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ToughDiamond
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25 Jun 2009, 6:28 am

pluto wrote:
b ) I was planning to pay by cash

That's not such a bad idea - I've heard that many restaurants (and other sellers) are actually allowed to take another handful of your money via the card after you've left the place 8O The idea is supposed to be that if they forget to charge for a bottle of wine or whatever, they can correct the mistake. But I've seen so many of these notices in restuarants and shops that say "please check your change, as mistakes cannot be corrected once the customer has left the premises" - so I reckon I'm entitled to apply the same rule. Also, I've heard of some places taking a bit more money later without justification. So all in all, I think it's wiser to pay in cash, but take enough coins to give them the exact amount, if (like me) you believe that you have the right to refuse a tip. Otherwise you might get embroiled in an unpleasant argument.

Quote:
Waiter: That'll be 7.30 €.
LiE: 8 *hands money, say a 10 € note*
Waiter: Thank you! *gives back 2 €*

Edit: I hated this part. I knew that it is impolite not to tip, but I never was sure how much, and for a long time did not really dare to speak up in a restaurant at all, thus paid only the required amount. Seriously, Can't the waiters be paid a decent wage so this stupid custom can end?


Exactly. I see it as the height of bad manners to assume a tip in that way, leaving the onus on the customer to complain if they don't like the idea. And if a tip is assumed, it's not really a tip any more.

I suppose tipping in theory gives the waiter a chance to improve his income by doing a good job, and the customer gets a chance to apply selective pressure to good & bad restaurants, but it's a rather blunt and limited instrument. The effect is limited to the waiters, assuming they're the ones who actually get the tip (some employers were actually using the tips to top up their pay to the minimum wage, till they outlawed it, so in effect the tip was going straight into the employer's pocket :evil: ). There are so many confounding parameters - if the restaurant seems too expensive, do you still tip? What do you do if you feel you just can't afford to tip? The quality of the waiter's performance depends not just on whether or not he's personally a good 'un, but on his working conditions. I've heard that some waiters have quite a hard, undignified time of it.

All in all, I think it's just a silly hangover from the feudal system, I don't like the idea of the waiter just being nice to me in the hope of getting a gratuity.

I don't think Aspies should confuse tipping with becoming more social. Would any fair-minded person judge somebody for not tipping? It's just as impolite to expect a tip as it is to fail to give one. If it's not optional they may as well just hike the prices and increase the waiter's pay.



beady
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02 Jan 2016, 8:50 am

This has been a very informative thread. Thank you, I've learned a lot.

I have lived for years in the middle east, asia, and europe. I have traveled extensively from those locations and I have lived in multiple areas in the USA (my home country). To anyone who thinks restaurants follow one simple formula, this is simply not true.

I have one more new twist to add. I was recently visiting southern California. The wait staff was constantly not brining you the coin part of the change that they owed you back, just the bills. They have started a trend wherein they believe you will be too embarrassed to ask for your coins. As if those coins are just too troublesome to carry around because we must all be millionaires if we are in southern California and eating out.
This disturbed me and I refused to be bullied into this pattern.



skibum
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02 Jan 2016, 8:58 am

I don't understand what you mean by protocol. I just order when they ask me what I want and when the food comes it comes. If I don't know where or how to pay I just go up to someone who works there and ask. I'm confused. What does restaurant protocol mean?


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0regonGuy
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02 Jan 2016, 10:04 am

Yelp is your friend. Read the reviews, and decide what you are going to order before you go. It makes it a lot easier. Almost everything you need to know is in other people's reviews. If the restaurant doesn't like to publish their menu and prices, chances are at least one reviewer has taken a picture of it with their camera phone. So look at all the pictures for that restaurant. That will also give you a good idea of what the food will look like. Very helpful if the appearance of the food is important to you.

If it is an Asian restaurant, absolutely positively do not ask for silverware. Just don't do that. If it is cheap fast food, they might give you a fork and knife anyway. If they give you chopsticks, then that is what you should eat the food with. So buy yourself some chop sticks and practice eating rice at home with them, before you go. Practice eating rice because thats what you will be eating most. It's really not a difficult thing. Little two year old kids do it in Asia, so you can learn it too. YouTube instruction videos might help.

Tipping. If you live in a country where it is customary, the standard 15% is fine. If you go to the restaurant a lot and you really like the service there, maybe you want to increase it to 20% or 25%. They will remember you if you do that. Of course if they are rude to you or something then f**k them. Don't give them s**t, but don't go back again either. Personally I never leave money in tip jars. Thats just pointless. I only tip for service. Not for the food. I think the majority of people feel the same. So you are just wasting you money if you leave money in a tip jar.


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0regonGuy
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02 Jan 2016, 10:42 am

beady wrote:
This has been a very informative thread. Thank you, I've learned a lot.

I have lived for years in the middle east, asia, and europe. I have traveled extensively from those locations and I have lived in multiple areas in the USA (my home country). To anyone who thinks restaurants follow one simple formula, this is simply not true.

I have one more new twist to add. I was recently visiting southern California. The wait staff was constantly not brining you the coin part of the change that they owed you back, just the bills. They have started a trend wherein they believe you will be too embarrassed to ask for your coins. As if those coins are just too troublesome to carry around because we must all be millionaires if we are in southern California and eating out.
This disturbed me and I refused to be bullied into this pattern.


I worked for 15 years in California in tip related jobs. I kept all of the coins for myself. It doesn't have anything to do with being a millionaire. Millionaires don't care about coins. Millionaires I delivered to usually rounded it up to the next $20 and told me to keep the change. The only people who cared about getting the coins back were cheap ass non-tippers, who wanted every penny back. So at least I got a few coins from them. If they complained about it, I gave them back an extra dollar bill. If they had the nerve to order again, then the next time I brought them the exact change and an ice cold pizza. That was usually the last time they would order. :lol:

If it bothers you, then the simple solution is to pay with exact chance. Thats if it's not too troublesome for you to carry around the change. :D


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AJisHere
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02 Jan 2016, 1:17 pm

Got it mostly figured out by now, but if something gets weird I just roll with it and then leave a generous tip.


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02 Jan 2016, 3:07 pm

I have Restraunt fear. So much Sensory stimuli. If I go to a restaurant. I do one things Try to escape or sensory overload!


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02 Jan 2016, 9:20 pm

wigglyspider wrote:
The worst part for me is payment. Do you wait for a check, do you go to the counter, what do you do with the tip? Who knows.

That is the only part I struggle with. Do I wait for someone to come give me a check, do I flag someone down? How close should I be in proximity to the person I am flagging down? Does the person have to be lock eyes with me for it to be appropriate to flag them down?



mr_bigmouth_502
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02 Jan 2016, 9:55 pm

It often takes a long time for me to decide what to order, especially if the menu is big and unfamiliar, so this makes me grateful for the self-serve touchscreen kiosks at McDonalds, and the mobile app for Domino's. I only wish better restaurants could have things like that; I'm not big on McD's bland cardboard burgers, or Domino's bland cardboard pizza.



AJisHere
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03 Jan 2016, 12:28 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
It often takes a long time for me to decide what to order, especially if the menu is big and unfamiliar, so this makes me grateful for the self-serve touchscreen kiosks at McDonalds, and the mobile app for Domino's. I only wish better restaurants could have things like that; I'm not big on McD's bland cardboard burgers, or Domino's bland cardboard pizza.


I feel you on the taking a long time thing. If I'm with people I know, they're probably aware of that and it's all good. If not, I often just ask the waiter for a recommendation or two and go with it. That usually works out well.


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