I just dont know what to do! Please help.

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Well this story goes back to elementary school .... I believe it was the fifth grade. I was being bullied by some guys in my grade. After a while I don't know what happened before that but this kid wrote a letter to me saying she sorry I was being bullied and that she wanted to be my friend and be friends with her other friends. I hug out with them to avoid the bullying and avoid being alone Over the years we ate lunch together and we '' hung out'' during recess. (That just being 'there' 'feeling comes to mind:Now fast forward to freshman year of high school in the beginning of the year I decided to take drama (I don't remember if it was because they were in it or not) there is one person in pictuclir in my group that gives me a bad feeling .. she's not always or obviously mean but when where're eating in the lunch room and im trying to talk to someone she tells me to shut up or tells me that im taking to myself. The other people in the group will not say anything ( except one who said something rarely). I just brushed it off at first until one of the people I met in drama saw what was going on and told me to stand up for myself and that she didn't really mean it but I just couldn't do it. Then sometimes she would point out my flaws. This went on while until today the thing in the lunch room happened again and it hit the final straw when she told me to move over if I was going to talk to myself. I tried to stand up for myself but I couldn't do it. ( All I could make out was ''Im done with this " and then I walked to the bathroom. A little bit later I over herd two familiar voices talking ( All I could make out was ''She left'' so I assumed they were taking about me) I deiced to leave so I flushed and came out of the stall ( And sure enough it was two kids from drama). They asked me if I was ok and I started " I know she doesn't mean to but " and was interrupted ( but not in a mean way) One of the kids told me she did mean it ( I think they said something like she does it to everyone but I don't remember) and told me not to take it personally, Later I met the girl who I mentioned earlier ( the one who told me she didn't mean it). told me she was wrong and she actually did mean it. Then she mentioned she didn't think some of the people who I hang out with really were my friends and may or not be like her but couldn't identify who is real and who is fake. She also told me to stand up for myself or at least tell the drama teacher. ( But she wont tell her with me because she's best friends with this person). I tried to back out of telling her but she was insistent. ( she said if I keep letting her do this to me it will just get worse) So I did tell the teacher but now I feel so alone, I don't know who wants to be my friend and who doesn't and I don't know who to trust. After the lunchroom incident I ignored the group but I see them all the time and I have class with some of them and we all have drama together. Every time I see the group together and I have to ignore them it makes me want to cry . Im starting to wonder if any one there likes me. Without our group I feel empty and hurt, helpless, and alone witch was why I hung out with them in the first place. They were all I had and now I have nothing. I cant avoid them forever and I don't want to hurt anyone who might actually like me or want to be my friend. But I don't want to be a pushover. What should I do?

Something very similar to this happened to me in high school.

I would eat lunch with a group of girls, but there was this one girl who would not let up on me, she was awful, she belittled me, made fun of me, told me I was ugly, and pointed out any tiny flaw or mistake, she some times became physical hitting me with things or throwing things at me.
So one day I just had enough and did the same as you and walked off, she then took the opportunity to turn every one in the group against me, I spent the rest of high school alone.

With the benefit of hindsight I wish rather than walking off I had just told her to shut the hell up, probably wouldn't of worked but it would have felt good.

You could either, see if you could talk to one of the other girls (one that you trust) away from the others to get her opinion on what's going on and maybe get her to call this girl out on her behaviour. See if you could hang out with the other girls from drama instead, or just try to ignore her (I know easier said than done).

Don't know if that helps, high school a pain in the ass, but it doesn't last for ever.

you weren't wrong to tell your teacher. but it was not the strongest thing you could have done for yourself and without strengthening your own position in the group you will only get so far trying to go around the issue. Im saying this to help you. I hope you don't take offence. I'm sure it was nice to get the letter from a friend in elementary school but that is an unusual way for help to come, and you will only get so far if you are waiting for solutions to come in from others because it just doesnt happen that way usually.

First thing you should remember: Those who peak in High School Peak too soon and spend the rest of their lives trying to catch up. There are better things ahead of you. School is about doing well in subjects and cultivating your mind first and social dynamics second.

1)If you think you cant live without being in the group. you will have to handle the instigator that is giving you a hard time. I generally dont advise confrontation but if there is truly no choice I offer the below advice to help you survive and prevail. Always consider if you could be better off without the group.

2)If the bully/instigator has ever done anything that indicates real harm or real danger to you beyond hurtful verbal remarks, leave it alone. it is not worth it. go the other direction. there are better things to be concerned with. seek distance. focus on your homework. get away.

To counteract the bullying you will have to take command of the interactions. Control the time at which your interactions begin by either NOT answering her quesiton or. Starting the conversation before she does. Have ALL INTERACTIONS in the presence of your peers. Avoid any one on one situations with the person. Do not answer ANY of her questions unless she MAKES you. Us aspies have a knee jerk reaction to instantly answer every question and address everything that is said to us. DONT. just ignore. She is not your boss so you do not have to say anything to her. If she asks you a question, you can turn to somebody else and ask them a question. YOU RUN THE SHOW. Keep talking to someone else or keep doing something POSITIVE. If she is insistent and wont leave you alone, Steer it to always a POSITIVE subject even if it seems awkward or not fitting the question. You may have to work really hard to come up with positive things in the heat of the moment. but that's ok. breathe. take the time YOU need for YOURSELF. don't answer until you have the right POSITIVE response. You take control. return an insult with a compliment. Do NOT fight or antagonize. the more you can steer the interactions towards something positive, the better it will be. People who are dominant understand dominance so you have to embody dominance with your body language and with the subject matter that you choose to accept in the conversation. By choosing positive subject matter you are exercising a soft positive form of dominance.

The key to getting along with people is to understand them. By focussing on your fear and your distaste of the situation, while valid, you are keeping the focus on yourself and thereby losing the game with the person. The negativity in her life comes from a large pool of negativity that that person is probably trying to get relief from. You may never win with the person but your best chance is to make them realize that you are a source of something good that they can access when they are around you. The more you can find out about the instigator/bully, the more you can find out what they like and what would disarm them. You need to genuinely research the person for things they like and then offer those things. Buy her a milkshake. Offer her literally anything that you know she likes.

You could try every day to instigate a conversation with her before she has time to start messing with you and ask her "so seen any good movies lately" or something else positive. Just control all the interactions.

If you counteract the bully, one of two things will happen. the instigator will follow your lead into better pastures, or the bully will get more and more antagonistic to the negative side. the more negative they become, the easier it is to expose them for who they are to the peers around them. Do not accept any invitations to physical abuse or fighting. if they get to the point of fighting. that is when you step out. but you should do it in the group with peers and witnesses to see the strength of your position. the more negative and out of line they become in the company of your peer group the worse they will look to all of your mutual friends.