Anyone else struggling to meet friends since the pandemic

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passionatebach
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16 Apr 2024, 2:19 pm

Is anyone else having issues with meeting friends since the Covid-19 pandemic? Do you also feel more disconnected from people?

I am pretty active in my community and it feels like I am struggling to meet close friends since the pandemic. I also feel kind of disconnected from people. While I have met a number of acquaintances, I haven't met a close friend yet, sans for one person (and that friendship feels like it is faltering). Maybe I am just not involving myself in the right places or there is something about me that is off putting to people. Does anyone have any advice on this?



DuckHairback
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16 Apr 2024, 2:45 pm

Yes. Well actually I've been on a gradual path to friendlessness for many years, being naturally avoidant of socialising in general, then starting to work from home so no workmates, then having a kid so all free time disappearing!

But I did used to go to a writing group before covid that broke up and there is just nothing to replace it. People don't seem to have started things like that back up again. It's a shame.

What I did a few weeks ago was join a facebook group for over-40s socialising in my area. Turns out there's lots of people in the same boat. In honesty, most of it is pub meetups and other things I'm not going to do because i don't drink or like pubs and i tend to clam up in larger grouos, but there's 2 or 3 people going for a walk on thursday and I'm thinking that seems manageable so I'm going to give it a try.

Maybe there's something similar in your area?


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passionatebach
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16 Apr 2024, 3:43 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
Yes. Well actually I've been on a gradual path to friendlessness for many years, being naturally avoidant of socialising in general, then starting to work from home so no workmates, then having a kid so all free time disappearing!

But I did used to go to a writing group before covid that broke up and there is just nothing to replace it. People don't seem to have started things like that back up again. It's a shame.

What I did a few weeks ago was join a facebook group for over-40s socialising in my area. Turns out there's lots of people in the same boat. In honesty, most of it is pub meetups and other things I'm not going to do because i don't drink or like pubs and i tend to clam up in larger grouos, but there's 2 or 3 people going for a walk on thursday and I'm thinking that seems manageable so I'm going to give it a try.

Maybe there's something similar in your area?


That's one thing I am doing see if I can meet new folks. Things like a dinner group that meets at a different locally owned restaurant every week, things at the local spirituality center, an LGBTQ board game night that kind of thing. Even though I have met some nice folks, still not meeting whom I am looking for.



DuckHairback
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16 Apr 2024, 4:21 pm

^I don't know about you, but I find I like the idea of meeting people a lot more than I like the reality of it. I find most people disappointing and uninteresting - that sounds terrible and very judgemental and maybe it is. Maybe I am.

But I have met people in the past whose company I have really enjoyed and whose friendship has enriched my life. So I know they're out there, there just doesn't seem to be very many of them.

I think it's probably how I'm wired. I liken it to music, for example. I never really understood why people listen to music they don't particularly like. Like on the radio. Why would anyone listen to the radio all day playing music they would never choose to listen to themselves? I only listen to music that really moves me, which is a tiny percentage of available music. But i know lots of people do spend all day listening to music they're not that bothered about. I can't do that, for whatever reason.

And maybe it's the same with people. They need to fall into that very narrow definition I have of what constitutes an interesting person. A very personal definition that I can't even explain to myself. Otherwise I'm just not interested.

I think i have to try though because I'm just spending more and more time alone and it's getting harder and harder to socialise.


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bee33
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16 Apr 2024, 10:58 pm

I don't think that the pandemic has had a particular effect on me in that area, but I always find it hard to make friends and connect with people. I think all you can do is keep trying. One way to make a connection is to show that you are interested in knowing about the other person. Ask questions (without prying) and then really listen to the answers, and ask more questions. Reveal yourself by talking about your feelings and thoughts. I know this is easier said than done, and I struggle with it myself. In the moment I just feel awkward and uncomfortable and I can't think of anything to say.



Yugoslav1945
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28 Apr 2024, 11:58 am

COVID-19 Pandemic is what destroyed most of my social life. Even when I tried to regain, the post-pandemic damage is too great. Not only it isolated me but it changed people ultimately. The fact a neurotypical can regain themselves after the pandemic is applauding to me. How did I not get to have that? Why does the pandemic punish those who are neurodivergent? It's an outrage! An OUTRAGE!


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