What do you do if you have no friends? None!

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JustFoundHere
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17 Jan 2020, 12:13 pm

It might be best to become proactive, and "step outside the box" "yes, this is a challenge as it's all too easy to fall into that 'tunnel vision of sorts' on account of life's day to day concerns!"

In short, to reassess just what might be helpful for those concerned with the Autism Spectrum in encouraging friendships.

The WP thread 'Friendships - By Chance & Accident Or.....?' might be helpful:
viewtopic.php?t=383801



JustFoundHere
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02 Feb 2020, 7:57 pm

ADDENDUM: The discussion-thread - 'Being Acquainted With Trusted NTs' might be of help:
viewtopic.php?t=384289



Dial1194
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03 Feb 2020, 6:16 am

Quote:
“male bonding is more likely to lower a man’s stress levels than a night out with his partner, or time spent with the family.”


Personally, not being in the same building as any of these other people would lower my stress levels even more!



BuffaloBill
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03 Feb 2020, 7:13 am

I had a best friend, but he died suddenly of a stroke 4-5 years ago. Since then I haven't found anyone I want to do things with, and I don't feel that lonely. I don't have high social anxiety preventing me from making friends, so much as I haven't found anyone that I want to be friends with. Most people have some agenda, are not trustworthy, and are not authentic; in short they anoy me.

I was just diagnosed with ASD on January 30th. There is a group that meets weekly where I live, but I don't know if there are other Aspies like me in that group. I am open-minded and will give them a try. In the meantime, I am hoping I make some acquaintances online in this group.



blooiejagwa
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07 Feb 2020, 11:32 pm

BuffaloBill wrote:
I had a best friend, but he died suddenly of a stroke 4-5 years ago. Since then I haven't found anyone I want to do things with, and I don't feel that lonely. I don't have high social anxiety preventing me from making friends, so much as I haven't found anyone that I want to be friends with. Most people have some agenda, are not trustworthy, and are not authentic; in short they anoy me.

I was just diagnosed with ASD on January 30th. There is a group that meets weekly where I live, but I don't know if there are other Aspies like me in that group. I am open-minded and will give them a try. In the meantime, I am hoping I make some acquaintances online in this group.


That's very brave to join such a group. I signed up for one in my area years ago but opted out due to fear. It would be cool if you join and find that some of the people in that are also presently active on this forum.


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Sylkat
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21 Feb 2020, 9:56 pm

I am alone and frequently lonely.
I would like very much to have a friend.


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jimmy m
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21 Feb 2020, 10:54 pm

Sylkat wrote:
I am alone and frequently lonely.
I would like very much to have a friend.


Sylkat, in your profile you indicated you are 5 years old and Student Body President at Miskatonic University.

Over the years the Miskatonic University grew steadily, adding graduate courses in the 1880s, a women’s college in 1889 (renamed Pembroke College in 1928), a graduate school in 1927, and a medical education program in 1973 (now the Miskatonic Medical School). The men’s and women’s undergraduate colleges merged in 1971. While facilities and programs expanded, Miskatonic chose to keep its enrollment relatively small, with an undergraduate student-faculty ratio of about 10 to 1. The main campus covers nearly 140 acres, all of it within a 10-minute walk of its hub, the College Green.

The only thing is the University is imaginary. Miskatonic University is not a real university – in fact, it was invented by American horror novelist H.P. Lovecraft as a setting for many of his stories.

Sylkat, if you wish to make a friend or two, I would suggest joining a drama group that puts on plays. We have a summer theater in our small town. People come from many states during the summer to put on plays. The production group pulls in many individuals from the local community to provide support. You do not need to be an actor or actress to put on a play, there are many talents required. Some members are involved in stage lighting, costumes, orchestra, props and set design, sounds effects, and makeup. Working in a production is a good way to make some friends, both young and old.


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JustFoundHere
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22 Feb 2020, 7:14 pm

One of many helpful approaches might be to reassess........this discussion thread!



dracblau
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22 Feb 2020, 11:43 pm

I have many casual friends but no close friends. By casual I mean we might hang out once every month or so but not have much contact in between, or they are situational friends such as the friends I have made in college now that I’ve returned for a masters degree. They are usually friends during school but not outside of it.

I don’t have friends I can sit down with and discuss deep personal subjects with. I used to have closer friends but we’ve moved apart.

Interestingly enough, quite a few of my friends I would say are undiagnosed but on the spectrum, or diagnosed on the spectrum. I didn’t make an effort to befriend people specifically because of this, it just seems we fall into friendship by chance encounters. I’d say 50% of my friends are on the spectrum in some way, and 50% are NTs. I’m undiagnosed therefore I don’t tell anyone unless I know they are diagnosed.

To go back to the main topic, I would say a good way to meet people and make friends if you don’t have any is to go to get togethers and meetups that pertain to an interest you might have. I belong to meetups for ASD, photography, music, nerdy stuff, role playing games, and whatever else I think might interest me and help me meet like-minded people.



aquafelix
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23 Feb 2020, 8:33 am

I don't have any friends outside of work, none! and I'm perfectly happy with that



AprilR
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23 Feb 2020, 9:13 am

I have maybe 3 friends but they are a blessing. My coworkers also really seemed to like me for some reason so that's a bonus.



JustFoundHere
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23 Feb 2020, 3:44 pm

dracblau wrote:
I have many casual friends but no close friends. By casual I mean we might hang out once every month or so but not have much contact in between, or they are situational friends such as the friends I have made in college now that I’ve returned for a masters degree. They are usually friends during school but not outside of it.

I don’t have friends I can sit down with and discuss deep personal subjects with. I used to have closer friends but we’ve moved apart.

Interestingly enough, quite a few of my friends I would say are undiagnosed but on the spectrum, or diagnosed on the spectrum. I didn’t make an effort to befriend people specifically because of this, it just seems we fall into friendship by chance encounters. I’d say 50% of my friends are on the spectrum in some way, and 50% are NTs. I’m undiagnosed therefore I don’t tell anyone unless I know they are diagnosed.

To go back to the main topic, I would say a good way to meet people and make friends if you don’t have any is to go to get togethers and meetups that pertain to an interest you might have. I belong to meetups for ASD, photography, music, nerdy stuff, role playing games, and whatever else I think might interest me and help me meet like-minded people.


An arts class for developmentally disabled adults has been helpful - that is I've become acquainted with the arts teacher, and her aide (who are affiliated with our community college). I've mentioned the difficulties in locating additional social activities - as well as what might be helpful in developing new social venues in our community. I've asked about the possibility of developing creative writing programs.

I'm told, I'm correct in how difficult it is to find/develop activities which might "break the ice" so to speak concerning what is of active participatory interest regarding AS/HFA. I've also "hit the nail on the head" in finding that the best activities are very costly-- and at that, are too brief in duration e.g., two four-hour art classes to over two weekends $150!!

In addition to community collage programs, I've investigating sites like www.meetup.com - too many of our local community activities yield a sentiment of uncertainty, and even are questionable in values/objectives.

Keep searching for activities, and don't become discouraged!



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24 Feb 2020, 11:11 am

My sons care coordinator fwded me about camps for Aspergers adults in summer (she forwarded th sminformation last week) and they were for social n life skills... n o thought wow I could benefit from that... and it was ages thirteen plus which did not deter my interest..


then I saw the price is over one thousand dollars.

They lower it to seven hundred if u do fundraising among your family n friends for them.. how stupid.

If im joining a group to learn social and life skills would I have friends to raise funds from? And wd I be convincing enough and able to extract fundraising money from family? Weirdo

Not to mention special needs of any kind asd too. Increases chances of unemployment n poverty and not only that.


Also the caregivers lose more bcuz they attend too much n spend too much on their ASD family member as everything is overpriced when u attach ASD label..then the fact that for example my parents need to help with everything...n then would they have spare cash after all that?
So how can they rationally justify one thousand for a few weekly sessions . I guess these are for the ones whose parents were savvy and rich enough to afford an earlier diagnosis and help them more...


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funeralxempire
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24 Feb 2020, 1:50 pm

What do you do if you have no friends?

Post on WP, continue to fail to make friends.


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24 Feb 2020, 2:00 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
What do you do if you have no friends?

Post on WP, continue to fail to make friends.


*Hugs funeralxempire* :)


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funeralxempire
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24 Feb 2020, 2:08 pm

smudge wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
What do you do if you have no friends?

Post on WP, continue to fail to make friends.


*Hugs funeralxempire* :)


I've spent most of my life without friends, i'm not even sure i'd know what to do with them if I had any.
:oops:


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