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Dandelion
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04 Apr 2009, 1:06 pm

I have mixed results, meeting other aspies. A couple of them have ended up being very close friends. But often I find other aspies difficult to be around, because they remind me how I look to others, which can be painfully embarrassing. I am working on being more tolerant, but I have not perfected it yet :oops:



mechanicalgirl39
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07 Apr 2009, 2:45 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.


Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.

I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.



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07 Apr 2009, 3:32 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.


Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.

I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
Um some of us are on the verge of craziness in some cases self loathing and maybe psychopathy. But thats not all of us.


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07 Apr 2009, 4:13 pm

TheLonelyGamer wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.


Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.

I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
Um some of us are on the verge of craziness in some cases self loathing and maybe psychopathy. But thats not all of us.


Sorry....don't get you....us? AS'ers or NTs?



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07 Apr 2009, 4:27 pm

Can say it like this: I have problems talking to normal people, but geeks, nerds and "alternative people" are more easy because they dont start talking about sports and crap tv shows like it was the most important thing in the world and so called "anti-social" people are in my opinion more social than normal people - it is all an opinion of perspective.

Example: One of my friends can just come over, talk a bit, then we sit in the couch watching Discovery channel for a few hours without saying more than a few words. And afterwards we can talk for hours about what we saw, or any other tech/scientific subject that may come up - I LOVE that.

People who chitchat/just talk because it is expected in social situations or "is the norm" does not exist in my social network.

As for specifically aspies, i only know of one and there have been no problems, probably because we are both over 30 and share many of the same intrests.


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CrinklyCrustacean
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07 Apr 2009, 4:27 pm

From the context, Aspies, I think.



mechanicalgirl39
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07 Apr 2009, 4:59 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
From the context, Aspies, I think.


Oh right...

I didn't mean AS'ers don't have issues or anything like that. Hell as an AS'er I know we have plenty of problems.

I meant that, as people, AS'ers seem to behave in less f****d up ways towards others. Less judgmental and less complicated. Whereas a lot, though not all, NTs are very judgmental....some seem to really like having someone to put down and classify as 'enemy' or 'different.'



TheLonelyGamer
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07 Apr 2009, 7:23 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
TheLonelyGamer wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

Yes I'm very lucky, but if it's any consolation the more I've read over the last 3 days, the more I've realised that there is still an underlying discomfort for socialising. It's not that I don't like socialising, I love it in fact, but having to learn all these rules just to do it with NTs gives an unnatural edge to the whole thing.


Same here! I hate going into a social situation wondering how I should behave. Especially as so often I've been with a group and made an ass of myself because I broke about a million unspoken rules without even knowing they were there. I've often just decided to shut up so I won't look like an idiot.

I know only 2 other AS'ers, and I feel waaaaaaaaaaaaaay happier talking to them, because I don't have to try and put on a veneer to act 'normal'. I'd like to know more AS people. They actually seem a lot saner and less messed up to me than most NTs are.
Um some of us are on the verge of craziness in some cases self loathing and maybe psychopathy. But thats not all of us.


Sorry....don't get you....us? AS'ers or NTs?
i knew a few NTs that ended up worse then me mentally lasi I heard ones a sociopath.


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07 Apr 2009, 7:29 pm

Violence seems to define those with Asperger's more than neurotypicals, unfortunately. Usually it's directed at us instead of by us, but that doesn't mean we can't be monsters too.



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07 Apr 2009, 7:32 pm

Dentu wrote:
Violence seems to define those with Asperger's more than neurotypicals, unfortunately. Usually it's directed at us instead of by us, but that doesn't mean we can't be monsters too.
Well I am Bi Polar


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Sea_of_Saiyan
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07 Apr 2009, 7:35 pm

I don't know any people who I know for a fact have been diagnosed with Asperger's, so I can't make a judgment on this matter.

As far as I know though, it seems a lot more difficult to hold a conversation with certain aspies online because the people I tend to add are the types that just respond "yeah" and "ok" to everything I say without contributing anything to the conversation at hand.

Other aspies have become great online friends to me however and are great conversationalists. Then again, so are the NT's I know online.



TheLonelyGamer
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07 Apr 2009, 8:43 pm

Sea_of_Saiyan wrote:
I don't know any people who I know for a fact have been diagnosed with Asperger's, so I can't make a judgment on this matter.

As far as I know though, it seems a lot more difficult to hold a conversation with certain aspies online because the people I tend to add are the types that just respond "yeah" and "ok" to everything I say without contributing anything to the conversation at hand.

Other aspies have become great online friends to me however and are great conversationalists. Then again, so are the NT's I know online.
Well everyone does that unless you get to know them most ppl just dont give a damn about you and rather talk with ppl online they know IRL. I am an Aspie but I do try to add my 2cents into conversations I know im well versed in or Iv done a good amount of reading into.


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luchog
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08 Apr 2009, 1:43 am

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
I meant that, as people, AS'ers seem to behave in less f**** up ways towards others. Less judgmental and less complicated. Whereas a lot, though not all, NTs are very judgmental....some seem to really like having someone to put down and classify as 'enemy' or 'different.'

That definitely hasn't been my experience. In fact, some of the must judgemental pricks I've ever dealt with have been Aspies. Then there is the added bonus of the obnoxious twits using their AS as an excuse to be just as rude and disruptive as they could get away with

Also regarding the "us vs. them" attitude, I see a bit of that here, with the AS vs. NT thing. Maybe being new, my perception of this is exaggerated; but I have seen explicit calls for seperatism from a few.

As far as interacting, I don't experience a significant difference between AS and non-AS people when I'm not familiar with them. I have a very hard time interacting with strangers, regardless of who they are. AS and non-AS people present slightly different challenges. Although I do share similar modes of thought with AS people, their obsessions are not necessarily mine; and I can get just as annoyed at their non-stop talking and social cluelessness, just as others get annoyed at me for mine.

People are people; and everyone has their individual quirks. I'm more interested in someone who is rationally-minded, intelligent, and shares my interests; and get along better with them regardless of whether they're AS, NT, Bi-Polar, OCD, or whatever.