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Why would a male friend not hang out anymore?

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angelofdarkness
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30 Apr 2018, 5:40 pm

I used to be quite close friends with a guy coworker , we'd chat online a bit and hang out every so often. I'm a bit confused now though lately because he don't message me on fb or text me anymore. I did get invited to a party for him, that I went to though. I was surprised when his dad told me he was hoping id show up since he's been acting distant. He did ask how I was and talked to me a little bit while I was at the party. I haven't hung out with him since then, but I've noticed he kind of looks at me a little bit when he thinks I ain't looking. He's also looked when he heard i went to the mall without him and last Thursday at work I turned around and caught him looking at me, he looked away after a second. I'm confused why he's acting like this since we used to hang out all the time.


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30 Apr 2018, 6:28 pm

It seems like it's possible that he's thinking of you as more than a friend, now----which is a GOOD thing, if YOU think it is!! He's not wanting to hang-out, maybe, cuz he's nervous around you now, and wanting there to be more, but is afraid to ask you out on a date, and/or afraid you won't feel the same about him.

Maybe..... Would you have the nerve to text him, and ask him why y'all don't hang-out anymore, but that he still seems to like you?





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angelofdarkness
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30 Apr 2018, 6:34 pm

Campin_Cat wrote:
It seems like it's possible that he's thinking of you as more than a friend, now----which is a GOOD thing, if YOU think it is!! He's not wanting to hang-out, maybe, cuz he's nervous around you now, and wanting there to be more, but is afraid to ask you out on a date, and/or afraid you won't feel the same about him.

Maybe..... Would you have the nerve to text him, and ask him why y'all don't hang-out anymore, but that he still seems to like you?

are you sure? he said he only viewed me as a friend when someone said about us seeming like we'ere dating, why would he change suddenly after a month or two ? that just don't make sense to me


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30 Apr 2018, 7:57 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
Campin_Cat wrote:
It seems like it's possible that he's thinking of you as more than a friend, now----which is a GOOD thing, if YOU think it is!! He's not wanting to hang-out, maybe, cuz he's nervous around you now, and wanting there to be more, but is afraid to ask you out on a date, and/or afraid you won't feel the same about him.

Maybe..... Would you have the nerve to text him, and ask him why y'all don't hang-out anymore, but that he still seems to like you?

are you sure? he said he only viewed me as a friend when someone said about us seeming like we'ere dating, why would he change suddenly after a month or two ? that just don't make sense to me


Guys aren't always honest about their intentions with women, especially if they aren't sure if the women is interested romantically, or not. If he told everyone that he was interested in you romantically, and you was only interested in being friends, that would be really embarrassing for him.



kraftiekortie
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30 Apr 2018, 8:17 pm

Men are very averse to rejection by women. They tend to take rejection very hard.

They don't want to experience the feeling of rejection----so they avoid having to "put themselves out."

Very loosely, this feeling is akin to being averse to cold water---which causes one to only gradually place their whole body in a swimming pool.



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30 Apr 2018, 8:38 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
I used to be quite close friends with a guy coworker , we'd chat online a bit and hang out every so often. I'm a bit confused now though lately because he don't message me on fb or text me anymore. I did get invited to a party for him, that I went to though. I was surprised when his dad told me he was hoping id show up since he's been acting distant. He did ask how I was and talked to me a little bit while I was at the party. I haven't hung out with him since then, but I've noticed he kind of looks at me a little bit when he thinks I ain't looking. He's also looked when he heard i went to the mall without him and last Thursday at work I turned around and caught him looking at me, he looked away after a second. I'm confused why he's acting like this since we used to hang out all the time.


If he's looking at you and then looking away, it sounds like he thinks your pretty but he's trying to hide that thought. He might be afraid to risk the friendship by admitting that he's attracted to you. Are you attracted to him? Could you see him as your boyfriend instead of just a friend?



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30 Apr 2018, 8:49 pm

AspieSingleDad wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
I used to be quite close friends with a guy coworker , we'd chat online a bit and hang out every so often. I'm a bit confused now though lately because he don't message me on fb or text me anymore. I did get invited to a party for him, that I went to though. I was surprised when his dad told me he was hoping id show up since he's been acting distant. He did ask how I was and talked to me a little bit while I was at the party. I haven't hung out with him since then, but I've noticed he kind of looks at me a little bit when he thinks I ain't looking. He's also looked when he heard i went to the mall without him and last Thursday at work I turned around and caught him looking at me, he looked away after a second. I'm confused why he's acting like this since we used to hang out all the time.


If he's looking at you and then looking away, it sounds like he thinks your pretty but he's trying to hide that thought. He might be afraid to risk the friendship by admitting that he's attracted to you. Are you attracted to him? Could you see him as your boyfriend instead of just a friend?


If he thinks that she just wants to be friends, or isn't sure about her interest in him, this is probably why he distanced himself from her.



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30 Apr 2018, 9:27 pm

Its good there are guys explaining this behavior because this is absolutely mystifying. Why do guys give up so easily?

Also, the guys father? Hard to interpret. Does he even know what he is talking about, or is it wishful thinking?


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angelofdarkness
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30 Apr 2018, 9:35 pm

underwater wrote:
Its good there are guys explaining this behavior because this is absolutely mystifying. Why do guys give up so easily?

Also, the guys father? Hard to interpret. Does he even know what he is talking about, or is it wishful thinking?



I don't know about the guys father, he noticed me before the guy did at that party and greeted me by name and said he was hoping you'd show up


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30 Apr 2018, 10:07 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
underwater wrote:
Its good there are guys explaining this behavior because this is absolutely mystifying. Why do guys give up so easily?

Also, the guys father? Hard to interpret. Does he even know what he is talking about, or is it wishful thinking?



I don't know about the guys father, he noticed me before the guy did at that party and greeted me by name and said he was hoping you'd show up


Interesting :mrgreen:

I am rather unsubtle. Every time I ended up in a relationship I pretty much just told the guy. Dont know how that would work. Some guys like that. Some guys get scared. Your guy seems to be of the scared variety. I have no idea how to handle them.


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01 May 2018, 7:33 am

It's obvious that he has a crush on you and could be keeping his distance because he wants to keep things professional as most people who date that work together can end up in disasters. It could also be that he's shy and is too scared to admit his feelings for you as well.



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01 May 2018, 9:51 am

Maybe he thinks you have a wonderful personality and he enjoys it, but he just can't see himself ever kissing Spock.


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angelofdarkness
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01 May 2018, 5:18 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
It's obvious that he has a crush on you and could be keeping his distance because he wants to keep things professional as most people who date that work together can end up in disasters. It could also be that he's shy and is too scared to admit his feelings for you as well.


even just to hang out as friends? really i dont get this, he don't even talk to me on fb I haven't seen him outside of work since the party i mentioned


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01 May 2018, 6:16 pm

underwater wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
underwater wrote:
Its good there are guys explaining this behavior because this is absolutely mystifying. Why do guys give up so easily?

Also, the guys father? Hard to interpret. Does he even know what he is talking about, or is it wishful thinking?



I don't know about the guys father, he noticed me before the guy did at that party and greeted me by name and said he was hoping you'd show up


Interesting :mrgreen:

I am rather unsubtle. Every time I ended up in a relationship I pretty much just told the guy. Dont know how that would work. Some guys like that. Some guys get scared. Your guy seems to be of the scared variety. I have no idea how to handle them.


There is nothing wrong with telling the guy, just don't be too forward, or pushy about it...this usually turns men off.



angelofdarkness
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01 May 2018, 6:19 pm

SilverStar wrote:
underwater wrote:
angelofdarkness wrote:
underwater wrote:
Its good there are guys explaining this behavior because this is absolutely mystifying. Why do guys give up so easily?

Also, the guys father? Hard to interpret. Does he even know what he is talking about, or is it wishful thinking?



I don't know about the guys father, he noticed me before the guy did at that party and greeted me by name and said he was hoping you'd show up


Interesting :mrgreen:

I am rather unsubtle. Every time I ended up in a relationship I pretty much just told the guy. Dont know how that would work. Some guys like that. Some guys get scared. Your guy seems to be of the scared variety. I have no idea how to handle them.


There is nothing wrong with telling the guy, just don't be too forward, or pushy about it...this usually turns men off.


i tried to once before and he woundnt lsiten so i've just been trying to move on since that was back in feburary that I told him. Why would he change suddenly though if it's true?


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02 May 2018, 8:55 am

angelofdarkness wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
It's obvious that he has a crush on you and could be keeping his distance because he wants to keep things professional as most people who date that work together can end up in disasters. It could also be that he's shy and is too scared to admit his feelings for you as well.


even just to hang out as friends? really i dont get this, he don't even talk to me on fb I haven't seen him outside of work since the party i mentioned



I didn't notice your profile picture before so "Live on and Prosper" but remember we are aliens from other plans learning to adapt and speak their language. I am with you, I don't understand why he's ignoring you one minute and inviting you to parties.

Ask him if you did anything that bothers me or whether he has the bit of a crush on you.