How do you handle situations like this?

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hannahjrob
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21 Sep 2017, 6:26 pm

Today, I was at a gas station. Right as I finished pumping my gas, this woman came up to me from out of nowhere. I could immediately tell that she was probably high on something when she started talking. Half of what she said was incoherent and made no sense. All I did get out of what she said was that she needed a ride to her hotel room and she said she'd "pay me whatever I want". Well, for obvious reasons, I don't want to just let strangers in the car with me, and especially not one who appears to be on drugs. I mean, I have had people at places like this come up to me asking for money, but usually if I just say sorry, I don't have anything on me, they just walk away. This was the first time I've had someone insist that I need to give them a ride. I just told her sorry, I need to be somewhere so I can't, but she just kept rambling and saying that she would pay me and also that the hotel was right down the road (in which case, I don't understand why she couldn't just walk the rest of the way if it was just down the road, because she obviously walked to the gas station). She was literally leaning against my car, and thank goodness I always lock the doors as soon as I get out whenever I get gas, because I think if the doors had been unlocked she may have have just gotten right in. Well, after I just told her I couldn't and she wouldn't give up, I had no idea what to do. I froze for a second but then just went inside the store. There was a man who appeared to be the manager working behind the counter so I just told him what was going on and that I didn't feel comfortable. He immediately went out and I guess just asked her to leave. I was watching from inside and she didn't get belligerent or anything and just walked off. So I felt kind of pathetic for not being able to just get her to go away on my own. It's not like she was some 6 foot tall man...she was a fairly small woman, she wasn't actually threatening me, and she didn't appear to have weapons on her, so I couldn't help but feel a little stupid for running inside and asking the manager to rescue me. Although if I had gotten her to leave me alone, she likely would have just approached someone else (there were several other customers there getting gas). And when the manager came back in, he said he didn't blame me for being uncomfortable because she clearly was on something, and he also mentioned that they don't want people like that harrassing their customers, so maybe I did do the right thing?



Raleigh
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21 Sep 2017, 6:36 pm

You did exactly the right thing.


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Campin_Cat
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21 Sep 2017, 6:49 pm

hannahjrob wrote:
...maybe I did do the right thing?

Yeah, I can't think of anything better / different----in-fact, I hope to keep that in-mind, cuz I might've just gotten in my car, and they might've run-around to the other side and got in, when I unlocked my door.







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kraftiekortie
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21 Sep 2017, 7:15 pm

I agree. Some mighty small people can do some mighty nasty things. Especially if they are desperate. For all you know, this women could have been setting you up to get robbed.

You did the right, smart thing.



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22 Sep 2017, 5:23 am

That happened to me at a gas station last week where two women in a car were pretending to act like we had met some time ago and then asked me for cigarettes. I said no and that I don't smoke before they told me that they needed the money. So, I went inside and spoke the store owner until she drove away.

You did the right thing because she was trying to manipulate you out of your money so she could continue to get high. The hotel story is a lie to get her drugs. When people approach you like that, just tell them no you can't meet their needs and walk away. Now if they become hostile, that when you carry pepper spray, get to a safe location and call the police or security.



Joe90
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23 Sep 2017, 1:10 pm

You did do the right thing. You never know, she could have lashed out and caused a scene, being so she was probably high on something. Those people are unpredictable and often are seen as a threat.

I had something similar happen to me at a bus stop a few weeks ago. This random man came over to me and spilled out this sob story, trying to guilt me into giving him money for the train. He was rather convincing, but I had to say no. He was calm, but I still didn't trust him. Then another bloke nearby started telling him to go away and stop asking for money, then he said to me that the man was lying and that his sob story wasn't really true and was just a ploy to get people to give him money. I semi-figured that out, but my stupid high empathy made me feel sorry for him. But I'm glad I said no.


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Summer_Twilight
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27 Sep 2017, 8:10 am

There was a woman on the streets begging for money onetime when I was on my way into the mall and I felt bad and almost gave her the money when I heard her yelling "Get outta my face," when another woman shouted at her
"You f***ng b***h and pulled me away by telling me that she wasn't homeless but was a woman living in a nursing home and had seen her there before.

Yes, some of these sob stories are so convincing which is what they want, for you to feel sorry for them.



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28 Sep 2017, 4:00 am

hannahjrob wrote:
Today, I was at a gas station. Right as I finished pumping my gas, this woman came up to me from out of nowhere. I could immediately tell that she was probably high on something when she started talking. Half of what she said was incoherent and made no sense. All I did get out of what she said was that she needed a ride to her hotel room and she said she'd "pay me whatever I want". Well, for obvious reasons, I don't want to just let strangers in the car with me, and especially not one who appears to be on drugs. I mean, I have had people at places like this come up to me asking for money, but usually if I just say sorry, I don't have anything on me, they just walk away. This was the first time I've had someone insist that I need to give them a ride. I just told her sorry, I need to be somewhere so I can't, but she just kept rambling and saying that she would pay me and also that the hotel was right down the road (in which case, I don't understand why she couldn't just walk the rest of the way if it was just down the road, because she obviously walked to the gas station). She was literally leaning against my car, and thank goodness I always lock the doors as soon as I get out whenever I get gas, because I think if the doors had been unlocked she may have have just gotten right in. Well, after I just told her I couldn't and she wouldn't give up, I had no idea what to do. I froze for a second but then just went inside the store. There was a man who appeared to be the manager working behind the counter so I just told him what was going on and that I didn't feel comfortable. He immediately went out and I guess just asked her to leave. I was watching from inside and she didn't get belligerent or anything and just walked off. So I felt kind of pathetic for not being able to just get her to go away on my own. It's not like she was some 6 foot tall man...she was a fairly small woman, she wasn't actually threatening me, and she didn't appear to have weapons on her, so I couldn't help but feel a little stupid for running inside and asking the manager to rescue me. Although if I had gotten her to leave me alone, she likely would have just approached someone else (there were several other customers there getting gas). And when the manager came back in, he said he didn't blame me for being uncomfortable because she clearly was on something, and he also mentioned that they don't want people like that harrassing their customers, so maybe I did do the right thing?


I may have offered to call her a cab. I may have also asked if she needed medical assistance, being hypoglycemia from insulin that diabetics take can cause confusion and is a medical emergency, but you did the right thing.