Aaargh! I don't wanna go to rugby!

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One of the security guards at my building befriended me after a theft from my flat.

I often make tea for him when I get home. He's new to town so he really appreciates having someone to talk to.

Now he's decided that he'd like to do something nice for me, so he invited me to go out with him on Saturday evening to watch the rugby. It's a big match between the Blue Bulls and... well, I don't know who the other team is, but they are from Australia, I think. (All White neurotypicals in South Africa would know.)

I am not really interested in rugby, but I like watching if it's my old high school that's playing, or if I am with some friend who can make astute analytical comments about the game. I'd even go to a big match as a kind of research experience.

But I really don't feel like going to watch a game on TV in some place where normal people usually do this kind of thing. I won't behave like they do, in spite of the fact that I could fake it perfectly well if I was some kind of under-cover agent. He thinks he's doing me a favour. "I want to make sure you get out a bit," he says. The thing is, I do get out; he just doesn't know that I do. If I am not going out it's only because I have been emotional lately, or working long hours. In fact, I must work over the whole weekend this week. If I had the time, I would go to visit my parents, or go dancing, or play chess.

He seems to think he must rescue me from loneliness and isolation. But I don't feel lonely! Ughhhh... somehow I am going to have to tell him that he would not be doing me a favour by taking me out to watch rugby, and that if he really wants to please me, he can challenge me to a game of chess. I hope I don't hurt his feelings.