Vlog about NT's not taking you seriously

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Summer_Twilight
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11 Apr 2016, 4:16 pm

Hi:
I have a series of vlogs on youtube and I happened to do one on people outside of the autism community who have the tendency not to take us seriously. I share a few experiences about that any my video.

https://youtu.be/iVv8yNQAqS0

Can anyone else relate?



slw1990
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11 Apr 2016, 11:57 pm

I also have that problem with people treating me like I'm not all there, like when they give me extra help with things. I mean, I don't really mind it if I actually need it, but some would do it even when I wouldn't really need help and would get a little frustrating. There's also some people who seen to be extra careful not to swear or talk about adult things in front of me. Maybe some of them mean well, but it's really patronizing.

There's also some people who don't seem to really listen to me when I explain things to them because if I had a problem and explained to them what I had already tried and even though they would acknowledge me they would do the same thing like they weren't taking what I said into consideration. Then there's some people that would cut me off when I would explain something to them. It's frustrating.



Aristophanes
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12 Apr 2016, 12:11 am

slw1990 wrote:
I also have that problem with people treating me like I'm not all there, like when they give me extra help with things. I mean, I don't really mind it if I actually need it, but some would do it even when I wouldn't really need help and would get a little frustrating. There's also some people who seen to be extra careful not to swear or talk about adult things in front of me. Maybe some of them mean well, but it's really patronizing.

To be honest, I think you look really young for your age and that's half the problem here. You're 25, but visually you look more like 19-20, so sub-consciously people are treating you like you're 19-20 even though you're more mature than that. It sucks now, but as you get older you'll appreciate people thinking you're younger than you actually are. :D

Edit: after watching the video, I would say the same about you Summer-- I think you look younger than your age as well and that may be some of the issue with people treating you like you're a child.



slw1990
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12 Apr 2016, 12:20 am

Aristophanes wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I also have that problem with people treating me like I'm not all there, like when they give me extra help with things. I mean, I don't really mind it if I actually need it, but some would do it even when I wouldn't really need help and would get a little frustrating. There's also some people who seen to be extra careful not to swear or talk about adult things in front of me. Maybe some of them mean well, but it's really patronizing.

To be honest, I think you look really young for your age and that's half the problem here. You're 25, but visually you look more like 19-20, so sub-consciously people are treating you like you're 19-20 even though you're more mature than that. It sucks now, but as you get older you'll appreciate people thinking you're younger than you actually are. :D


I don't think even someone who's 19-20 normally gets treated that way though, at least I don't notice it. I didn't really know there was much of a difference between how a 20 and 25 year old look.



mikeman7918
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12 Apr 2016, 1:29 am

I would probably be mistaken for being younger then I am if it weren't for my height (I'm rather tall), and I definitely do act younger then my age sometimes.

I don't tell many people that I'm autistic, and when I do I make sure they already know me to the point that their view of me wouldn't change too much upon knowing it. Sometimes though people find out in some way or I let it slip, and when that happens I have been talked down to and treated as if I were much younger then I am before. It is definitely very annoying.


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Yigeren
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12 Apr 2016, 2:04 am

Sorry, I tried watching the video. It seems like you are interesting and have good things to say, but I couldn't filter out the background music. My brain was focusing on it and I couldn't understand a lot of what you were saying. I have some problems with processing and understanding speech when I am distracted and also filtering out other sounds.

I will say that people often treat me like a child and don't take me seriously. One recent event perfectly illustrated this. It really pissed me off, and I'm still angry. I'm very intelligent, think things through, and am not crazy. Nor am I even close to being a child anymore.



slenkar
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12 Apr 2016, 10:32 am

The comment about lotr -yeah that was hypocritical of them because if it happened to them they would expect to be heard and listened to.



accountinglad
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12 Apr 2016, 1:08 pm

Good luck with the vlogs



Lockeye
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12 Apr 2016, 5:35 pm

I experienced a dramatic shift when I started being open about being an autistic. I was also heavily patronized by doctors and therapists, and new ones *only* saw autism, and did not treat me like a human being like others in the past did before my official diagnosis. It shocks anyone I tell that I also have a masters degree in clinical psychology, and I'm still talked 'down to' as though I'm more of a child.

Society has a lot of growing up to do.


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Summer_Twilight
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12 Apr 2016, 8:39 pm

slenkar wrote:
The comment about lotr -yeah that was hypocritical of them because if it happened to them they would expect to be heard and listened to.


I was very angry and hurt when they did that because I felt disrespected. None the less, they showed me their true colors one week later when they job got put to the test. It was only then how nasty and childish they could be if they didn't get their way. They abandoned me as a result which was a good thing because not only were they a fake but I had outgrown their support anyhow.



Yigeren
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12 Apr 2016, 10:58 pm

Lockeye wrote:
I experienced a dramatic shift when I started being open about being an autistic. I was also heavily patronized by doctors and therapists, and new ones *only* saw autism, and did not treat me like a human being like others in the past did before my official diagnosis. It shocks anyone I tell that I also have a masters degree in clinical psychology, and I'm still talked 'down to' as though I'm more of a child.

Society has a lot of growing up to do.


That's really ridiculous. Nothing about the way you are treated should have changed, besides maybe more understanding of your limitations. And sometimes medical decisions may be a bit different. It's not as if autistic people are stupid or mentally ill.

In my case, I'm already treated in this manner by many, if not most, people. I look young for my age. I act younger than my age in some ways, mostly because I am socially awkward, not because I'm immature. I think that my inability to make typical eye contact, and the manner in which I speak give people the impression that I'm either stupid, or mentally unbalanced. Once people talk to me for long enough, they seem surprised by my intelligence and the amount of knowledge I possess.

Being poor and relatively uneducated (only an associate's degree, so far) compared to people my age doesn't help, either. The assumption is usually made that I must be stupid, and know very little. It's extremely irritating. I expect that telling doctors I have autism won't make much difference in the way in which I'm treated.



Summer_Twilight
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13 Apr 2016, 7:58 am

In my vlog I talk about standing up for myself when people give me that patronizing sarcasm where they speak respond by acting like they are interested before putting the word "Huh" into their sentence.

I told one person "You really like talking down to people huh?" They did not like it and were pretty embarrassed when I said that.



slenkar
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13 Apr 2016, 11:02 am

The one who said "oh you're hoping to get famous huh?"

I have no idea if they were being mean, or just thoughtless or even joking.

If you get people saying negative things to you often then you run into the danger of assuming everything is negative that sounds a bit off.
You could have been right,but I dunno.



Summer_Twilight
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15 Apr 2016, 9:14 pm

Slenkar,

1. I was using that as an example to a response
2. Let's say I said that I wanted to mention to someone that I want my vlogs to get going.

Then they respond with the comment with a very giggly and patronizing tone.

Also I used that as an example because I couldn't come up with a better one.



green0star
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19 Apr 2016, 7:50 am

I don't know to say people under-estimate me or over-estimate me because if I say that I'm on the spectrum first they kinda look at me doing a double take kinda thing. Almost like O________O and then say something like "uhh wow that's surprising" or "you don't act like you have it" and then I say "well what do you think people on the spectrum 'act' like then???" And at that point they are confronted with their own intellectually inferior thoughts. I don't get it, do people literally think we're all drooling moronic zombies or what???



mikeman7918
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19 Apr 2016, 10:04 am

green0star wrote:
I don't get it, do people literally think we're all drooling moronic zombies or what???

Well, there are a lot of people who use "autistic" interchangeably with "retarded" as an insult, and most people don't know much about what autism really is which is why so many people go undiagnosed for so long.


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