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poopylungstuffing
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06 Dec 2007, 3:20 pm

I have this problem where I will absolutely freeze up around certain people.
They inspire fear and panic in me for no good reason...and there is very little I can do to um..curtail it..other than do my best to avoid them.
Anyone else have issues like that?



The interraction that spurred this thread is our creepy neighbor who is always coming around.
He was lurking around on our back patio supposedly looking for Brian or Louie this afternoon, and I yelled at him to stop creeping around here during the day.
I yelled because I panicked...he accused me of being rude..when he was trespassing on my "territory"....sometimes he will enter the house without knocking...
I HATE having this person come around..I feel so invaded by him. It is bad enough when he comes around at night...and always tries to talk to me when I KNOWS that I DO NOT like talking to him...if not trying to talk to me, he is making irritating noises near me...

I am not the only one who is irritated by his presence. My friend who also has neuro- issues....has explained that the reason he gives him the creeps is that he is "overly familiar"....and flakey does not like him either....so it isn't just me...

But there are other, much more benign people who will inspire similar reactions in me...It is something I would like to control a little better.



UnfoldedCranes
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06 Dec 2007, 3:26 pm

I think you should lock your doors. Yikes.

Besides your "territory," he's trespassing on your private property. Or someone else's property, if you're renting. Either way, you are well within your rights to tell him to leave -- and if he doesn't, to call the cops.

Rude? Sure. But there's nothing wrong with being rude to people you don't like and don't want around.



poopylungstuffing
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06 Dec 2007, 3:34 pm

Yeah..I locked the doors...Somtimes when I am puttering around doing housework, I will be going out and in so the patio doors will be unlocked...if ever there is an unlocked door on the premisis he is sure to come through it.
I hate living in fear of this person. He has really done nothing to me besides constantly and deliberately irritate me and invade my space and constantly act like he is entitled to do so... :?

Other people who I am phobic of have done less to bother me...



SilverProteus
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06 Dec 2007, 3:34 pm

UnfoldedCranes wrote:
Rude? Sure. But there's nothing wrong with being rude to people you don't like and don't want around.


Yeah, though I always feel a wave of inevitable conscience-eating remorse after I've been rude to someone, even if it's someone I no longer like, sometimes it's the only way of getting the messaqe across.


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Last edited by SilverProteus on 06 Dec 2007, 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sepia
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06 Dec 2007, 4:06 pm

poopy,

you're just too nice! you seem to feel that you should want to treat this person as warmly as you would anyone else. but if he creeps you out, i don't think you should ignore that fact. why can't he use the front door like anyone else?

the more beneign people - i understand that one, sometimes my housemate brings her mates home from the pub and because they are tipsy they cannot be quiet. i only ask that i am given some warning and that there is no partying on a work night! if i can anticipate it, i can work around it and try to arrange a time when i can catch up on sleep as i cannot sleep with almost any noise in the house.

sepia



poopylungstuffing
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06 Dec 2007, 5:17 pm

I just think that if I were more able to um...not allow this person to intimidate me, it would take away some of his power...and he seems to know he has it too..and uses it...

that way I couldn't allow him to ruin my evenings with his obnoxious presence and disrupt my mental tranquility



sepia
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09 Dec 2007, 7:18 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I just think that if I were more able to um...not allow this person to intimidate me, it would take away some of his power...and he seems to know he has it too..and uses it...

that way I couldn't allow him to ruin my evenings with his obnoxious presence and disrupt my mental tranquility


i know, i get psyched by people sometimes. in fact most of my mates are waay more tolerant of or should i say resilient to a***holes than me.

can you elect your partner or other housemates to act as bouncer for you?