Conversation starters - not the small talk kind.

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These suggestions are on another level from the small meaningless chat, so I'm posting them as they offer some interesting alternatives:

https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arab ... -meetings/

I doubt asking any of these from a stranger is a good idea. You'd have to at least be acquaintances with them.

She said she was thinking of couples and friends, though some of them could be useful in a dating situation. Obviously you wouldn't ask a total stranger straight out, that would be intrusive.

If they’re not the small-talk kind, what are they? The big-talk kind? Hardly an improvement

I usually like to ask "what's are you passionate about". I find that people are the most fun if you can get them to talk about the thing they absolutely love. Some people are boring and petty and will say they like netflix, partying, or eating, but most people have SOMETHING they would admit being passionate about, even if it's just some obscure hobby... once you make it OK to nerd out, they often will, and it can get pretty interesting!

This can work for strangers or people you know... even if you know their occupation and hobbies, their passion could be something else.

After finding out about their passion and discovering whether or not it's what they do for their job, I also like to ask "are you happy". I have found it's a very unexpected question for most people but gets some really interesting and honest answers.

Ha. For me, what annoys me about "small talk" is that it is like using cheesy stock imagery or clip art on a graphics project. Some of it is just really ugly, while some of it can be kind of cute or clever, but it's just so terribly generic and you can tell from 100 miles away that it's clip art. It makes the project feel disposable, impersonal, unimportant, and super amateur.

Using generic "stock" questions on a human like "how's the weather" feels equally impersonal and disposable. Some of these questions are terrible and some are kind of interesting, but the point is that the person didn't have to think of something to say to me... they just used a generic "clip art" question. Generic questions warrant generic stock answers, like "omg for real" or "wow that's crazy". Neither of us care at all and that's what make small talk so stupid and pointless. We all know what's going on... might as well just not talk and save everyone the trouble.

Sometimes I do comment on the weather because it actually is wild weather and I have a good story about it. Sometimes I am thinking about dyeing my hair or painting my room, so I ask people what their favorite colors are. The questions work in these cases because I am coming from a place of sincerity. I think you can have great conversion and talk "small". It doesn't always have to be super deep topics, as long as it's personal and genuine.