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Zerostanzi
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 25 May 2009
Age: 31
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Location: Oklahoma

09 Jun 2009, 4:04 am

I don't really have any friends either, except for my cat. I suppose it's because I don't make friends easily and I prefer animals to people.



Tory_canuck
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Joined: 8 Jun 2009
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Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

09 Jun 2009, 7:00 am

GoatOnFire wrote:
I have 0 friends. Don't even have the excuse of not being in college because I am at college. People just don't take to me for whatever reason.


I am in the same boat.Nobody in college really wants to hang out with me.The only people who really talk to me and such are my teachers and the bartender at the college bar.



EarlPurple
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 55
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Location: London, UK

09 Jun 2009, 12:23 pm

I am married and so maybe my wife is a "friend" but other than that, I do not feel I have any real friends, although there are people who will turn up if I have an occasion to celebrate, for example when my son was born I had a "Shalom Zachor" and not nearly as many turned up for it as I would have liked but there were some who came, and far more than that came for his circumcision.

We are occasionally invited to people's son's Barmitzvahs but rarely to weddings other than close family.

During my younger days (primarily my 20s) I didn't have many people to go out with although there were times I got into a "crowd" that didn't mind me going to the pubs they would go and sitting with them so then I felt I had a group of friends.

I have a female friend who I met online and have occasionally met up with. She is a lot younger than me (well 16 years younger but old enough to look after herself!) and just a friend but it is nice when we do meet up.

I have thought that maybe it would be great to meet other Aspies as we could link up on our commonality and maybe be "friends" although they would have to understand my "rules" and I would have to understand theirs. In particular they must not come out in sandals.



legionsdad
Raven
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Joined: 18 May 2009
Age: 45
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Posts: 101
Location: Cali

09 Jun 2009, 12:39 pm

I need freinds... I have my wife and my 18 month old, zero friends. I don't even talk to my family, moved 3000 miles away. I just found out about my aspergers about a month and a half ago. Alot of things are making more sense. Please hit me up for stories or questions.
ex-army paratrooper



Barbarossa
Sea Gull
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Joined: 27 May 2009
Age: 32
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Location: England

09 Jun 2009, 12:41 pm

I have a couple friends online from sites like here

But zero IRL

Kinda annoying, but whatever :eew:



EarlPurple
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 55
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Location: London, UK

09 Jun 2009, 5:28 pm

Online is more "comfortable" in some ways. Although even online I have upset people at various sites.



gramirez
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Location: Barrington, Illinois

09 Jun 2009, 5:41 pm

I have 0 friends, if you're taking away the online people.

Why would you want friends? Just more people to make your life miserable over time.


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Greentea
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10 Jun 2009, 10:27 am

EarlPurple wrote:
In particular they must not come out in sandals.


What?! Why not? You wouldn't be able to have any Israeli friends then, because it's so hot here we can't stand anything else on our feet from May to October.


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EarlPurple
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 4 Jun 2009
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Location: London, UK

10 Jun 2009, 3:18 pm

Greentea wrote:
EarlPurple wrote:
In particular they must not come out in sandals.


What?! Why not? You wouldn't be able to have any Israeli friends then, because it's so hot here we can't stand anything else on our feet from May to October.


That's nonsense, I have been to Israel and there are loads of people not wearing sandals and I wasn't wearing them when I was there in May 2008 and in June 2001 and June 2002 and the whole summer of 1984 which I don't believe was any colder than any recent ones in spite of "global warming".



Greentea
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10 Jun 2009, 3:36 pm

:roll:


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SlayerOwnz
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 11 Jun 2009
Age: 24
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Posts: 30
Location: Australia

13 Jun 2009, 12:04 am

I have no true friends except one, he acts a lot like me :D. But I'm in a world of my own most of the time.



13 Jun 2009, 2:39 am

All have is acquaintances.



stevens2010
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 7 Jun 2009
Age: 67
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18 Jun 2009, 8:54 pm

This place is breathtaking, every time I come here. It's like stepping into the place where the little secrets of social ineptitude are openly discussed.

Married, but zero friends, like the majority here.

I'm well on my way to accepting this, because I always enjoyed being alone, except when I felt lonely. Which I did when I was younger, a lot.

Decades of self-help books, adopting formulas for "social talk," being "interested in others," and all the rest, just like most of you. This gave me an uncanny ability to discern bad motives in people, even when the NT's don't see it until it's too late.

On the other hand, none of those books or grand plans to become "normal" changed the fact that I am "weird." I lost my stage fright, and turned it into a pretty good talent for making people laugh. Not a real stand up comic, but in a group I can at least make "weird" fit in.

But friends, well no.

After almost 60 years, it's starting to make sense. I like being alone. I don't enjoy socializing. My wife doesn't either, which works out very well.

This will be no consolation for the younger folks. I understand this. There is no substitute for friends, when you aren't sure of yourself. Being sure of yourself only can come when we either get PO'ed with the world or just realize that we aren't inferior or defective.

The worst part about not fitting in is the working part. Being around people who don't really like us, just to make a living. God, I can't wait to retire. I couldn't get somebody to do me a favor if my life depends on it. It's a good thing aspies are smart, because that's what I use to make it in the world--my brains to be self sufficient. There are things about being an aspie that are well-designed...



Ana54
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26 Jun 2009, 10:58 am

I had 0 friends for as long as a year sometimes. Then for the longest time I had no friends but the people on webboards I went to.



jefe
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 4 May 2009
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Location: Maine

26 Jun 2009, 2:58 pm

Yup, sign me up for the Friendless club.

All aboard the Ghost train to Ghost town that is my life!


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catwuver
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28 Jun 2009, 8:25 pm

Cicely wrote:
Outside my family, my only friends are cats. There are a couple people at school I talk to sometimes, but I don't really consider them my friends.


Thank goodness!! ! :D Finally, someone like me! Speaking of which, I am taking the younger one (four months old) to his first cat show. At least I have something in common with the humans there. I just hope that he likes it. I think I'll be sad if he doesn't do well because I had to retire my other kitty because she didn't want to be there anymore. Most people find me on the eccentric side when it comes to my love of cats.