People putting words into your mouth.

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Does anyone else have this problem. It seems that every time I get into some kind of conversation. That people act like I said something that I didn't. Just the other night this girl accused me of thinking her brother was stupid. And I said "How and why would I think he is stupid if you claim he is in mensa". Of course they aren't all of me thinking someone's stupid(Which btw i never thought he was stupid) actually that's the first time i can think of being accused to saying/thinking that. But it just seems that there is some non verbal thing I'm not aware of. The only problem is that when people put words in my mouth that I never said much less thought cause I almost always speak my mind without caring. I get really really angry. Cause its like I'm being accused of a crime I never commited.

SIGH just curious if anyone else has this happen to them and if so do you always feel angry about it.

it's happened to me a couple time, what I do is keep my mouth shut around most people, that way they have nothing to say. like my dad always says "the thing that gets you in the most trouble in life, is your mouth" be careful what you say. People tend to put words in your mouth because of something you said. like one time I said. I love girls feet and it turned into "I wanna lick the sweat off of girls feet and I'm obsessed with them". one time I said, michale jackson's a great singer and it turned into "I think MJ is cute". just shut your mouth. you are obviously saying something that triggers these things. also only open your mouth around people you feel you can tust because odds are is that they are the people who wont put words in your mouth.

ya

NTs I think have a way of never saying what they mean. You are suppose to figure it out. Aspies just speak literally and always say what we mean. So NTs are used to always reading between the lines to figure out an alternative meaning to what anyone says. So when an aspie says something, an NT will immediately try to figure out a different motive.

example...

NT says: "I'm really beginning to not like him."
NT means: I hate him

Aspie says: "i'm really beginning to not like him."
Aspie means: i dont like him that much anymore, in the spectrum of 'liking' i've taken one step down to maybe semi-indifferent.


A conversation example...

Aspie to NT: "i'm really beginning to not like him"
NT to aspie: "oh, ya?"
NT, later, to someone else: "aspie said he hates him now"


My theory anyways.

Used to happen to me all the time, although I'm getting used to this whole non-verbal thing over the years. Psychiatrist said he can see I learnt the social "rules" but that he can also see I'm "faking" it. Thanks, man.

And Willa's right. That's EXACTLY how it goes.

See willa just proved my point. willa's right. that's why you just keep your mouth shut and dont say anything to people like that NT or not

Totally.

I don't say much anymore. And every time I do, it gets me hurt.

I'm not meant to share anything, I guess.

Yeah, it happens. Willa hit the nail on the head, I'm amazed at how NTs are so indirect about what they mean and when they just make assumptions like that. It's like they just assume you said what they wanted you to have said, on the most tenuous grounds.

There's also variables... world's biggest pain in the rear, those. You could be talking to someone willing to take your words at face value, who isn't entirely listening, who has poor hearing, who has a chip on their shoulder or is looking for something to be mad about, whose frame of reference is so far removed from yours that your words have a different meaning. I figure someone who brags about Mensa memberships of themselves or their families probably has to spend a lot of time defending their intelligence.

Hey, I've had that happen sooo many times with my own mother...and one other group of people...COPS. They ALWAYS put words into my mouth or twist what I say. It's like they do not know the word "ASK". They never ever think to ask what a person ment. They just assume that one ment what THEY think it ment.

Some people are stupid.

I think it has to do with people interpreting words and sentences. It's all semantics.


It is annoying but I think it's hard for them to not do it because they can't help it. Even aspies do this do because I have seen it. I admit I have done it myself.



When I was little, I over heard my mom say to my dad "I am not like the Louers." Our neighbors.
I thought my mom meant she doesn't like them. So one day I saw her talking to her and I said to her, "Mom why are you talking to her? You said you don't like her," and the lady's eyes went wide and she walked away even though my mother apologized for it and told her she has no idea where I got that from. At the dinner table that night, my mom figured out how i got that idea, she said she wasn't like them. She said that's how I talked then so that's why I thought she meant she doesn't like them. So with people, how they talk, when someone says something, they will think the person means that because that is how they talk. Like when someone says they are beginning to dislike someone, they can mean they don't like that person so when they hear someone else say that, they assume that person means that.


It's a confusing world out there so no way we can prevent this because everyone talks different and thinks different.

A fresh example from today:

I had a tummy-ache. So Mother-In-Law told me, "Go take some Maalox. You might think it tastes nasty, but you'll survive."
I went into the bathroom, took the Maalox, and made my way back to my room.
Little-Brother-In-Law emerges, "So did you go BLEGGH-BLEGGH?" (simulating vomiting due to the horrid taste of the Maalox.)
I flatly replied, "No. I took it. I survived."
So he runs up to his mom and said, "Hey mom, Whitney just said that she liked it! She thinks it tastes good!"
I said, "No, I said nothing like that. What I said was, 'I took it. I survived.'"
He said, "Same thing."

...I do not see how "I survived" means "I really enjoy the taste of cherry-flavored medicine."


Is anyone else, Aspie or NT, able to derive that meaning from those two words? Honestly?!