"What's wrong?"

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This is essentially another version of the "you're so quiet..." thread. Not only do I get told about my taciturn nature by others, but to this very day, by my own family who should know better by now, I get asked "What's wrong?" or "Are you pissed off?"

My only conclusion is that whenever I am highly focused and thoughtful, my facial expression gives off hints of anger. That is of course never the case when a family member asks me this. I may appear angry on the surface, while internally I am content.

Are there any other Aspergians who experience this?

Absolutely! I've been told I look furious and unforgiving when really I was just trying to figure out what the next step was in an elaborate ritual.

Whenever I concentrate, trying to figure something out, paying very close attention to what someone is saying because I'm having a little trouble processing the words, sorting stimula, my brow creases.

Many, many people have decided I have a lot of repressed anger, and I'm in denial about it. Puh-leeze!

When I'm really good and PO'd, my face goes blank... they don't know that 'cause I just don't get angry that often.

At least your family is asking rather than making uninformed judgements, deciding you're not safe and scapegoating you for their paranoia.

It was not always like that. Over the course of years, I had to get the message across that I would act like a responsible adult around them if they gave me the benefit of the doubt. The transformation of our parent and offspring dynamic was so gradual that it's impossible to say which came first... though I would like to think it was them extending me the benefit of the doubt.

Let's face it...
it's really, really hard to train family NTs, they just won't take responsibility for their actions.
{voice dripping with sarcasm}

You are to be congratulated for having made some inroads into their ritualistic and rigid behavior.

Now if I could only decode their facial expressions...

I always got,"you always look so serious!"

Apparently I always look miserable. It's really not intentional.


When I actually am miserable or upset, people generally don't notice a difference so I'm not bothered - which can be good and bad. A little attention or sympathy is sometimes nice.

I was once told I looked like I was angry enough to kill someone and another acquaintaince responded "Oh, she always looks like that when she's tired."

I apparently look depressed and melancholic when I stop forcing body language. And no matter how often a neurotypical sees my face devoid of obvious emotion, they always assume I'm actually depressed and melancholic. Would it help if I put on a silly hat any time I was just thinking to let everyone know I'm alright?

my family always asks me this and while its annoying, ive learned to deal with it. usually im deep in thought when they think im angry

I get people asking me "are you alright???" when I'm perfectly fine, I say yeah and they're like "you sure?" and I'm like YESS!

Been there, done that.

Bill Hicks joked about this.. he said "i've got one of those faces, people i don't even know come up to me out of the blue & say things like "what's wrong?" & "you know it takes more energy to frown than is does to smile" " people are laughing by now, myself included & he says in respone " yea, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? get the f*ck outta here"
well i don't know if that helps but it tends to "cheer"me up

I've got a naturally miserable looking face, and am told to cheer up when I'm not feeling particularly sad about anything.

Apparently I look sad a lot of the time. People come up to me sometimes and ask if I'm okay, I say yes, they ask if I'm sure, I say yes, they ask if I'm /really/ sure...it's so obnoxious. Of course nobody's ever done that when I actually am sad.

My school counselor thinks that something is wrong with me. So do others. But I just get that look when I am thinking deeply and concentrating! I'm really not angry!