Is interacting with Neuro Typical Humans really worth it ?

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lazylizard
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30 Jun 2022, 8:20 am

Hi,

just wondered if interacting with NT Humans is really worth the hassle.. Initially they seem interested, friendly & interactive, sadly though this seems to be a facade in 99.9% of the cases... Now it could be im incredibly unlucky where I live, a small city with a small town mentality or it could be a common NT Human trait.. This acting they do at the start I cant help but feel offended by it as it appears insincere and disingenuous all to gather information for the purpose of gossip and once gathered they then say hello when passing and don't talk to you again lol

Some of them are very good actors, and even though ive been taking in many times if they appear friendly and under the guise of 'this one might be genuine' thinking I let my guard down and open up to them which of course is foolish im aware of that only to be let down again... Does anyone else have these 'groundhog day' problems?

I might just stick to my collies now it seems a lot less hassle & my collies seem to have a lot more integrity and sincerity than most of the NT humans I have interacted with..

Thanks & take care

Lazylizard



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30 Jun 2022, 8:40 am

They seem to be in the majority.  They own the businesses, they make the laws, they run the governments . . . there is no way to avoid interacting with NTs.  The alternative -- not interacting with NTs -- would mean either avoiding people entirely or creating an aspies-only enclave (a.k.a., a "Ghetto") well away from any NT community.

How do you feel about living in the desert?



magz
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30 Jun 2022, 8:43 am

You can't avoid interacting with NTs - you need to go to stores, offices, etc. - but you can give up trying to fit in or please people at your own expense.


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Joe90
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30 Jun 2022, 9:05 am

Not all non-NTs are Aspies only.

I don't really have the "NTs are all the same, don't like their communication styles and rules, can't stand them and don't want to interact with them" mentality that some Aspies here have, they're just people to me, humans just like me, and I go by whether somebody's an as*hole or not, not whether they have autism or downs or no disability or whatever.


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lazylizard
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30 Jun 2022, 9:12 am

Thanks for your prompt reply..

Yeah I know they are the majority I think I was meaning trying to be open and honest and friendly to them.. This seems a very flawed and rather pointless behavior on my part as their response and behavior change from them seems to be same in 99.9% of them.. The thing that fascinates me the facade, the disingenuousness then the forced contrived smile when you pass them they seem to be oblivious to, are they even aware that they are being disingenuous? Perhaps they are and they simply don't care, their view on morality and integrity seems to move with their mood & can change in an hour, a day, a second..

Through my countless interactions with them they seem for the most part devoid of any introspection at all & hence they seem unaware they are being led by their egos which in my experience are hyper sensitive and one word, or one glance can trigger them to feel uncomfortable or to change how they view you...

In the desert ? tbh if most of the NT humans are like the ones ive interacted with then if I had food, and water and maybe some collies I would tolerate that as I loathe insincere people which the majority of NT humans seem to be..

im aware they are not all the same but in the ones ive interacted with they do share some behavioral commonalities that cant be disregarded... 8O



rse92
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30 Jun 2022, 9:14 am

If you are contemptuous of NT people, why do you question why NT people are contemptuous of you?



lazylizard
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30 Jun 2022, 9:21 am

rse92 wrote:
If you are contemptuous of NT people, why do you question why NT people are contemptuous of you?


who's contemptuous? that's a big assumption.. im merely observing behavior nothing more and asking if its worth it... my opinion is really irrelevant here... Im not the one being disingenuous or dishonest they are..



magz
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30 Jun 2022, 9:32 am

lazylizard wrote:
Yeah I know they are the majority I think I was meaning trying to be open and honest and friendly to them.. This seems a very flawed and rather pointless behavior on my part as their response and behavior change from them seems to be same in 99.9% of them.. The thing that fascinates me the facade, the disingenuousness then the forced contrived smile when you pass them they seem to be oblivious to, are they even aware that they are being disingenuous? Perhaps they are and they simply don't care, their view on morality and integrity seems to move with their mood & can change in an hour, a day, a second..
I don't think it's a problem of morals.
It's a problem of culture. NTs naturally follow cultural scripts of interaction - or rather autistics don't naturally follow them, we either miss it or need to do it conciously. Anyway, NTs don't need to give much thought to this because they feel their culture as obvious and natural, nothing to even notice.
If your culture requires smiling and looking into the eye when interacting, NTs do it as part of being polite. It's not disingenuous, it's rather a script, a ritual of your culture, just like a bow would be in another one.


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rse92
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30 Jun 2022, 9:36 am

lazylizard wrote:
rse92 wrote:
If you are contemptuous of NT people, why do you question why NT people are contemptuous of you?


who's contemptuous? that's a big assumption.. im merely observing behavior nothing more and asking if its worth it... my opinion is really irrelevant here... Im not the one being disingenuous or dishonest they are..


"Through my countless interactions with them they seem for the most part devoid of any introspection at all & hence they seem unaware they are being led by their egos which in my experience are hyper sensitive and one word, or one glance can trigger them to feel uncomfortable or to change how they view you...

"In the desert ? tbh if most of the NT humans are like the ones ive interacted with then if I had food, and water and maybe some collies I would tolerate that as I loathe insincere people which the majority of NT humans seem to be.."



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30 Jun 2022, 9:38 am

rse92 wrote:
lazylizard wrote:
rse92 wrote:
If you are contemptuous of NT people, why do you question why NT people are contemptuous of you?
who's contemptuous? that's a big assumption.. im merely observing behavior nothing more and asking if its worth it... my opinion is really irrelevant here... Im not the one being disingenuous or dishonest they are..
"Through my countless interactions with them they seem for the most part devoid of any introspection at all & hence they seem unaware they are being led by their egos which in my experience are hyper sensitive and one word, or one glance can trigger them to feel uncomfortable or to change how they view you...

"In the desert ? tbh if most of the NT humans are like the ones ive interacted with then if I had food, and water and maybe some collies I would tolerate that as I loathe insincere people which the majority of NT humans seem to be.."
Yup.  Looks like contempt to me, as well.



lazylizard
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30 Jun 2022, 9:58 am

[/quote]Yup.  Looks like contempt to me, as well.[/quote]

of course you would tribal affiliation even in aspies is strong lol

rather than actually just stick to the logic and look at this objectively its easier just to say im 'contemptuous' .. are you sure you have aspersers?



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30 Jun 2022, 9:59 am

I would say it's well worth interacting with NT people and anyone else for that matter.

I think it's also important to understand that most people have an agenda so as long as you don't take it all too seriously then you'll do OK.


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30 Jun 2022, 10:08 am

lazylizard wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Yup.  Looks like contempt to me, as well.
of course you would tribal affiliation even in aspies is strong
Is that a slam against my Native-American heritage?



rse92
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30 Jun 2022, 10:36 am

I have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I guess i would say, what choice do you have other than deal with neurotypical people?



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30 Jun 2022, 10:49 am

rse92 wrote:
I have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.  I guess i would say, what choice do you have other than deal with neurotypical people?
To not deal with them -- not the easiest or most effective choice, but an alternative choice nonetheless.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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30 Jun 2022, 11:45 am

lazylizard wrote:
just wondered if interacting with NT Humans is really worth the hassle..


It depends on the depth of interaction.

Long ago before I was diagnosed autistic, gossip sessions and parties were declined simply because I was not interested, they were not fulfilling to me.

Even so, I did participate in model rocket and model train clubs, until declining physical health ended that ability.
I just participated in the parts of the overall which gave me what I wanted and avoided the other parts.

I'm the only autistic person in our local creative writers group and again, I participate in the parts I want and skip the rest.

With conscious, deliberate, curating of which parts you get involved in, yes, interaction can work.


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