How is eye contact used outside of conversation?

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c700
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24 Jul 2015, 11:20 am

I never use eye contact outside of conversation. Is eye contact used outside of conversation? If so, how?



Lars_A
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24 Jul 2015, 8:31 pm

Posting here to get notified of further replies, I'd be interested in this kind of information as well.



nurseangela
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24 Jul 2015, 9:23 pm

Eye contact is used to flirt with someone across a room.

One thing I don't do is make eye contact at a person in the car next to me in traffic. Once you make eye contact with a stranger then things get personal - eye contact is like an invitation.

I've used eye contact to let someone know that I'm watching them do whatever it is they are doing and what they're doing better be what they're supposed to be doing.

I've used eye contact as a way to tell someone to come to me or to look at something specific in the room.

I've rolled my eyes to show disgust (I guess is the word).


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Lucas_NYC
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24 Jul 2015, 9:28 pm

I agree with two major points from nurseangela:

flirting/gauging interest -> My favorite way to gauge interest when I'm out is by the eyes, you can usually get tells about their comfort level and reaction to you. Even useful if you don't want to make the approach, they 'may' eventually just approach you.

directing attention -> When with close friends, I sometimes use my eyes (rather than words) to draw attention to something. I feel like part of this is me not really wanting to speak, but also so i don't influence their opinion to get more natural feedback



Fnord
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24 Jul 2015, 9:31 pm

Eye contact is a silent form of communication. Just look at all of the "smilies" we can use within our posts!

For example, I can let my wife know that it's time for us to leave a party by making eye contact, glancing toward the door, looking back at her, and raising one eyebrow.

Of course, it doesn't always work ... :wink:



BigSnoopy126
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28 Jul 2015, 1:09 pm

I look at people when talking, but partly becasue I'm also legally blind, I really have never figured out how to use it, but I know it's used for the reasons above. I developed a very good eye roll - though I'd never used it before - when I became an attorney specifically for use with clients who did or said dumb things in civil cases. I was nice and never used it on the opposition, but I found it a good way to show how maddening one in particular was. (The use of such nonverbal cues may have been why I felt such overload and eventually dropped any and all trial work.)

It is also a good way to show anger. When I was in my early 20s, my cousin, who was 6-7 at the time, taught me how to do an angry glare when I asked him, since I'd seen it in the funnies but never could figure out how to do it.

Which shows how accepting kids are at times - he didn't seem to find it odd at all that I hadn't developed that on my own.



dobyfm
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02 Aug 2015, 6:11 pm

I use eye contact when I stare at a guy I like from across the room. Yet when I finally talk to them I make little to no eye contact out of nervousness and I experience a feeling of severe awkwardness.



Thorman
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03 Aug 2015, 12:38 am

Many people looks briefly at others to see if it is someone they know. I do that often. Very brief eye contact.

I am also very paranoid. So I look other people in the eye more often then normal. I can then tell if they are angry or upset or weird hehe. Unfortunately I am very paranoid and I need to constantly scan the surrounding area for people.
I just look very briefly though, into their eyes. The eyes are the gateways into the soul. Literally.



AutisticGuy1981
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05 Aug 2015, 2:23 pm

I wish I knew..

I was in mcdonalds at 2 am the other day and the lady who served me glanced at me which I saw out the corner of my eye then she did it again so I looked back at her.
she looked away and I just felt awkward lol


I suspect my problem is I'm so tall that I likely intimidate people and don't seem approachable.