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Summer_Twilight
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30 Jun 2022, 1:22 pm

Scenario:

I would like to know if there is a certain type of mind game

- Person A invites a group of people to celebrate their birthday by inviting them to celebrate their birthday by going bowling
(Person B is supposed to be a close friend to person A but has met other friends who they make a higher priority, while person A is suddenly at the bottom of person B's list. This means leaving A out and never making time for them.)

- Person B person is invited to person A's birthday celebration but changes their story three times about why they can't make it

-The day of the event, person B texts person A and appears to give a sincere apology about not being able to make it,

-The next day, person A discovers pictures of person B going bowling with their new friends, which is also on the following day.



Fnord
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30 Jun 2022, 1:24 pm

"Let Them Down Easy" if the two bowling events occurred at the same time.

Not a mind game if the two events occurred at different times.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Jun 2022, 2:09 pm

Hi:
@Fnord.

However, I am talking about if person B says they are sorry but then plan the same activities with their other friends for the following day, while leaving person A out. During the next day?

1. Check in on on social media at a different bowling alley?
2. They take selfies with their other friends and post on social media?
3. They tag their other friends



Fnord
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30 Jun 2022, 2:14 pm

Perhaps another form of "Let Them Down Easy", if they do not like you but do not want to hurt your feelings either.

Sorta like a guy asking a girl to the high school football game, and she turns him down by saying she does not like football, but he sees her with another guy at the football game -- she did not want to hurt his feelings, but ended up hurting them anyway.



Last edited by Fnord on 30 Jun 2022, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Summer_Twilight
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30 Jun 2022, 2:57 pm

Fnord, thank you for your explanation, the continuation of the scenario

Person A is upset because they thought that person B was their friend and is fed up after B keeps letting them down and jerking them around.
- Person A is upset about seeing person B participating in the same activity the following day and unfriends them on social media.
- Person B accuses person A of being mean and hurtful for unfriending them and asks why
- Though person A attempts to tell B that they feel like they have too many other friends, person B then blocks A.
-A few hours later, a close friend of person B, who went bowling, attacks A and accuses them of taking their anger out of their new friends because B has other people to hang out with and suddenly demonizes them.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Jun 2022, 2:57 pm

Fnord, thank you for your explanation, the continuation of the scenario

Person A is upset because they thought that person B was their friend and is fed up after B keeps letting them down and jerking them around.
- Person A is upset about seeing person B participating in the same activity the following day and unfriends them on social media.
- Person B accuses person A of being mean and hurtful for unfriending them and asks why
- Though person A attempts to tell B that they feel like they have too many other friends, person B then blocks A.
-A few hours later, a close friend of person B, who went bowling, attacks A and accuses them of taking their anger out of their new friends because B has other people to hang out with and suddenly write person A off as if they are a bad person.



klanka
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30 Jun 2022, 4:05 pm

I would have to ask person A if B has been a close friend for long, how does B make A feel other times? Did they argue in the past? Has B displayed anger issues?

It couldve been that B got the idea to go bowling from A but obviously doesnt like A anymore.

OR B is just trolling/provoking



Kitsuna
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01 Jul 2022, 7:39 pm

Person B was the person from the other thread that started getting flaky before this right? Sounds a bit like they're taking Person A for granted rather than actively playing some kind of mind game. Agree with Fnord that they were trying to let Person A down easy.



Mona Pereth
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04 Jul 2022, 4:27 pm

I wonder if what's going on here may have something to do with groups rather than just the individuals involved. For example, are Person B's new friends all part of the same religious (or professional, or whatever) group, but person A is not in that group?


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KMCIURA
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04 Jul 2022, 4:48 pm

Sometimes people get tired of other people and want to spend less time with them. Usually, the friction builds up but people mostly lack courage to come out straight and tell you "I am tired of you, need a break".

Let them go and see if they'll come back to you or if they'll gravitate even further, eventually ceasing all contact with you. You cannot force someone into friendship.