Problems meeting new girls...

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I know there have been posts like this in the past but I'd rather make a new one than bump an ancient one. I'd prefer not to have any hate posts here, directed at women or just people in general. If you have had so many social problems that you just ignore or hate all people\women, please refrain from posting. This will be a thread dedicated to people sharing experiences of improvement or success with the opposite sex.

I have a problem with women, obviously. I've had many girlfriends in the past, all NT. The main problem in those situations was lack of compatibility and\or they were sluts, which I'm not interested in. Only one of my relationships ended because of me being an idiot. I've almost always met my girlfriends through other friends, which seems the best way to meet girls, starting off on an already positive note, but I have lost most of my friends to drug addictions, and have one or two good friends left.

My main issue, is meeting new girls from scratch. How the hell do I approach them? In the past couple months I've had four encounters I can remember. Two of them were simply a girl walking by and giving me a look, so I'd just look back and smile while they walk away. Another situation, I got the courage to compliment a girl on a tattoo on her calf, but right after that my mind went blank, couldn't say anything, and she walked away. The last one, a girl walked up to me, amidst many other smokers, and asked me for a lighter. I let her use it then she stood there, looked away, then walked off, while my mind was so empty I couldn't say a word.

Seems every time my mind just goes blank and I'm like Oh God...What do I do, What do I say? I've been doing better in social situations this past month since I've been going to counseling, but when a girl becomes involved, it's almost like I shut down. It's not anxiety per se, since there's no sweating\heart rate increases, etc. It's just like I freeze... My counselor suggested I force myself to make small talk, but that's no good when there's nothing I can come up with. Forcing yourself probably has a lot to do with it starting out though. Any ideas, suggestions, or ways you guys have overcame this?

How closed minded. I'll refrain though.

Sometimes the interpersonal is difficult to do. Have you ever tried Facebook? That can be an easier way to talk to people. Anyone could probably easily set up a blind date on it.

Don't fall for easy traps, and go base entire dating life on online "relationships" with strangers.

Just remember, women get offers by men all the time, so why would any woman have to go online to find a man, unless she's got a lot issues, or just an attention whore.

I can tell you, going up and trying to small talk to random girls you don't even know, and hoping it might lead to something is very unlikely.

Why do you think most people have relationships at work, even though their is a big risk of getting fired. It's because your around these people, and so get the chance to get to know them, and thus it leads to something if their is a mutal attraction.

My friend rencetly started dating some girl that worked at a coffee shop. He use to go their daily to get his coffee, and chatted with her, eventually to point where he was comfortable to ask her out. Of course she didn't reject, because he wasn't just some dude off the street asking her for her number. He also got to know her enough to know she didn't currently have a boyfriend, and was interested in similar stuff he was.

Absolutely. Although that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep all your options open. If you're in college, odds are the majority of everyone there is on facebook. Facebook is useful for figuring out names, if you forgot, scoping them out, and figuring out the relationship statuses of the opposite sex. You'd definitely want to talk to them first. Odds are, most of them will be ho-bags, but the good thing is, you only need to find one that isn't.

I just threw facebook out there as something to consider, if he hasn't tried it already. It's not perfect by any means, but it should widen the pool.

If you want a relationship, you have to try and be the best person you can be, and be in situations where you will meet new people, hopefully while doing things you like. There are a lot of messed up people out there, and getting into a bad relationship is far worse than being single. Relationships worth having just happen. Constantly looking for one, and needing someone to validate you just sets you up for failure and problems. I know because I have watched people do this and have felt that way myself. Best of luck.

also I second the online thing. Avoid it. You need to just be interacting with people offline, and eventually, some single girl will be interested in you. It's the only way.

couldn't have said it better, agree 100% on that point of view.

well spoken, space!