the dangerous contradiction - mind games and social skills

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Does anyone else get really confused with mind games?

My trouble is sometimes the only way for me to communicate with someone is to get through deeply. I have really limited social nowhow yet I can get through to people this way with little effort.

I find that my tone of voice get wildly mixed up in straight ahead conversation and even saying something with simple intentions easily twists into something entirely different without me knowing i've actually done it and unsettled who i'm listening to.

This causes me major problems and people will never understand where i'm coming from, it kinda feels dangerous too

yep. the mind-game/honesty/social-game... always a problem.

and i also HATE when guys go around saying they are sick of mind games and they want a girl that doesn't play mind-games, because that is just a LIE, and they really do.

people saying, "i hate mind-games" is usually a mind game.

the last time i was desperatly trying to explain this to someone, and saying how all the rules and the games are all crazy, they just cliched me and said, "uh... the game is called LIFE."

i swear i almost became a serial-killer right then. stupid f****r.

I think that because we have to put so much thought into socializing, a lot of Aspies tend to fall into the trap of over thinking thier motives. It comes so naturally to NT's that if we are planning things out to that extent in our heads we must be working to manipulate the situation to our needs. Add to that the intense self evaluation we are prone to and we can drive ourselves crazy.

Although I have very poor natural socializing skills I make up for that with a vast database of human reaction, I've spent most of my 30 years investigating the human sciences. Because I can manipulate with ease I often worry that I am doing it all the time. In truth, I'm not playing any mind games at all, when I want something I am up front and on the table about my needs. I just think too much.

Learing NT social skills can be done but it is brutally expensive, you have to insurance, and know the right people. Right, my thearpist is teach me how to do small talk. It is hard but it comes much more natural.

Basically AS is disorder that needs to coached extensively to overcome. You have a good job and know the right people to get the coaching that I need.

I always see /hear people talking about mind games, i know some guy who is always complaining about this in girls he meets , but i really don't understand what this all is or mind games means and he never explaines, could someone say what this is?

Mind games really annoy me as they're a waste of time and it doesn't help at all especially the poor neurodiverse person like me, I've learnt over the years to understand these things but as a young one I couldn't understand them.

Some people tell white lies to avoid hurting someones feelings and sometimes this is ok depending on the situation but there are times where one should be honest and truth be told some ADDers are total shockers when it comes to mind games....I'm not sure if it's the ADD and unintentional or whether they just do it for the reaction and attention

Selena

Does anyone else get really confused with mind games?

My trouble is sometimes the only way for me to communicate with someone is to get through deeply. I have really limited social nowhow yet I can get through to people this way with little effort.

I find that my tone of voice get wildly mixed up in straight ahead conversation and even saying something with simple intentions easily twists into something entirely different without me knowing i've actually done it and unsettled who i'm listening to.

This causes me major problems and people will never understand where i'm coming from, it kinda feels dangerous too

i hate it when peeps screw around with your head.

many family, friends, wife etc over the years have become aggressive and accuse me of the "MIND GAME" thing, so after years of trying to work this out, I am at wits end. I have had massive difficulty trying to fathom when, and especially how I actually do this MIND GAME thing, I can only speculate that there's a hidden ability of seeing through people (me guessing) I am blind to most social interaction, but some how I have an ability to say things to people that make them angry, even my lack of saying things, get the accusations flowing.

Most people I think assume because I can have so called intellectual conversations, they conclude that Im very clever, then assume I am very nasty because I say things that really annoy people (NT).

I am only trying my best to communicate.
Has anyone advice, on how to manage this, I can sense subtle hints of NT aggression, but by this time its too late