Finally Cut Ties With That 'Friend'

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Years ago I came in here asking about what I should do about I friend I had. She was once supportive of my autism, anxiety, depression etc but then she just went cold. She also called me selfish when I wouldn't go out due to anxiety from PTSD and often told me I was making excuses or giving up.
After I posted here I then felt I had overreacted but then her behaviour continued and I wrote the same post in and ADHD forum and a ME/CFS one. By this time I was trying to cut ties with her but she wouldn't let me, which is weird and controlling in itself.
But this morning I decided to and it feels good but I feel like I don't have any friends anymore, but I think I can go without having a friend for a little while. I still have people I consider friends that I rarely see, but no one I'm really close to. I'm not sure I will ever open myself up to another person after dealing with this girl.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to those people who originally told me to cut ties with her.

Now I've got to overcome my moderate-severe social anxiety before I worry about making friends again.

It sounds like you made the right choice with her being that she guilt tripped you for:
1. Having PTSD and anxiety which you sometimes can't help.
2. For wanting to cut the relationship off.


She sounds like a very needy person or rather someone who's a basket case who's incapable of being without someone.

As for you, feeling lonely is normal being that you are sad about cutting ties with a toxic friend who is just going to bring you down. Getting involved in organizations, clubs, places of worship are ways to meet others.

That's good that you cut ties with that person. I have had to cut ties with toxic people myself.

You need friends that accept you as you are and respect your needs. I know that is hard to find as most people are toxic to people like us.

Exactly. I had a similar situation that I cut off three years ago after going back and forth from talking to her two. Basically, she was someone who had autism plus other disabilities and was coddled and spoiled by her parents. Because of this, she was allowed to get away with behaving any old way she wanted along with being very controlling. For example, she would call or me excessively. It was especially annoying when I would be out with other friends or be doing things like homework. She was always accusing me of making her feel invisible when I was inviting to her to things all the time and she wasn't available.

Sure I was sad to cut that relationship off but I felt that it was all about my friend getting her way next to pleasing her mother.

When someone makes you feel bad when you aren't feeding "Their needs" while they aren't there for you, then they aren't worth it.

My sister has a couple of autistic friends that I thought were spoiled and coddled by their parents. Their parents never made them do anything in school and they pretty much do whatever they want when they want. One of them had her own credit card as a teenager and hung out at the bowling alley almost every night. The other girl had her own car and her parents didn't like my sister for some strange reason so they wouldn't let their daughter give my sister a ride home when they all got together at the bowling alley. It really irritates me when parents don't make an effort to teach their autistic kids responsibility and life skills. Most are capable of learning these things.

That's totally sad for Elaine's sister.

That would make sense for her friend's sister to dislike your sister in a situation like that. I have learned that most overly protective parents will usually view a friend as a threat because they are jealous of that friendship. In fact, my former friend's parent couldn't stand any of her friends outside of their friends and family because she was jealous.

I was excluded from my friend's 30th surprise birthday party even though I have invited her to things all the time and took her on a few trips such as Disney World. Her mother also picked on me about how this or that special occasion wasn't all about me.

Examples: When another friend was getting married, we went to a bridal shop as we were both in my other ex-friend's wedding. Though I was looking at dresses for fun, though I knew what I was expected to wear, her mother kept bullying me. "This isn't about you. It's your friend's wedding" or "Now this is for your friend."

She picked on me at a Japanese Festival when my friend was buying an anime wall scroll though I was looking too, I thought I had given her the second one. So I attempted to put it back when my ex-friend proceeded to be condescending. "My daughter is paid for that you don't put it back (Derogatory use of my name) SUMMER!" I told her off. "I know that lady! I don't need to condescend like that." Though they were leaving anyway, her mother was mad and stormed out of the festival with an attitude.

My sister's friend's parents didn't like my sister because she dresses like a boy and she's not from one of the popular families in town.

I went to school with some other students who had different disabilities who came from families that had piles of money. Meanwhile, they seemed to snub our family because we were middle-class along with these parents somehow getting the idea that I was wild and slept around with people on top of misunderstanding my have AS.

My mom tried to get me together with two autistic girls whose Mother's she knew. These women were from prominant families in my town so they weren't interested in their daughters getting to know me.

Ladyelaine:

The autism specialist who worked with me in school blamed my parents and I for not reaching out more.

Now regarding the woman who was so overly protective, she wasn't wealthy at all but it seemed like she and her husband kept up with the Jones' in a way along with their noses being pretty high. They also managed to buy my ex-friend some really expensive things for her birthdays and Christmas while most people have to save for those things or wait until they went on sale.

Actually, I got along with my friend's mother at first until she found out that I was not in a college setting to get a GED. After that her nose went in the air with me.

People have blamed me and my family for not reaching out more too. We have tried and tried with people. People are just too obsessed with social status to give us a chance.

Those kinds of people are really shallow and though it's heartbreaking, really it's a blessing in disguise that neither one of us had to deal with those kinds of people. For one thing, these are what my friend refers to as "Low-quality people" and aren't capable of being nice or accepting. Personally, I don't think you would be happy with people like that because those kinds of people tend to be miserable and bring everyone else down.

Looking back on all the people who picked me apart and disrespected me as a person were not happy people
Examples:
1. The mother of my clingy ex-friend was unhappy
2. The other mothers who snubbed me never smiled
3. My other ex-friend's mother-in-law got into other people's business and thought she could tell them what they couldn't afford. Just like the others, she was a miserable woman who always seemed to be mad about everything.
4. My aunt, uncle and and my two cousins hardly ever smiled and didn't seemed to appreciate the gifts we would get them
5. My other ex-friend and her husband were never smiling about anything

I don't like to waste my time with those kinds of people. I want to be around people who accept me as I am and those are few and far between.

Some people actually, really, truly believe that they can:

--Pray away the gay,
--Debate away the autism, and
--Teach away the anxiety.

They believe that they invest so much time with friendly "helping" of others that they expect (demand) results. When those results don't manifest, they blame the others for not listening, acting and changing into the friends that they wish they had.

They will almost never recognize their own mistakes and hostilities. It is usually best to move on and connect with better (or new) friends. I would like to say that doing that might help, but I wonder if it isn't a lot of "rinse and repeat."

It's a lot of rinse and repeat for me. Most people suck.