Can't Make Friends But Used to Be Popular

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truck1214
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 13 Aug 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

12 Jan 2017, 3:02 am

Hi guys would it be okay if I am still a member even though I have not been diagnosed with aspergers? I have add adhd and slow processing speed though and sometimes I am socially akward.

The thing is I sympathize with those with aspergers. When they are teased it makes me see red rats. I regret in middle school not standing up for kids with aspergers when they were teased.

People diagnosed with aspergers seem like kind down to earth and humane people :).

As of now I have trouble making friends as well.

So here is my backstory I have been very popular in high school (even homecoming king) but my highschool friends have moved away.

My non-high school best friend of 8 years left me. I am furious but hey wad do i do?

My best friend from childhood and I hang out but for some reason it becomes less fun so we separated. (unofficial)

This Christmas break I am building a forum which I am happy with doing but I wanted to see friends from my college like go to a movie.

I called some classmate aquantences and asked them out to a movie. But they declined. I am upset and a bit angry.

now i just spend my christmas break watching king of the hill, listening to country music, and building my forum.

I wanted to hang out with friends in addition to those activities.

My dad is old fashioned and said i had to know the aquantences longer in order for them to go to a movie with me. btw we worked on school projects and went to ice cream once in the school cafeteria.

What is so repulsive about being invited to a movie i mean its not like im trying to date those guys btw lol (im a guy btw)

My dad then said to join lotsa clubs to meet people.

But that is too much work i don't wanna join clubs. i just wanna hang out with a friend or two. plus i get good grades in school and need to sacrafice 16 hours a day to my school work and have no time to go to so stupid college clubs.

i am angry though because all the college kids are havin' fun with their friends while i am sitting on my bed like a doofus watching hank hill sell propane lol :)

plus when school starts my dad will herd me around college to stupid clubs. i mean i just wanna chat and go to a movie with someone or play video games together.

What do I do?

-frustrated



jatos
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

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Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 24

13 Jan 2017, 8:38 am

Firstly your dad needs to leave live your own life a lot more from the sounds of it, you don't need him endlessly hovering around when you're at college, you're becoming an adult for goodness sake.

On the other hand, looking at clubs is worthwhile. However you don't need or want to be in every single one, just those that interest you most. If need be say to your dad, he make an input, but ask him to understand, that ultimate choice is yours!

Generally, replacing social connections can take time - its often not easy, but popularity comes from building up connections over a length of time, unfortunately, it can mean that if you mess up, it take some time to 'rebuild'. Can I ask, is your college mixed sex?

As I have said previously elsewhere, another big thing is taking time to try and understand different people! Peoples personalities can vary greatly, not everyone is the same! Be weary of generic BS advice about to succeed socially that treats everyone as the same.

Most important thing is at this stage of life you need to focus on working on yourself, improving your skills and talents. You will not succeed long term in life if you don't. Do not be the loser who hasn't achieved anything ten years down the line.