22 Oct 2020, 12:31 am
22 Oct 2020, 7:30 am
elephantplushie wrote:
I have 3 friends at a distance. Two of them diagnosed aspies, the third has obvious aspie-traits. One of them I only rarely chat with because he has little social energy but we used to meet quite often before he moved even further. We send very long messages to each other though to make up for that. I still consider him and my other aspie friend my two closest ones.
The third friend I have contact with in periods. We stop talking for months then we get back in touch. We are still pretty close in the sense that we can tell each other anything.
I have 1 friend around where I live. He's an NT. I don't feel we vibe that well but he's a nice person and a good friend. I wouldn't honestly call us close though because we aren't nearly as open with each other as me and my other friends are. Our conversations are usually pretty shallow and I don't feel entirely comfortable discussing problems related to my diagnoses with him since he doesn't understand. He's supportive though.
I think it's hard to make friends. I never had a friend until I was 19 years old because I didn't speak in school, with anyone. Not sure why i've never come across anyone else who went whole days at school never uttering one word and I didnt get diagnosed until I was 21 so I didnt get any support. My ex was my best friend but eventually that didnt work anymore. He was NT so he didnt really get me either but he was a great guy. We were just incompatible.
I also don't generally vibe well with NTs because I want to be left alone most of the time and they dont get that.
The third friend I have contact with in periods. We stop talking for months then we get back in touch. We are still pretty close in the sense that we can tell each other anything.
I have 1 friend around where I live. He's an NT. I don't feel we vibe that well but he's a nice person and a good friend. I wouldn't honestly call us close though because we aren't nearly as open with each other as me and my other friends are. Our conversations are usually pretty shallow and I don't feel entirely comfortable discussing problems related to my diagnoses with him since he doesn't understand. He's supportive though.
I think it's hard to make friends. I never had a friend until I was 19 years old because I didn't speak in school, with anyone. Not sure why i've never come across anyone else who went whole days at school never uttering one word and I didnt get diagnosed until I was 21 so I didnt get any support. My ex was my best friend but eventually that didnt work anymore. He was NT so he didnt really get me either but he was a great guy. We were just incompatible.
I also don't generally vibe well with NTs because I want to be left alone most of the time and they dont get that.
Yeah I totally get you. I didn't talk much in school either and good work with remaining friends with your ex cause that's very challenging. NT's are super difficult people and I only really connect with people through music if they're interested but most aren't I have a friend where I live but I'm comfortable with him but as it's busy where I live I need quiet time to function if the day gets too much. 1 friend who lives about an hour away and another a lil further if he's still alive (figuratively speaking) as he never calls me back especially of late months.
Anyway I have to go find my friend and see if he's around downstairs of our building.
AspiePrincess611
Deinonychus
Joined: 5 Jun 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: at the Mountains of Madness
22 Oct 2020, 8:24 am
22 Oct 2020, 4:59 pm
22 Oct 2020, 11:42 pm
adromedanblackhole wrote:
AspiePrincess611 wrote:
It depends on the definition of "friends". Do I have "girlfriends" who I go shopping with and hang out with and who call me regularly? No. Not at all. I don't have male "friends" who do this either. I've never had any friendships of this kind that have lasted more than a couple months. For years I wondered why I had such a hard time understanding friendship and making/keeping friends. I thought I was the only one. So I did some research, and found out I was on the spectrum. It's comforting to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing. If I go places with anyone it's almost always a family member. I don't really have online "friends" either, although I (sometimes) enjoy posting and replying on WP. If you call neighbors and people you know from school, work, or your kids' activities, who you say hi to and talk to when you occasionally see them somewhere, "friends", then I have a few of those. I typically call those people "acquaintances" though. "Friends" to me means someone you speak to regularly and spend time with (online or in person).
To me a friend is someone who will share in your happiness when life is going well for you and console you when life is not going as well.
Usually activity buddies (group of girlfriends that go shopping etc etc) just like passing time with other people but I've found there's not really an indicator that these types of people really value you in any meaningful way. They just don't like doing things alone.
Where does one find such people? I'd you can find it have them.. I envy you!
23 Oct 2020, 12:02 am
23 Oct 2020, 12:07 am
AspiePrincess611 wrote:
It depends on the definition of "friends". Do I have "girlfriends" who I go shopping with and hang out with and who call me regularly? No. Not at all. I don't have male "friends" who do this either. I've never had any friendships of this kind that have lasted more than a couple months. For years I wondered why I had such a hard time understanding friendship and making/keeping friends. I thought I was the only one. So I did some research, and found out I was on the spectrum. It's comforting to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing. If I go places with anyone it's almost always a family member. I don't really have online "friends" either, although I (sometimes) enjoy posting and replying on WP. If you call neighbors and people you know from school, work, or your kids' activities, who you say hi to and talk to when you occasionally see them somewhere, "friends", then I have a few of those. I typically call those people "acquaintances" though. "Friends" to me means someone you speak to regularly and spend time with (online or in person).
Awwww.
Not even a skunky friend?
23 Oct 2020, 12:09 am
RLFriends can kill you, in this pandemic.
Do you *really* want them? 
23 Oct 2020, 10:23 pm
I have an “ex”-spouse (we live separately but I visit once or twice a month (purely platonic). Consider this a fragile friendship.
I have a nearly life long friend I felt very close to for years until I realized it was mostly one way. I still value our relationship. We don’t live close to each other so have long conversations on the phone about every other month. She is a faithful friend but wouldn’t inconvenience herself too much for me.
I have three grown children that have all moved away. I love them all and talk to each every couple weeks or more often. I would say they love me but I think we all enjoy our independence. They would come if needed.
I have very limited relationships with neighbors. They are decent folks.
I tremendously value my privacy and space but would like to meet a kindred soul to do occasional shared activities.
I think this sounds like something posted on a “find a friend” app.
I’m thankful for the members of wrong planet and consider this population as remote friends. Sometimes I come here when I’m feeling friendless and appreciate your faithful presence. 
24 Oct 2020, 12:00 am
beady wrote:
I have an “ex”-spouse (we live separately but I visit once or twice a month (purely platonic). Consider this a fragile friendship.
I have a nearly life long friend I felt very close to for years until I realized it was mostly one way. I still value our relationship. We don’t live close to each other so have long conversations on the phone about every other month. She is a faithful friend but wouldn’t inconvenience herself too much for me.
I have three grown children that have all moved away. I love them all and talk to each every couple weeks or more often. I would say they love me but I think we all enjoy our independence. They would come if needed.
I have very limited relationships with neighbors. They are decent folks.
I tremendously value my privacy and space but would like to meet a kindred soul to do occasional shared activities.
I think this sounds like something posted on a “find a friend” app.
I’m thankful for the members of wrong planet and consider this population as remote friends. Sometimes I come here when I’m feeling friendless and appreciate your faithful presence.
I have a nearly life long friend I felt very close to for years until I realized it was mostly one way. I still value our relationship. We don’t live close to each other so have long conversations on the phone about every other month. She is a faithful friend but wouldn’t inconvenience herself too much for me.
I have three grown children that have all moved away. I love them all and talk to each every couple weeks or more often. I would say they love me but I think we all enjoy our independence. They would come if needed.
I have very limited relationships with neighbors. They are decent folks.
I tremendously value my privacy and space but would like to meet a kindred soul to do occasional shared activities.
I think this sounds like something posted on a “find a friend” app.
I’m thankful for the members of wrong planet and consider this population as remote friends. Sometimes I come here when I’m feeling friendless and appreciate your faithful presence.
Hi, beady, I don't think we have met.
24 Oct 2020, 7:50 am
24 Oct 2020, 8:31 am
24 Oct 2020, 4:28 pm
Danusaurus wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
AspiePrincess611 wrote:
It depends on the definition of "friends". Do I have "girlfriends" who I go shopping with and hang out with and who call me regularly? No. Not at all. I don't have male "friends" who do this either. I've never had any friendships of this kind that have lasted more than a couple months. For years I wondered why I had such a hard time understanding friendship and making/keeping friends. I thought I was the only one. So I did some research, and found out I was on the spectrum. It's comforting to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing. If I go places with anyone it's almost always a family member. I don't really have online "friends" either, although I (sometimes) enjoy posting and replying on WP. If you call neighbors and people you know from school, work, or your kids' activities, who you say hi to and talk to when you occasionally see them somewhere, "friends", then I have a few of those. I typically call those people "acquaintances" though. "Friends" to me means someone you speak to regularly and spend time with (online or in person).
To me a friend is someone who will share in your happiness when life is going well for you and console you when life is not going as well.
Usually activity buddies (group of girlfriends that go shopping etc etc) just like passing time with other people but I've found there's not really an indicator that these types of people really value you in any meaningful way. They just don't like doing things alone.
Where does one find such people? I'd you can find it have them.. I envy you!
Over the course of your life you meet maybe 5 people who will be friends such as these
Frankly you find them when you're doing things that matter to you, things that are very close to your heart.
24 Oct 2020, 8:47 pm
AspiePrincess611
Deinonychus
Joined: 5 Jun 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: at the Mountains of Madness
26 Oct 2020, 1:57 pm
Pepe wrote:
AspiePrincess611 wrote:
It depends on the definition of "friends". Do I have "girlfriends" who I go shopping with and hang out with and who call me regularly? No. Not at all. I don't have male "friends" who do this either. I've never had any friendships of this kind that have lasted more than a couple months. For years I wondered why I had such a hard time understanding friendship and making/keeping friends. I thought I was the only one. So I did some research, and found out I was on the spectrum. It's comforting to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing. If I go places with anyone it's almost always a family member. I don't really have online "friends" either, although I (sometimes) enjoy posting and replying on WP. If you call neighbors and people you know from school, work, or your kids' activities, who you say hi to and talk to when you occasionally see them somewhere, "friends", then I have a few of those. I typically call those people "acquaintances" though. "Friends" to me means someone you speak to regularly and spend time with (online or in person).
Awwww.
Not even a skunky friend?
Sure, why not
And, of course, my cat. He's really my best friend.
AspiePrincess611
Deinonychus
Joined: 5 Jun 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 354
Location: at the Mountains of Madness
26 Oct 2020, 2:03 pm
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Hello looking for friends |
23 Mar 2024, 10:12 pm |
| Imaginary Friends |
15 Mar 2024, 3:42 pm |
| I dont have any friends my age |
17 Mar 2024, 1:26 pm |
| Should I feel bad for having few friends |
15 Apr 2024, 5:12 am |
