Why do people lie so much?

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This is really frustrating. I'm getting kicked out of the room that I'm renting at the end of the month. To make things worse, I've only been here for two weeks so far.

My roommate is almost never here, and we've interacted very few times. The only negative interaction that I could think of was when he woke me up at around midnight (talking loudly, using the garage door as the front door... repeatedly), and I asked him to be quiet.

He was talking about issues with his family (which are probably true, since he told me about them before I even started renting), and he used that reason as the reason why I need to leave at the end of the month.

HOWEVER, the reason is a lie, since there was someone over last night to interview to rent the unoccupied room in the house. Huh? If you're actively trying to rent out the other room (to someone outside the family), why do I need to leave because of these family issues?

A lot of people don't like me. I can accept that. But why not give a REAL reason instead of a baldfaced lie?

I've also learned enough to not confront him about it (I don't want to give him a reason to make the last month miserable), but I'm unemployed (he knew that when he rented to me), and it's going to be hard to come up with a big deposit payment at the next place.

The job hunt is going nowhere, and unemployment is screwing with me (he doesn't know this)... I'm scared that I'll have to live with my parents again. The few friends that I have are here in Albuquerque, and they're in Silver City.

I'd ask for the partial month back/and any deposit and tell him farewell.

Screw anything else with relationships or "am i being dumb" .. or "is he being dumb".... worrying or caring causes unneeded stress.

Living out of your car is both dangerous and stupid, but beats being stuck in a bad situation... lol.

Because it is part and parcel to lifetime NT training. It just doesn't "take" as well for Aspies, so it leaves us somewhat more than flummoxed...

Because:

They can.

It gives they a sense of power.

It gives them control over the situation.

They're arrogant, mean-spirited, egotistical jerks.

Enuf Sed?

I don't think it's about power. Standing up for yourself and being upfront about a person's shortcomings is power right there. I think lying is just a self-defense mechanism we use because we're afraid of that power and any consequence that might come with it (i.e. the recipient coming back and torching the place.) Then again, it could be anything.

It sounds to me as though he told you a lie in order to not have you annoyed at him, rather than because of some power play. Assuming he wants you out because he doesn't like you (which seems likely), he probably felt it would make your leaving easier/more pleasant for him if he were to say "family issues" instead of "You need to leave because I don't like you."

I ask that question all the time. The only logical reason I can come up with is that society is composed mainly of a**holes and I wish God would take and hurl this entire planet into the sun! Of course I'd want him to remove the good people first! (I highly doubt I'd be among them, but hey!)

25 years ago, I became really good friends with a couple people. I recently got reacquainted with them after loosing touch with them for about 15 years. They invited me to their house then after that started making all kinds of stupid excuses when I'd try to get together with them. Finally, they're like "Leave us alone". I ask what it was I did that made them so mad at me and all they could saw was, "well...um....duh.....uh..."

I'm soooooooo sick and tired of society!

Your roommate sounds like an a**hole. NTs and their stupid games...

Maybe you should leave a parting gift just before you move out, like a dead fish in his mattress.

People whitelie to avoid retaliation and to keep being on your good side while they have you on their bad side. That's a one-up, an advantage.

I think it's just cowardice. They're too scared to say to your face how they really feel. They lie to avoid direct conflict.

Unfortunately being lied to is worse for me than hearing the truth. It's patronizing and just makes me really want to smack the person in the face. The hard part is getting these people to know that they're not fooling me without a major angry conflict.

I've come to love it when they do this. There's a saying in Spanish: "He who leaves without being kicked away, comes back without being called." (in Spanish it rhymes) It means that if you don't show them you're angry or upset when they treat you like this, one day they'll invariably come looking for something from you - and then's when you give back as good as they gave you, lie to them in the same way that they lied to you: in a way that the person knows they're being lied to their faces but can't accuse you because they did the same to you before.

Eg: There was this woman who lied to me that she was sleeping and that she'd call me back when she got up - and never called me again. After that, each time I met her in a group event I'd act all nice and happy to see her. A few years later she called me asking for help to get a job at the company I was working for. I told her I was finishing dinner and would call her immediately after. She got the message, but what could she say? She had done the same to me. (Of course, I never called her back.)

It's not about revenge, it's about teaching people to think twice next time before they pull this s**t onto others.

Almost every human word or action is compensatory - try and find out what they're compensating for.

You're absolutely right, just that I always hated the "white lie" thing. A lie is a lie and only cowards need a nicer name for it to ease their conscience.



This is very important - no matter how you decide to do it, it's just crucial to let people know they can't walk all over you and, as you say to change their habits a little.

I feel the same about the white lie, the only case i'm still at a dilemma would be to lie to a person you like in order to ease their passing.... ><

Phil, that's what white lies used to be for. But nowadays the concept has been corrupted to include "lying each time truth would put the other person against me".

Seconded.

I don't think it has anything to do with him personally not liking you. He's just out to cover his sorry ass in whatever means "necessary". On the whole, by lying it sounds like he has a guilty complex....ie feels guilty for doing this but....

Be interesting to know who that person was and how much they were offering... $$$