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Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 790

14 May 2019, 3:36 pm

I've moved out to a town where quirkiness is appreciated. Everywhere else I live, this would have been seen as 'wrong', but this is a different sort of place.

I find if I deliberately do certain unusual things, eg wearing an alternative haircut, I attract a more interesting sort of person to talk to me.

This has to be a deliberate thing and it has to be because I like it. If it's something I do unintentionally, I attract not nice people, (bullies and creeps). If it's something I do to please others, it seems to get the same as the first. But for some reason, if I deliberately choose for me to be brave and go for something unusual, I get the sort of people I want to talk to.

The people I mean are for eg, artists. I'm hanging out in cafes talking to people about art history. Or I'm talking about alternative fashion. Or I'm making jokes with people. I don't know if they're on the spectrum or not but they have a unique way of seeing the world.

At the same time, the more 'normal' types of people aren't as interested in talking and the conservative types don't want to talk to me. That is good for me because I'm not that interested in conformist type people in the first place and it gets me out of doing 'small talk'.

Anyone else find this?

jimmy m

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,564
Location: Indiana

14 May 2019, 7:35 pm

Some Aspies grow up to become Nonconformist. It is a good thing. Here are a few quotes about nonconformist:

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire

Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson

Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin


Joined: 11 Aug 2015
Posts: 4,922

15 May 2019, 9:35 am

Your alternative hair style broadcasts to the world that you are a certain type of person - not merely nonconformist, but trendy or edgy. That's fine, because it's attracting the types you like and deterring the types you don't.

Other people achieve something similar with body art, tattoos and piercings etc. Myself, I mainly use an uncommon clothing style that shows me to be unique.

What you have done seems great to me. The only caveat is to not get too "out there" because you don't want to have trouble with the authorities if it ever comes to that.

Enjoy your new status!

Can you tell us more about this place you have moved to?