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Making Friends (Part 3)

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ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 6:12 pm

An high functioning autistic guy at a day program I work is upset that he can’t be around or go to groups with a staff member who is a young woman he likes anymore. How do I deal with that?



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:14 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
An high functioning autistic guy at a day program I work is upset that he can’t be around or go to groups with a staff member who is a young woman he likes anymore. How do I deal with that?

How old is he?

Why is he not allowed to be around her? Was he making sexual advances?

Have the reasons been explained to him yet?


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 09 Jan 2023, 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 10:16 pm

1) He’s 26. He’s almost 27.
2) He was going to her groups all the time.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:26 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
2) He was going to her groups all the time.

Why was that a reason for him not to be allowed to go to her groups anymore?

What would be wrong with "going to her groups all the time" if he wasn't making sexual advances, or trying to ask her out on a date, or otherwise trying to erode her professional boundaries?

Or was he doing any of the latter things? Was he, for example, staring at her a lot and thus creeping her out?


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ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 10:28 pm

He was eroding her boundaries.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:29 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
He was eroding her boundaries.

In what specific ways? What, exactly, was he doing wrong?


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 09 Jan 2023, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 10:29 pm

Asking her personal questions.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:32 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
Asking her personal questions.

Were any attempts made to get him to stop asking her personal questions before it was decided that he would not be allowed to attend her groups anymore?


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- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 10:33 pm

I did.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:35 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
I did.

What did you say to him, and how did he respond?


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ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 10:36 pm

Please, limit asking her personal questions. He said that he’ll stop but he pretty much didn’t get it.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 10:59 pm

ivyeight6 wrote:
Please, limit asking her personal questions. He said that he’ll stop but he pretty much didn’t get it.

Have you explained to him that the reason he's not allowed to attend her groups anymore is because he persisted in asking her personal questions, after he was asked not to do that?


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- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


ivyeight6
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09 Jan 2023, 11:01 pm

Yes. I did. He constantly worries he might do the same to other staff members.



Mona Pereth
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09 Jan 2023, 11:59 pm

I notice that you've posted several similar threads:

- Leaving Group
- Making Friends (Part 2)
- About Computers
- Asking Staff Member

Are these threads all about the same person, or are at least some of them about different people at your day program?


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- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


ivyeight6
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10 Jan 2023, 12:01 am

It’s the same person.



Mona Pereth
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10 Jan 2023, 12:07 am

ivyeight6 wrote:
An high functioning autistic guy at a day program I work is upset that he can’t be around or go to groups with a staff member who is a young woman he likes anymore. How do I deal with that?

Are you also a staff member there? If so, what is your exact position, or job title, there? What kinds of things are you responsible for doing, on that job?


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)