about having to do this because they think I am a good person but not good for them. I thought "The nerve of them inviting me over for the holidays like that and then turning around and to pull a 180? How dare they." They did not even give me a real reason why they decided to end things.

It also goes to show you too that these types of people are not much of friends to begin with in the first place.

That is kinda of how I quit talking to my friend. I used to go see her regularly like once every week or two and we texted like every day. We have so much in common and she recognized that as well. Suddenly in the middle of June everything changed and I have been depressed about it ever since. The couple of times we have talked its been great, but its not like it was when it was every day.

Yes she did and so did her family. I had been so alone before I started talking to them and then I felt like a part of something and that someone actually cared. I still talk to them but its not like it used to be.