Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

NorwichGeorge
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 27 May 2018
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 62
Location: Norwich, UK

03 Jun 2018, 4:47 am

Knowing that I'm hopelessly bad at social situations I thought I'd just check on here to see if anyone had any advice or had been in a similar situation.

I had a friend in school who I was very close with. She was almost like a sister to me and I strongly suspect now that she's also an aspie (although I don't think either of us would have really known what that meant at the time). We would talk most days and had similar interests. We both ended up moving away from the city we grew up in. She ended up getting a boyfriend who hated me (I think he thought that I was a threat but my relationship with her has only ever been platonic) and whilst she told me to ignore that I felt I was causing issues so I started messaging her less and less. The last text I got from her was saying she was getting rid of her mobile because she didn't like having a phone. This was about 5 years ago. She has in that mean time got rid of her social media accounts, and she always hated them anyway.

The other day I saw a book in a shop with her name on the front. It was a book of short stories written by a local writer's group. It was cheap so I bought it thinking it was probably not her but after reading the three stories of hers that are in the book I am convinced it is her and suddenly I've started missing her. No one who I knew was friends with her has seemingly heard for her for ages or has any contact details for her even though it would seem that she is back in the city (as am I). I do however have her dad's address.

So the question is, would you feel it's appropriate to send her a letter (to her dad's address) to ask whether she wanted to be friends again, and if so how would I even go about wording something like that?



neilson_wheels
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2013
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,404
Location: London, Capital of the Un-United Kingdom

03 Jun 2018, 5:31 am

I don't think it would be inappropriate to send a letter to be forwarded, I'm assuming you have no reason to believe they are not on good terms.

If you do I would think that short and sweet and relaxed would be the best option. No need to send a long and deep essay, this might seem a bit too much for the recipient, it also means you don't have too much invested if she chooses not to respond.



whatamievendoing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,336
Location: Finland

03 Jun 2018, 6:08 am

Go for it. You have nothing to lose by at least trying.


_________________
“They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.”
― Kurt Cobain


Summer_Twilight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,157

05 Jun 2018, 7:57 am

I would start by writing her a letter by telling her you enjoy her book about short stories and mention which ones you enjoy and leave your contact information and leave at that because the ball will fall in her court.



green0star
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,415
Location: blah

24 Jun 2018, 8:11 pm

I find that old friendships are kinda hard to resurrect at times because depending on how long you've been out of contact you and the person are both very different people. Good luck anyway though. You have nothing to lose and maybe a rekindled friendship to gain :D



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

24 Jun 2018, 10:02 pm

I'd pass on it......look ahead to the future.