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Summer_Twilight
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08 Sep 2023, 10:25 am

Being that we autistics tend to be a target group for narcissistics and can't always read cues, I thought that this article would be a good one for the "Social skills and making friends" forums. It could also apply to Love and Dating but since I am not allowed to post twice. Reading this, helps me understand when I have been manipulated.


https://narcissisthunters.com/what-is-n ... dcrumbing/


For example, I used to be friends with someone who was more overt narcissist. She led me around about being her maid of honor for a last-minute wedding. When I talked to her about it on the phone, her details were vague and all over the place. She also proceeded to ghost me for a few weeks, while really making plans to get married at the courthouse. Moreover, she told me that her family planned a small reception afterward but didn't know the details and would text me an invitation. When I told her that I was mad at her, she got really nasty.

If you read the article, her behavior seemed to fall in the category of bread-crumbing



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16 Sep 2023, 4:49 am

We can try to avoid narcissistic people. There seems to be more of these now than ever as if it is spreading. I am not sure why that would be happening though.



Summer_Twilight
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17 Sep 2023, 2:02 pm

I am wondering if it's because this generation happened to be raised by narcs. According to most psychologists, narcissistic traits develop based on one of two factors in childhood.

They are either spoiled and accustomed to being the center of attention all the time or their parents constantly abused them and said there is something wrong with them. Additionally, narcissists are very insecure individuals with fragile egos but they are too proud to admit it.

As for the bread crumbing and false promises, all of that is just to make the individual feel better about themselves. They don't care if they leave a trail of tears, rather, all they care about is they get their supply.



funeralxempire
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17 Sep 2023, 2:47 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I am wondering if it's because this generation happened to be raised by narcs.


Evidence please?

Quote:
As of 2018, overall prevalence is estimated to range from 0.8% to 6.2%. In 2008 under the DSM-IV, lifetime prevalence of NPD was estimated to be 6.2%, with 7.7% for men and 4.8% for women, with a 2015 study confirming the gender difference. In clinical settings, prevalence estimates range from 1% to 15%. The occurrence of narcissistic personality disorder presents a high rate of comorbidity with other mental disorders.


How could an entire generation be raised by only a small portion of the population?

Imagine if people just labelled every awkward stranger as autistic, and then insisted they were all that way because they were all raised by autistics. You'd recognize that as foolish and ignorant.

Quote:
Evidence suggests there is a high heritability of NPD, with a number of genetic influences indicating varying rates of heritability based on subtype. A number of twin studies historically suggested for the heritability of NPD, including personality disorders in general.


Since narcissism is highly heritable, did narcissists suddenly become far more successful at reproducing?

That seems unlikely.

Most people aren't narcissists and if one's experience is that most people are narcissists, odds are that it's a them issue, not an everyone else issue.

The friend you describe legit sounds like she'd count, but the idea that they're suddenly more prevalent seems completely unfounded and like you're just labelling people who don't benefit your interests as narcissists.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Sep 2023, 2:50 pm

What do you consider to be "this generation" ?

My kids are in their 20s and I'm as far from a narc as you could get. I did one of the tests here and scored something like 0 or 2 on the whole test. Their dad is diagnosed NPD but they had no contact with him so he didn't shape their personality. I don't know anyone else my age who is diagnosed NPD or even has signs of clinical NPD.

Are you using the term loosely?


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KitLily
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17 Sep 2023, 3:15 pm

I think it's social media that's made all the narcissists come out of the closet or made people become more narcissistic. Whatever year it was that social media emerged, suddenly everyone had their own platform to spout all their ideas, collect followers, get likes and upvotes, all nicely shown in statistics. So people started deliberately posting things they knew would attract attention, more and more and more. Probably blogging sites also added to this- people can go into even more detail on blogs and even make their own communities with themselves as the guru/leader.

Thanks for the article btw!


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Last edited by KitLily on 17 Sep 2023, 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

babybird
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17 Sep 2023, 3:17 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Being that we autistics tend to be a target group for narcissistics and can't always read cues, I thought that this article would be a good one for the "Social skills and making friends" forums. It could also apply to Love and Dating but since I am not allowed to post twice. Reading this, helps me understand when I have been manipulated.


https://narcissisthunters.com/what-is-n ... dcrumbing/


For example, I used to be friends with someone who was more overt narcissist. She led me around about being her maid of honor for a last-minute wedding. When I talked to her about it on the phone, her details were vague and all over the place. She also proceeded to ghost me for a few weeks, while really making plans to get married at the courthouse. Moreover, she told me that her family planned a small reception afterward but didn't know the details and would text me an invitation. When I told her that I was mad at her, she got really nasty.

If you read the article, her behavior seemed to fall in the category of bread-crumbing


Did you end up going to the wedding or not


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Sep 2023, 3:54 pm

Hi Babybird, no because they went to the courthouse and got married. She also told me that she was going to renew her vows at a much later date which never happened. We are not friends anymore and haven't been in years, rather, I used her situation because I was talking about bread crumbing.

Isabella, it seems like this day and age, the attitude is all about, "Me, Me, "Me." Also, someone else brought it up.

Maybe they aren’t narcs, maybe it’s the way people sometimes act



funeralxempire
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17 Sep 2023, 4:26 pm

KitLily wrote:
I think it's social media that's made all the narcissists come out of the closet or made people become more narcissistic.


I think you're looking at it backwards, people are much more aggressive with applying that label to others, not that narcissists are actually more common.


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KitLily
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18 Sep 2023, 7:42 am

funeralxempire wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I think it's social media that's made all the narcissists come out of the closet or made people become more narcissistic.


I think you're looking at it backwards, people are much more aggressive with applying that label to others, not that narcissists are actually more common.


Maybe so, but social media has definitely brought out the narcissism in many, many people. What did influencers and other media personalities and celebrities do before social media? Keep quiet.

I remember when Twitter arrived. People were laughing, saying 'why would anyone be interested in reading about what I think 24/7?'

Now posting our thoughts online is normal. But is it healthy or natural? No. Thoughts are fleeting things, they go in and out of our minds, they aren't meant to be written down.

But here we are posting our thoughts 24/7 in big streams of consciousness.


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funeralxempire
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18 Sep 2023, 7:45 am

KitLily wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I think it's social media that's made all the narcissists come out of the closet or made people become more narcissistic.


I think you're looking at it backwards, people are much more aggressive with applying that label to others, not that narcissists are actually more common.


Maybe so, but social media has definitely brought out the narcissism in many, many people. What did influencers and other media personalities and celebrities do before social media?


You know what they did, acted the same way on a smaller stage. Subjected the people in their lives to the same s**t they subject the world to online.


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KitLily
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18 Sep 2023, 7:50 am

funeralxempire wrote:
You know what they did, acted the same way on a smaller stage. Subjected the people in their lives to the same s**t they subject the world to online.


Yes, and now they have the whole world as their stage because it's so much easier with social media, they can gather millions of followers, show off more and more and more and more. They've shown the world that anyone can be an influencer and do the same. So the number of influencers etc. is increasing...

I often wonder if it would be better if the internet had just been left as a big library, and people couldn't use it to communicate. We'd have to communicate in the real world instead. But it's too late now :?


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funeralxempire
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18 Sep 2023, 7:55 am

KitLily wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
You know what they did, acted the same way on a smaller stage. Subjected the people in their lives to the same s**t they subject the world to online.


Yes, and now they have the whole world as their stage because it's so much easier with social media, they can gather millions of followers, show off more and more and more and more. They've shown the world that anyone can be an influencer and do the same. So the number of influencers etc. is increasing...


That doesn't mean narcissism is becoming more common, only the number of so-called influencers. But, to assume they're all narcissistic is unreasonable.

All it does when that label is applied broadly and baselessly is to water down the definition of narcissist to the point it's meaningless.


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babybird
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18 Sep 2023, 12:57 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Hi Babybird, no because they went to the courthouse and got married. She also told me that she was going to renew her vows at a much later date which never happened. We are not friends anymore and haven't been in years, rather, I used her situation because I was talking about bread crumbing.

Isabella, it seems like this day and age, the attitude is all about, "Me, Me, "Me." Also, someone else brought it up.

Maybe they aren’t narcs, maybe it’s the way people sometimes act


I seem to remember having a "friend" with a similar disposition as your so called friend. I just used to call her a fair weather friend. She used to drop people as soon as someone better or useful came along. I wouldn't have called her a narc though.


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Summer_Twilight
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18 Sep 2023, 3:04 pm

Oh no this person is more than a fair weathered friend because

1. Everything was always about her
2. She always had the need to be right all the time
3. She's was the victim
4. I was always someone else's fault
5. I recently stumbled upon her Tiktok account and she used those videos to get attention
6. She made and broke a few promises to me.
7. She lacks empathy for how she treats others
8. If she doesn't like you, then she thinks it's okay to be hateful to those people
9. She's controlling
10. She thinks that she's better than everyone else