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Lene
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12 Jan 2008, 2:27 am

A couple of days ago, I told a friend of mine to shut up during a biochemistry lecture.

The lecture had started & we were in sitting fairly near the front, where the lecturere could probably hear us. The lecturer was talking about some pretty hidious biological experiments (involving decapitated rat pups) and I was fairly upset (not visibly, though, just gritted teeth). My friend, who knows I'm vegetarian starting asking 'how do you feel about this? Would you rather experiment on humans than animals?' and so on... He's a lovely guy, but has a tendency to chat during lectures, which I don't mind but am conscious of how excrutiating it is to sit near people having a conversation when you're trying to concentrate... so I said 'shut up'. And felt guilty immediately. I apologised immediately & then after the lecture, but I think things have been awkward since... or possibly I'm more paranoid than usual. I don't know... He's one of the only people I've met who describes me as 'easy to talk to' (8O) & I like him loads, so I really don't want to lose him as a friend... anyone know how I should remedy the situation? :(



Shayne
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12 Jan 2008, 6:08 am

i think you're ok

it was during a lecture, you were trying to concentrate, he was disturbing you

at this point he is putting you in an uncomfortable situation and not feeling guilty about it

you told him to shut it up

now he should realize that his talking is unwanted

if he is a friend then in his mind the reason that you told him to shut up shouldnt be that you never want to talk to him ever

could be that after you told him to shut it up, he then realized that he was bothering you at the moment and felt sorry

if he was really offended by this a simple apology and explaination should solve things, its not like you really did anything to hurt him

after that, if he cannot get over this then his attitude is pretty disrespectful to you and maybe hes not such a lovely person that he seems

if he seems shy to talk to you - make efforts to talk to him and see if he eases up



SleepyDragon
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12 Jan 2008, 7:56 am

Probably best not to dwell on it too much. Sure, it's not the most diplomatic thing to say "shut up!" to somebody, but you've already apologised. Be relaxed and friendly with him; chances are he'll reciprocate.



Lene
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12 Jan 2008, 7:28 pm

Thanks SleepyDragon and Shayne... I think I might try and talk to him on Monday & explain that it was the content of the lecture that made me lose my cool, not him... I'll do my best to appear relaxed and friendly :)