Becoming more friendly towards strangers

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I've found recently that when new folk enter a social situation with me or with me and a known group, my guard based on them not initially appearing like perfect human beings gets foiled when, after some back and forth, they're actually not completely ghastly and usually have at least one aspect to them that makes my contact with them pleasurable. However I will often keep physical distance from them and glance over at them occasionally as if they're a curious bystander in a crowded public place until I know the water's safe, and can come round with the confidence to communicate with them. But with others in the group holding them closely socially, or observing others embrace strangers quickly with a friendly demeanour, something I do admire, I fear I may even come off as cold, but I do know that I would make allies and even friends quicker if I let down the right parts of my guard for them earlier.

Like most of us here, making friends for me is something that takes multiple meetings and work. I like it that way as I feel there are a lot of friends out there I could potentially become close to given increased exposure to them. But I'd also like to like strangers, and would like strangers to like me back, more often.

Those who I see take to strangers more quickly tend to be the same people I have a lot of admiration for, and those whose personalities inspire me. Cynically you could say that I'm going to be taken advantage of in this way, but I increasingly learn to deflect that and certainly have half the idea if someone on the street is aiming to harm me.

Are there any special tips for being more warm towards strangers (being rather than merely appearing), and making basic connections to new people quickly?

Learning to enjoy shallow socialization? Since that's what usually happens between people who've just met.

I stared at this so long, trying to decipher what it means. Then I realized there is probably some sarcasm in there.

I could have made that post read better, but I'm not being sarcastic, and even if the conversation's shallow I still think it'd be a good thing to engage in.

Oh sorry wavecannon, I didn't mean you, I meant what starkid wrote didn't make sense to me. You were very clear in your post.

I wasn't being sarcastic. I meant that if one enjoys what typically occurs between new acquaintances, the enjoyment might cause one to be warmer towards them, and what typically occurs is that they talk about relatively trifling stuff.

Of course, I was lazy and sort of ignored the possibility that the OP already enjoys that sort of interaction.

Pay these mortals and their trivialities no mind, dear misanthrope. The Singularity draws near!

It's a weird one. I do engage in small talk even though I don't particularly enjoy it, although I almost never reciprocate "how are you?" as normally I really don't care for the answer, even though I'm fed up of telling people I'm an almost-finished physics student who's spunking his summer on a resit whose passing will get me a degree, even though all those initial steps are tedious like just having to tie another shoelace... But if it means getting the better sides of my personality out early and making friends a little quicker and being more likable I don't think it'd compromise my personality.

I guess a lot of it is confidence, being alright with the same old questions and learning to ask one or two of them back.

I have tried to learn how to enjoy "shallow socialization" my whole life. I am 36 years old. I still hate it. Most shallow socialization is ret*d. My personal opinion.

Shallow socialization sucks the life out of me it seems. If I do it too often I end up totally exhausted. I have decided to skip it whenever it is possible...

I need substance in my social interactions. Substance that has some important meaning to me.