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MannyBoo
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17 Oct 2019, 6:49 pm

Does anyone else ever do this?

In case you don’t know the term “Ghosting” means to intentionally and suddenly stop communicating with people. Other terms are Dumping you friends, Abandoning your friends, Eliminating your friends.

So you suddenly don’t meet them anymore, not talk to them, stop texting them, don’t answer back their messages, stop calling them, don’t return their calls. This is done suddenly, because you don’t want any human interaction for a period of time.

You don’t necessarily hate or dislike people. You still like them. You just want to be alone. So you intentionally dump your friends. This period of time can last for days, months, years, or even forever.

The result of this is you have very few friends, maybe 1 or 2, or even no friends at all. You are alone.



Last edited by MannyBoo on 17 Oct 2019, 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2019, 6:53 pm

Yes, I've done this and I'm in the midst of it now. I don't call it ghosting though. I think that applies when people vanish without a trace and others don't know why. In my case I told my very few friends that I'm in breakdown mode and don't really want to communicate or see anyone. This was over a year ago. One has persisted in trying to challenge me, thinking I'll be happier to go out and do things. The others have had to learn not to take it personally. I'm doing the best I can, but I intend for it to pretty much last forever except for a few exceptions. I have no hard feelings against anyone; I just can't handle people any more.



Eternal_Enigma
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19 Oct 2019, 2:21 pm

Yes, and i've always wondered if anyone else ever did this as well. I guess that's why I only have a few friends. I often feel isolated because people don't understand the way my brain works so instead of getting triggered by them I kind of just want to be alone.



smudge
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19 Oct 2019, 2:44 pm

Yes, I do it on here as well. It's nothing personal to anyone. It is usually when I'm overwhelmed or busy with something (same reaction). I don't cut off all contact, it just means conversations are mostly off limits. Most of my Facebook friends understand it, or at least put up with it, lol. It doesn't mean if they ever needed me that I wouldn't be there for them though, I will always be there for them if they really needed me that much. Just for problem solving though and no listening. If they needed somewhere to stay, I trusted them enough, and I had a place to stay that would allow it then I would let them, because most of my friends (and my boyfriend at the time) never offered me that when I needed it, which disappointed me greatly. People are disappointing, I can say that up front in front of them too.

As for listening though, with a romantic partner there's an exception in that I would listen to them.



GonHunter
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19 Oct 2019, 3:24 pm

I've been doing that for a while. It made me realize that I am able to avoid any relationship. Usually this isolation can be associated with bipolar disorder.



Oakling
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19 Oct 2019, 3:31 pm

Yes I’ve done this my whole life. I struggle to maintain the level of contact most people seem to need for a friendship. Things get to an unmanageable level and I have to retreat.



Mona Pereth
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21 Oct 2019, 8:54 am

Several times in my life I've gone through a kind of social burnout in which it became very difficult for me to reach out to other people.

I didn't isolate myself totally. I could still receive phone calls, and I was fine with hearing from friends and relatives if they happened to call at a convenient time, but I had trouble with making phone calls, including returning calls.

I've also had periodic difficulties with even looking at email. As for snail mail, I've had trouble managing it ever since my late twenties or so, even when not in a burnout phase.


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Summer_Twilight
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21 Oct 2019, 9:06 am

When I ghost people it usually is when they call or text me excessively even though I love those people to death, I just don't have every waking hour of my day to make someone feel good.

Ghosting can also mean that someone gets super busy and doesn't always have the time to answer texts and phone calls even though one would like to because there are not enough hours in a day.



Fnord
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21 Oct 2019, 9:12 am

Sometimes it comes down to a question of who first ghosted whom.

Someone stops answering my calls, so I stop calling them.

Years later, we re-connect and they ask me why I stopped communicating.


:roll:


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kraftiekortie
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21 Oct 2019, 9:15 am

I've had friends with whom I reconnected after maybe 10-15 years.

It was like I just saw them yesterday.

I don't feel 'frequency of contact" is all that important in a friendship.



Summer_Twilight
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23 Oct 2019, 12:14 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sometimes it comes down to a question of who first ghosted whom.

Someone stops answering my calls, so I stop calling them.

Years later, we re-connect and they ask me why I stopped communicating.


:roll:

:lol: It's amazing how clueless people can be when it comes to things like that or they "Don't remember."

At the moment, I have a close friend who is ghosting another friend and I because he lives in another part of town. It's not because the relationship is toxic or anything. Rather, it's because he has gotten involved with a church and has gotten involved and that group. He basically has not been returning my texts and seems to brush me off about how busy he is. So I am not contacting him again if he is going to act like that. Things have also gotten to be a bit one-sided as far as effort goes.

I could honestly just see him calling me somewhere down the line doing what you are talking about.



LunaticCentruroides
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23 Oct 2019, 8:45 pm

I tried it, but I have a huge conscience that makes it difficult. That made me hang out with people I actually disliked which lead to constantly being overwhelmed. I wish I could cut contacts better instead of ghosting them. And some people can be very sticky, they try to keep up the contact until you will answer their calls or messages.. It's crazy.