Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

CoffeeBeans
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 60

20 Mar 2017, 9:03 pm

I'm someone who avoids a lot of day to day social contact, yet posts on FB (Facebook) several times everyday. I find it easier for lots of reasons.

This week some "friends" have been making fun of the things I post. It's not the first time I've been criticised for posting personal things on my FB.

Thing is, I do it because then I'm not directly burdening anyone, so whoever feels able to respond can - I haven't got to judge who I could approach one-to-one about each daily going on.

I've had a LOT going on lately, including months of illness that still hasn't stopped. I've been taken the p*** out of for this, as though I'm just complaining or exagerrating something.

So tonight I deleted my FB account as I feel fed up of being judged and ridiculed. And it'd be nice to spent less time worrying about social stuff and more time on my hobbies again anyway.

But without it, I only have ONE friend who I speak to regularly offline! Nearly all of my social life is online.

I'm unsure what to do everytime I take a break now too, as my routine is to check FB each time I'm bored or have a cigarette etc. I'm not good with change.

As a plan B I wondered about setting up a new account with just my favourite people on, but I do wonder of total abstinence might actually be best.

Any advice or thoughts?



solo
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 120
Location: Cleveland

21 Mar 2017, 1:22 am

If you absolutely have to have an account, just delete the "friends" that you don't like. This is one part of your life where you hold the power. But maybe try no Facebook for 1 month and see if it is something that you must have. If so, you can build it into a "happy" place and just let people that accept you in. I may not be the best at advice regarding Facebook because I have no account and have no interest in dealing with everyone trying to one up each other, or knowing what everyone ate for lunch at what time. True people know where to find me and how to get ahold of me if they want to do something. I'm your age, but born in the wrong generation and see no benefit to it. Plus having only aquaintences and no true friends that I can be my true self with helps with me not caring :D



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,017
Location: Maidstone, UK

23 Mar 2017, 5:50 am

I've had the same issue with Facebook. I used to post nearly everything that came to mind, but it became a habit more than anything. Friends, family and even colleagues have told me not to post too much personal stuff. I can see their point to an extent.
I have forced myself to tone down the amount of updates I post, as I have a feeling that I posted so much gloom about myself, that friends have unfollowed me (but stayed friends), which means I got quite unpopular on Facebook (although didn't affect my relationships with them offline).

I use WP to post my most deepest thoughts and feelings, which is better because it's anonymous and I can feel free to talk about Asperger's. I don't really talk about it to people I know.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Caesar
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2014
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 415
Location: Netherlands

23 Mar 2017, 7:35 pm

Instead of deleting your profile you should delete the friends that criticize your profile, they are not the boss of you.
You get to decide what you post on your profile, not them :)



CoffeeBeans
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 60

23 Mar 2017, 8:12 pm

Caesar wrote:
Instead of deleting your profile you should delete the friends that criticize your profile, they are not the boss of you.
You get to decide what you post on your profile, not them :)


Ha ha I like that.

I'm leaving it off for now but when I reactivate a big clear out is definitely in order. I've got upsetting stuff going on atm that I can't really talk about on there, yet it's my go to outlet for frustration usually. So prob best keep it off and try and cope alone for a bit. I've been reading a lot this week to try and cope with the other stuff.



Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,964
Location: California,USA

25 Mar 2017, 6:58 pm

Deleting your friends is good.

Does anyone want to be my Facebook friend?


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


ZachGoodwin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,065

25 Mar 2017, 9:36 pm

I deleted my Facebook, and really did not understand the platform that much, and if they're only wanting to connect on Facebook, they're not really your friends.



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 42,314
Location: Houston, Texas

26 Mar 2017, 12:23 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
Deleting your friends is good.

Does anyone want to be my Facebook friend?


Sure


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 42,314
Location: Houston, Texas

26 Mar 2017, 1:19 am

https://www.facebook.com/tim.boyd.5203

My page ^^^


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


Caesar
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2014
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 415
Location: Netherlands

08 Apr 2017, 5:18 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
Deleting your friends is good.

Does anyone want to be my Facebook friend?


Sure =)



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,525
Location: Missouri

08 Apr 2017, 7:10 pm

More about things other than autism but I think is related and worth reading.

"Inside the Mind of a Chronically Ill Person Debating If They Should Post on Facebook"
https://themighty.com/2017/01/facebook- ... ally-sick/

"28 Unexpected Consequences of Posting About Your Illness on Facebook"
https://themighty.com/2017/03/facebook- ... eing-sick/

I stopped Facebook after 7 years in 2015, well, actually, they stopped me.
Between the below and a couple other things Facebook itself did to me I am not willing to trust Facebook ever again - that's not about people on Facebook it is about Facebook itself.
Read the two-thousand plus angry comments here and you'll get the picture;
https://www.facebook.com/notes/facebook ... 333195766/


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,964
Location: California,USA

08 Apr 2017, 10:08 pm

Caesar wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Deleting your friends is good.

Does anyone want to be my Facebook friend?


Sure =)


Good, my profile;


https://www.facebook.com/Kitty59?ref=bookmarks


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

12 Apr 2017, 12:25 pm

I don't use it, I never liked the idea of 'collecting' friends since I never had many to begin with so I hated social media from the beginning. I am sure I am considered an absolute antisocial freak for not being on there, maybe I wouldn't be so isolated today if I were tho I dunno. The internet isn't really fun anymore nor is it a refuge for weirdos, it's just an extension of real life where I am alone and ostracized.



crystaltermination
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,029
Location: UK

19 Apr 2017, 11:59 am

I've had a few stops and starts with Facebook. As such a popular social media platform it remains unfortunately the best way for me to keep in contact, if only by a few words and other niceties with relatives, etc... I deactivated my account for several years at one point; only returned after finding myself in a better place. Facebook doesn't make my life a better place, it can be damn annoying, but many of the online artist acquaintances I'm friends with on there keep me up-to-date with some of the things that interest me. More recently it's also become my prerogative to use it as a means to keep an eye on local activist groups I want to be part of.


_________________
On hiatus thanks to someone in real life breaching my privacy here, without my permission! May be back one day. +tips hat+


MagicKnight
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 460

19 Apr 2017, 12:36 pm

Go to your personal FB settings.

Put all those "annoying friends" in your "Acquaintances" group. You can add multiple people at once.
Then configure your default posts' privacy settings and sharing options to stuff like "Who can see my posts? Friends, except acquaintances".

Whenever you add a new friend, have him/her added to "Acquaintaces" on the spot.

Then there's the option to watch your profile as someone else. Do it, see what else is public that you don't want like that - for instance your photos. Go to settings, configure the privacy accordingly.

Google if you want to know more.



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

23 Apr 2017, 10:46 pm

I like Facebook. Wasn't always that way but it's easier to make friends there atleast for me anyways

If you want to leave it forever creating another account seems pointless cause eventually you'll end up in a similar situation. If you're serious, then give it up.

But it is pretty cool. I like razzing people on there, seeing what's good and keeping touch with my family.


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light