I don't have much time to see friends any more

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I am NOT complaining at all about having a boyfriend. It's one of the best things that has happened to me, and I would not want to give him up for anything and I don't miss single life at all. But I have two or three decent friends who I haven't had much time to see in the past 4 months that I have been in a relationship. The week-ends are the only time I get to be with him, and I sleep at his over the week-end. He lives 25 miles away from my house, so it's not like I can just pop home. We usually spend at least a Sunday together.

Some people argue that I only do 3 days a week at work, but even so, I still don't seem to have a lot of time. I still live at home with my parents, but I want to learn to be independant, so Tuesdays I like to have time to do shopping and do some other bits, and I also go to see my grandmother (she has Alzheimer's and I am very close to her). So I am usually busy on a Tuesday. At the week-ends obviously I am with my boyfriend because it is my only chance I get to see him, as he works full time. I have Thursdays off as well but I also like to fit in some time to myself too. Also I get very tired a lot so I like to get enough sleep, and I don't like being out at night.

My friends live about 9 miles away, on a bus route. I have phoned them a few times, and I've been promising that I will see them, but the weeks are going by so quickly and I just don't seem to have a lot of time, and I feel bad. It was one of my friend's birthday two weeks ago and I still have her present sitting in my bedroom waiting to be given to her. I'll have to squeeze my friends in on a Saturday morning, although it is still a bit of a rush. How do people fit all these things in when they work full time? Shopping, friends, family, work, housecleaning, appointments, free time? And even having kids on top of that. Just the thought of all that gives me a headache!! !

From my observations of the NT creatures, generally the 'My Time' is also thought of as 'Friend-Time' so you could try squeezing them in then.

I think this is one of those situations where you really can't be spontaneous about meeting up with friends. You need to plan a time on the calendar and then keep the appointment.

Maybe you could spend a Saturday with your friends and go to your boyfriend's house later than usual. You won't do this every week, but even once a month might satisfy your friends and you. Your boyfriend should be willing to give up a little time with you periodically so that you can keep in touch with your friends. You might also find that giving up "me time" once a month is worth it in order to keep in touch with friends.

Talking on the phone or texting/chatting online will also help you keep connected with your friends even when you can't see them very often.

This is a dilemma of adult life. Even NTs do not have a lot of time for friends *all the time* or even every week. They make plans ahead of time, and those times with friends become very special.