Who has DESPERATELY tried to fit in at times in their life?

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I used to try way way too hard, I'd try to be like the populars but ended up looking like a compltete div. And I used to say rude things because everyone else seemed to but I ended up just sounding wrong, I even tried to "pick" on a few people but that never worked and I just looked like I was trying to be something I wasn't.
Now I don't really care and just do what I want.

When I was a teenager, I was fairly hyperactive/gregarious...and I was sorta part of a large group of people who ate lunch together who were bonded by the fact that they were all different and didn't really fit in anywhere else...and anyone who sat with us automatically fit in...it was a utopian island of misfit kids...and we were so much more interesting than the rest of the cafeteria, that lots of people joined us..So it wound up that there would be cheerleaders sitting next to Honors-G/T kids..sitting next to poor trailer park metal-heads sitting next to European exchange students--sitting next to role-playing game kids--sitting next to gothy-post-punkers...and so-on..my classification at the time was unclassifiable weird girl who sang in rock band...I guess I was trying to fit in at the time as I had finally achieved some level of acceptance..but my social skills/development were way behind my peers so I had to clamor to catch up...eventually it failed and I eventually secluded myself in the school library during lunch...but I had a good run of trying..

At the height of it though...it was sorta fun.

Well its funny, when I was 16 I fell into a real gothic phase. And I actually did fit in with others who had the same interests..they accepted me as to who I was, but the majority of the students in my high school thought of me as too much of an outcast and kept calling me "rocker wannabe".. whatever.

people have t fit in with me if i am going to like them.
i am as un-malleable as a stone.

I draw on experiences at school because that's the only time in my entire life I was forced to be around people for a good portion, (eight hours, more or less) of the day, five days a week without being able to do much about it.
I did try to fit in, yah, but failed miserably time and time again. I wasn't accepted by others. They thought I was dumb and immature most the time. I think of elementary school and childhood as absolute hell and truly the worst period of my life. I am sure the events have left me permenantly psychologically scarred and influence my overall attitude toward and opinion of people, in general. Sources of great anxiety and annoyance, unaccepting, cold blooded and sorta heartless is how I see 'em.
It has taken me a while to undo the damage that was done in all those years I was incredibly overloaded yet no one really understood what "overloaded" was and continuously blamed me constantly for my problems. My mom told me she was going to spank me everyday and she did just that. She had time set aside for it and everyday I got that whooping, right on schedule, for something I did weeks ago.
Right now I am really grateful I am getting a break from nearly everyone. There are very few that I want to deal with now. I feel like I have reached a good place in my psyche. A much calmer place and I wouldn't go back to how I was or put myself in a situation that would enable that cycle to start again.

I don't recall ever having tried to fit in. Most of the time, I just want/ed to be left alone.

If I tried to fit in, it didn't work in elementary or middle school, since I was bullied constantly until my family moved across town in the summer between 7th and 8th grades. I did have friends since we moved, as they were also geeks like me who were in the band, debate team, and some who were into role-playing games. In college, I did get into those games a bit, but it's been a few years since I actively played. The reason why I haven't played in a while was that the group I was playing with was extremely NT, and got so into the game at times that I hardly had a chance to play my character well enough for them.

Now, I have a circle of real friends who accept me for who I am, so I don't care about that old RPG group.

^ that is great to hear. I too have found some friends through special interest pursuits. BUt i still prefer time on my own.
I tend towards a hermit life, but do recognise that when i get out there and actually make an attempt at connecting - it can help me to feel better about my life and myself.
That is also how WP helps me.

I don't think that I've ever really desperately tried to fit in. I have been repeatedly hurt by the idea that individuals seemed to go out of their way to be cruel to me or ignored me, but I guess I sort of figured that this sort of thing happened: one was either popular or not and the way it was decided was a mystery to me. It didn't really occur to me to try to do anything to change the situation. I have always had a handful of friends who did share interests with me, maybe one or two at a time. Honestly, I didn't like the kids who were popular and didn't enjoy the things they enjoyed, so I just sort of shrugged it off and left them alone and did my own thing.

Unfortunately, not trying to fit in or learning how to do so has become a detriment as I've gotten older and am expected to fit in my work environment. Now, the popular kids are in management or running shop-floor cliques and doing my own thing is called being unsocial. I'm trying to find ways to fit in more, now, but it isn't always easy because there are still things I can't do or simply don't care to do.

Regards,

Patricia

Ohhhh, yes. I did last year, because I wasn't part of that whole getting involved trend mostly everyone was doing and especially into politics, education, sports teams, clubs, etc.

I even tried doing that, too, but I looked like a complete dork later on.

just be yourself. You are 17, with a life in front of you that can be wonderful.
good luck roygerdodger. i wll get around to taking a look at your livejournal at some point.

Thanks, millie!

I don't think I've ever desperately tried to, but I'm sure I've tried to quite a bit before. Even now, I sometimes feel like I gotta try and fit in more

Us oldies have to encourage you youngies to reach for your goals, believe in yourselves and ACHIEVE and LIVE and be yourselves. (sinsboldly taught me that, months ago. it's good to pass this energy on...we must help each other to feel ok and valued.)

That's what we have in common b9. A lot of people on this forum are the same way. The only reason we're still alive is because we're stubborn as mules. We don't compromise with people who try to break our spirit, or give them an inch.

Sometimes it's called integrity. Sometimes it's called--'my way or the highway'. But one thing for sure, it helps keeps you alive when everyone is bent on pulling you down. I call it the spirit of no compromise.

I'm not going down without a fight, but if I go down I'm taking my integrity with me.

Last edited by alba on 09 Jun 2009, 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.