Mingling at a blues bar w/ fellow blues students and teacher

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WonderWoman
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 1 Jun 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 312
Location: California

05 Jul 2010, 11:41 am

I've been doing ok socially for the most part, but...

Most of my social life has centered around joining a group that has a specific activity and pretty much prescribed expected behaviors, like Zen groups or dance lessons and dances (blues dancing). I've figured out how they work and do ok. But a little over a year ago I took up blues harmonica, and once a month we get together at a blues bar and we perform there (our teacher arranged all that) or we go out and hear other blues bands with harmonica players at a blues club. Now that I'm over the stage fright when we jam, the tough part is what happens in between or when we we're all mingling when other bands are performing.

I have a lesson with my teacher on 4-6 one Saturday a month, so he says that his teacher and another professional will be playing at this club right after our lesson. So I say, great I'll go. Then after the lesson, he says, "I'll be there shortly after you, save me a seat." Ah! Such a little thing, but it screwed me all up. He's supposed to sit with the other professionals, isn't he? Also, I'm one of only few of his female students. He's 20 years younger than me and usually that makes it clear that this is just friendship, but there's something glitchy here.

So, anyway, the seats at all the other tables with people he knows were taken, and the only ones left were not good. I asked his teacher (standing on the sidelines waiting to go on stage) if he had a table (which was dumb because usually the performers don't have tables, but I'm freaked by now) and he didn't. Then my teacher shows up and I was chatting with people at another table and he stops to say hello. So far so good. He then sees someone I missed who came in the back door and starts walking there, and I see this guy too, who I like and I head back too. Then my teacher turns around and scowls at me (thinks I'm following him? chasing after him? That kind of attitude from a man is sooooo insulting.)......I could go on with what made me uncomfortable, but maybe you get the point: I'm easily thrown off. I wish it were easier.


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"Do not think, 'I am alone.'" Sasaki Roshi
WonderWoman