When a friend says that space is needed

Post Reply New Topic

So I have this friend who happens to be two years older then me & asked to study with her. She declined because she felt that she was behind at the time. Then again the week of my exam she disappeared & when I told that she didn't say anything. Then again when I ran into her she told me she was studying at home (that was after she deleted her facebook profile seemed to disappear on me so I tried to find out where she was (or if she left)). I then saw her yesterday & she told me that she needed to breathe I told her that I just wanted to study & that all I wanted. This was not in private she had her friends around & I just told her that we'll talk later. Can someone explain what that actually means when a friend states that they need breathing room?

This sounds really harsh. It is a polite way of saying that they really don't want to be with you. Usually when people say "I need space" or "I need breathing room", it is because they are nice, non-confrontational and wanting to tell you (without hurting you) that they really don't want to be your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend.
Sorry

usually asking for space means a person is overwhelmed and needs to be alone. it may have nothing to do with you. or she may have mis-read your intentions to be a study buddy and thinks maybe you want to date her. she clearly doesn't want to date you right now but i'm not convinced needing breathing room is about you. sometimes we shut down because we're over-stressed and we can't figure things out.
hopefully she will be kind enough and mature enough to explain it once she mellows out.

I think she really misunderstood your intentions. Maybe you ony feel good in her company, but she thinks you are in love with her for example. It usually happens because we don't make any calculation when it comes to approaching people. You got too close to her and she didn't like it. It has happened to me many times, looks like i cannot keep a friendship.

A way to improve this issue would be to show her you are not too interested. Don't be too obviuos, or it will just get worse.

Thanks everybody

I think I'll just let her be for right now this is medical school I'm talking about & I don't want to be kicked out. I think that is the best situation. I did try to explain to her that all I wanted was to study as colleagues but like was stated maybe she misread my intentions but then again it is just one person & I have bigger things to take care of (like exams ). I'll keep everybody informed but for now time to call it a night.

wow, medical school!! !! that's a huge acheivement and burden, i imagine. don't waste another minute on her. she's just stressed out...and actually sounds quite unkind.

ptown you have hit that nail right on the head when you stated that medical school is a huge burden. I figure that I will just leave her be but I also know that in the profession of medicine there will be times where I have to work with colleagues or patients that I don't wish to work with but must. Consider this another form of training courtesy of medical school where we not only study the body but also the mind as well (that is what I'm looking for I wish someday I can link my brain to a computer (or find out how much processing power is in a network of human brains linked up).

Well, for one she was annoyed that you were not taking her hints. Usually if a girl says they are "busy" that is a nice way of saying no thank you. You really shouldn't had pushed the issue with her.

Yeah maybe I shouldn't have pushed the issue with her but then again logically it was mutually beneficial for both of us & I made it clear that is all I wanted nothing else. However, the issue is settled & we have basically gone our separate ways. Then again since when does logic actually play a role in this case?