Disconnected but want to feel emotions

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redplanet
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30 May 2009, 6:19 am

Does anyone else experience extreme disconnectedness sometimes, yet at the same time wanting to access strong emotions but being unable to? I'm left with a sort of agitated heaviness in my body and I want some sort of release from it. The thing is I don't know whether I want to cry or get angry or whatever else. I can't always identify the feeling. Other times I can because emotions creep up on me, but often I can't really put my mind to how I'm feeling. Then I sit and try to analyse the sensations by using thoughts which makes everything worse as I get caught up by what I think is happening rather than what actually is. It makes me feel like I'm going insane. The only thing I do know is that I feel strongly that I need some sort of energy release, I just don't know how. I'm an emotional person when it comes to some thing - I can cry after watching something sad on the news or seeing a friend in pain - but somehow when it comes to my own problems and feelings there's a block. I'm not sure if this is an AS thing or other issues.



LiendaBalla
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30 May 2009, 9:02 am

It looks like stress or anxiety from your writing. Granted, those emotions aren't obvious on the surface, but they can be strong ones.

"adgitated heaviness"
"Need a release"
thoughts of uncertainty
thinking your crazy



WoodenNickel
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30 May 2009, 10:40 pm

It sounds like you have alexithymia - the inability to recognize emotions. It's common with ASDs. I have it, but to a lesser extent.

Your problem is to first recognize your emotions, so you can react properly and understand their causes. I'm afraid I can't be of any more assistance. :(



Michjo
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30 May 2009, 10:52 pm

I experience extreme disconnectedness most of the time, nothing seems real, i lose time and i frequently wonder who i am and wether or not i exist. I have a question for you, are you prone to violent outbursts? Because if you aren't, then you must be coping with your emotions somehow. I'm prone to violent outbursts, and the funny thing is, i don't even realise i'm angry. I'll like shout "WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM* and i'll be bemused that people treat me differently than normal :)



millie
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31 May 2009, 12:25 am

It was not until my late 30's that I began to identify some of my emotions - like joy, happiness (experienced rarely.) and a few others. I am better at identifying my emotions than in my childhood and adolescence and adulthood up until mid-30's. Up until then, I experienced depression, a lot of numbness and confusion as to what emotions and feelings actually were, as well as extremes like hilarity and rage.

I mostly experience fairly rudimentary emotions. I do not think my emotional vocabulary is particularly broad or complex.
It is simply the way it is.