How one befriends an Aspie/Autistic?

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Hi all. Today I've met an aspie/autistic guy at uni. I'm a sophomore, and he must be a freshman, as far as I know. He also studies Japanese language. How to befriend the guy?

If you have read my previous posts you might know that I have not an offical diagnosis and actually doubt that I have Asperger's. But I have a lot in common so may actually be an aspie.

I've been making friends lately but I don't know if the friendship will last. Usually friendships don't last, despite me being polite and making jokes and trying to find common interests and helping when needed.

So I would also like to have a friend who is like me. But that guy is a freshman and I don't know much about him.

If you are officially diagnosed with ASD please say something about that. Would you befriend a person like me, based on what I told you? Is it OK to seek friendship based on possible ASD and similar subject of study?

By the way the guy already has at least one friend. Actually another autistic/aspie guy I know from earlier already has a friend and we don't have much in common cuz he's into history and war, and I'm not that knowledgeable. So they all have friends. Dudes prefer other dudes as friends, is that correct to assume?

At uni, I have no friends and those I do have are from evening Japanese club and one is a working woman 5 years older than me, and she's soon leaving for Czech Republic.

Before I answer with my own experiences from an Aspie's perspective, I should mention that these methods are based solely on anecdotal evidence and may not necessarily work with all Aspies.

With that out of the way, one of the best ways to befriend me is to just talk to me. As much and as often as you can, and about topics that are close to you in some manner. The most recent friend I've made, our friendship essentially began when we were discussing mental health one evening - and mental health is a topic close to her in the sense that she has mental health problems herself.

It's essentially all about being open and daring to talk about personal topics. I like to think of myself as an empathic person, and I'll gladly listen if anyone needs to vent about anything.

That said, I'd once again like to emphasize that these are only my own experiences, and that they're not guaranteed to work with every Aspie.

I made a little group of friends at uni but dont know how to maintain relationships when i move away. Lost lots of friends in my life.

However, i do feel making friends with aspies on basis they are an aspie is fine , they are my peers and understand some of things i go through so automatically this makes them closer to me.

I used make friends with my sense of humour and confidence and being nice.

Asking them what their interests are is a good one so you can automatically see what you share in common.

Wish i could help more

OK thank you guys a lot! I'll try

I think the advice of just talk with him is good...

leave out the subtext until you know how much or little he's able to read subtext.

Be honest. Since you already have some traits this might not be as much of a problem for you but when someone does the silly little NT dishonesty stuff that I can see through it drives me nuts and I tend not to respect or trust them nearly as much. For example: "You seem like someone I could relate with" makes more sense and builds more rapport than "you're such an interesting an unusual person and I always love people so much who are different from the rest of the world"... The second might be true, but if it's not and is just a way to cover up that you want to be friends with him because he's weird like you then it could backfire and seem patronizing.

Be ready for the fact that you just might not be compatible with him/them as friends. Sometimes you think you could get along with someone but then as you start to talk with them it just doesn't work. Don't let it get you down or make you insecure, just now that it happens sometimes.

I'm Autistic myself and how I make friends is start by talking about or being in a group of common interests. I have several online friends I met on Facebook and other sites due to us having similar interests. Just talk to him about something you 2 have in common.

How about talking to him about Japan. Stick to fact based things. He might be a bit uncomfortable to start with if he has had difficulties with other females,and he doesn't know you might be Aspie. If you begin slow and keep to facts that should reassure him so that you will be able to get to know each other. Sorry you have not found friends at uni, that must be difficult.