How should I tell my psychologist that I won't allow him to

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28 Jun 2009, 11:23 am

Mw99 wrote:
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Say "Don't ever mention that again". Just in a normal voice. If he/she doesn't understand where you're coming from after that, tell the psychologist to do their job instead of just assigning you a label, or you'll leave and find someone who will.


And the psychologist will say that the only reason I say that is because I am depressed.


Then, that is the point where you show the psychologist you are not making an idle threat, and just leave.

My shrink told me a couple years ago I was depressed, and I fully agreed with the assessment. However, I told him, more or less exactly as I laid out above, that I wasn't interested in taking medication for it. He understood, and I continued seeing him until recently when I moved. I am no longer depressed, and in the process of "fixing" that (which did take quite some time), the shrink never once mentioned antidepressants again.



Coadunate
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28 Jun 2009, 11:43 am

There is no reason to dismiss medications out-of-hand. From my personal experiences there is very little chance that they will be of any benefit but I wouldn’t refuse to try something new. Everyone is different. What doesn’t work for one may work for another. Now if you try it for a while and it doesn’t work and if the doctor insists that you continue using then I would say get a new doctor.



Callista
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28 Jun 2009, 12:24 pm

I remember being depressed myself. It made me more willing to take medication. In fact, it made decision-making harder, so that I let others make decisions for me. It was only once I started to recover, to understand myself, that I took control of my own treatment--and, not coincidentally, got rid of all but one of those pills, and that got switched to one that actually worked not long afterward.

Your psychologist's full of crap. If you don't want to do medication, and you are not in imminent danger of suicide, then he needs to respect that. I do think you might want to consider trying a very low dose; but I would not force it on you, especially since medication doesn't truly cure depression. If it works correctly, it gives you enough of an edge that you can begin to pull yourself out of it; enough that therapy begins to help you more. But some people do not respond to medication, and some react to them so badly that it is worse than the depression. Therapy alone works about as well as medication alone; they do strengthen each other in combination. But you do have to have a good therapist--one you can communicate with--and this one is evidently not even thinking about the possibility of using therapy-only methods.

Your decision to reject medication is not, as your therapist seems to think, an indication that you are getting more depressed. It's simply a personal preference, something you believe strongly. If you don't want to, then don't.

Therapy with this guy is not going to help you any, though, and I think you know that. Chances are, if he's prescribing, he's a psychiatrist and not even trained very thoroughly in psychotherapy anyway. You want to find somebody who does cognitive style therapy, which tends to help depression more than most other sorts. Most therapists will use a sort of mix of methods; but if you can find one that will go after the problem by teaching you to influence your own thoughts, then you've found somebody who is probably not going to insist on drugs or try to dig out some imagined past trauma that he will then blame everything on and force you to talk endlessly about. Yes, medication can help; but it's not a cure-all, it doesn't work for everyone, and it is possible to recover without. It may take longer for you to recover without medication, of course; but this is your decision and if you are willing to make the trade-off, then go for it.

Incidentally: My experiences on antidepressants have been, overall, mildly positive. I did get off them when I had been in remission for about six months or so. If you do decide to take meds, use the time you're on them to learn to survive off them.


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WillMcC
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28 Jun 2009, 12:40 pm

I have been on anti-depressant medication since I was in high school. Unfortunately, there have been times since being on the medication and I've been depressed. Like any medication, my body builds up a tolerance for it, and it is no longer effective. Upping the dose may have effects, but it should not be a long term solution

I have been looking for a good psychologist (someone who will actually help me overcome stress and depression, rather than covering them up by throwing more drugs at them)



bhetti
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28 Jun 2009, 2:44 pm

Callista wrote:
Your psychologist's full of crap. If you don't want to do medication, and you are not in imminent danger of suicide, then he needs to respect that. I do think you might want to consider trying a very low dose; but I would not force it on you, especially since medication doesn't truly cure depression. If it works correctly, it gives you enough of an edge that you can begin to pull yourself out of it; enough that therapy begins to help you more. But some people do not respond to medication, and some react to them so badly that it is worse than the depression. Therapy alone works about as well as medication alone; they do strengthen each other in combination. But you do have to have a good therapist--one you can communicate with--and this one is evidently not even thinking about the possibility of using therapy-only methods.
yes, exactly. my experience with anti-depressants was horrible, and the fact that the professionals refused to acknowledge that I was having severe health problems because of side effects caused severely reduced quality of life that lasted years.

if the medication works, it can be great. the only thing that seems to help me is valium at bedtime to make me go to sleep, because with good sleep, fewer stressers, and a good therapist, I only get mildly depressed for short periods of time and I can live with that.

you have a right to stick up for yourself. IMO telling you that your refusal to comply stems from your depression borders on abusive because he's trying to pressure you to do something you don't feel comfortable with by using your depression against you.



just-me
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28 Jun 2009, 2:45 pm

Mw99 wrote:
Michjo wrote:
The question is Are you depressed?, if you are depressed then there is nothing wrong with his logic.


what?

If the psychologist told you "because you have Asperger's Syndrome, you don't know what's best for you, therefore you must do what I tell you," there isn't anything wrong with that logic either?


It sounds like he is being very mean to you. Not only should you stop seeing him but you should try to get his license to practice taken away.

He is not only unable to help you ,he is actually doing harm and not good!

I hope your able to get this resolved for your own sake



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28 Jun 2009, 11:09 pm

One time when I took a low dose of Buspar, a mild anti anxiety pill, I felt a lot worse than before I took it. I not only felt less anxiety, I also felt less happiness, too. It was a depressing experience that made me less responsive to feeling the weather and running into friends/acquaintances. Fortunately, I took it for only 1ce or 2ce and was able to get off of it cold turkey, without any dangerous side effects.



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29 Jun 2009, 1:17 am

Mw99 wrote:
Michjo wrote:
The question is Are you depressed?, if you are depressed then there is nothing wrong with his logic.


what?

If the psychologist told you "because you have Asperger's Syndrome, you don't know what's best for you, therefore you must do what I tell you," there isn't anything wrong with that logic either?

As to the answer to your question, the last 3 shrinks I saw told me that I was not depressed. I was talking about an experience that happened over 5 years ago. I am officially not depressed and my position is the same: I don't want medications.

What are you going to say now? That I say I don't want medications because I am stupid and therefore must obey any psychologist/psychiatrist who tries to foist them on me?


Any person who thinks there is nothing wrong with that logic is seriously stupid.

If my psychiatrist was to tell me that my issues were from depression instead of my aspergers then i would either give the drugs a shot, or look into some type of cognitive therapy if i had an aversion to drugs. Just because one has aspergers syndrome it does not negate them from being depressed, and it does not mean that their problems are not caused by depression.

Of course you'd have to ask yourself what's best for you, would it take you longer to find a new psychiatrist than it would to try the drugs for a month? You could then tell your psychiatrist that they are either having no effect or making you worse, and hence forcing him to change his diagnosis?

You've obviously given him reason to believe you are depressed, and until he can rule out depression, he is always going to try and treat the depression. There really isn't anything wrong with his logic, he is the doctor, you are the patient.

If a doctor were to suspect that someone had multiple sclerosis, he might give them prednisone as a precaution AND to validate his diagnosis. Just because the patient might dislike drugs or disagree with the doctor, it doesn't make the doctor any less logical.



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29 Jun 2009, 2:01 am

Even so, a doctor can't force you to take drugs against your will unless a) you are incapable of making the decision yourself, b) in a situation where taking the drugs is a matter of life-or-death, or c) all of the above. I don't think either of those situations apply here.

Besides, a PSYCHOLOGIST isn't licensed to prescribe medication. Only PSYCHIATRISTS can. Many people get this confused, but it is not a negligible difference.


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29 Jun 2009, 4:46 am

Read about informed consent. Determine whether the doctor is failing in this duty. If they are, either find a new doctor or explain to them that they are not providing complete enough information (e.g., risks, benefits, and alternatives) for you to make an informed decision. If someone is pressurizing you who is not allowed to prescribe, use similar reasoning.

If you have a clear understanding of the facts, then demonstrate this. Use the facts to explain your reasoning around rejecting a treatment option.



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29 Jun 2009, 6:35 am

Michjo wrote:
Mw99 wrote:
Michjo wrote:
The question is Are you depressed?, if you are depressed then there is nothing wrong with his logic.


what?

If the psychologist told you "because you have Asperger's Syndrome, you don't know what's best for you, therefore you must do what I tell you," there isn't anything wrong with that logic either?

As to the answer to your question, the last 3 shrinks I saw told me that I was not depressed. I was talking about an experience that happened over 5 years ago. I am officially not depressed and my position is the same: I don't want medications.

What are you going to say now? That I say I don't want medications because I am stupid and therefore must obey any psychologist/psychiatrist who tries to foist them on me?


Any person who thinks there is nothing wrong with that logic is seriously stupid.

If my psychiatrist was to tell me that my issues were from depression instead of my aspergers then i would either give the drugs a shot, or look into some type of cognitive therapy if i had an aversion to drugs. Just because one has aspergers syndrome it does not negate them from being depressed, and it does not mean that their problems are not caused by depression.

Of course you'd have to ask yourself what's best for you, would it take you longer to find a new psychiatrist than it would to try the drugs for a month? You could then tell your psychiatrist that they are either having no effect or making you worse, and hence forcing him to change his diagnosis?

You've obviously given him reason to believe you are depressed, and until he can rule out depression, he is always going to try and treat the depression. There really isn't anything wrong with his logic, he is the doctor, you are the patient.

If a doctor were to suspect that someone had multiple sclerosis, he might give them prednisone as a precaution AND to validate his diagnosis. Just because the patient might dislike drugs or disagree with the doctor, it doesn't make the doctor any less logical.
Usually, when you're depressed you know that something is not right. You might blame it on someone else and get angry instead of sad; or you might assume it's physical if your primary symptom is tiredness; but you'll know something is wrong. Depression is not something you can overlook--not unless you're so badly depressed and possibly also psychotic, and have bad insight as a result (one presumes this is not the case in someone who is not hospitalized). The exception is probably life-long dysthymia, which you can grow used to, and which requires therapy whether or not you try meds. Some doctors can mistake Asperger's flat affect from depressive flat affect, and mistake Asperger's people being willing to tell what is wrong with their lives with depressives over-focusing on it. But yes. You can have both.

Even if you do have depression, you have a right to choose your treatment. Psychotherapy is as useful as medication, statistically; and on top of that, medication works better for people who expect it to work well (placebo effect--very powerful stuff; more powerful than the meds in many cases). Sure, if meds work, go for it; but if you don't want it, the idea that you can't get well until you start taking medication is silly. In fact, one of the worst ways to get well is to give in and take up the "patient" identity, let your doctor make decisions for you. If you do that, you have the "patient" mindset to recover from on top of the depression.

If you want, you should try medication. I recommend it. But I also think that before you do, you should find a psychiatrist to talk to who doesn't push them like your current guy does. It sounds like he'd also be the type to do things like uselessly increasing dosage or insisting that side effects are tolerable when they're not. A "true believer" in medication is not going to be a good guy to go to even if you want medication.


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29 Jun 2009, 12:15 pm

This therapist and all similar ones should be put out of business. But be careful. These people are given way too much power and they often abuse it. You don't want to jeopardize your safety in any way. If you do make a complaint or report him, try to do so anonymously. Otherwise be very careful. If you don't do so anonymously, realize that you may require legal counsel to protect yourself from retaliation.

Don't go back. If you have another appointment, cancel it and never return.

Find one of the 10% who actually know how to do their job properly. One who respects your integrity. One who wants to help and heal, and is willing to do so on your terms. Better not to have a therapist than to have one who is incompetent and manipulative, one who abuses your rights and dignity. Unfortunately most practicing therapists couldn't find their way out of a paper bag....meaning they aren't able to help themselves and probably can't help you either.



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29 Jun 2009, 3:15 pm

You are his customer. Not his child. He has NO business ordering you to do anything.

Get a new therapist.


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02 Jun 2011, 1:28 pm

Mw99 wrote:
amazon_television wrote:
Say "Don't ever mention that again". Just in a normal voice. If he/she doesn't understand where you're coming from after that, tell the psychologist to do their job instead of just assigning you a label, or you'll leave and find someone who will.


And the psychologist will say that the only reason I say that is because I am depressed.


Tell the psychologist that the only reason he is not listening to your logic and avoiding the fact that you feel this drug will only numb you to a point that syptoms/existance dont show is because he is depressed and no longer is capable to listen to logic. Remind him that depressed people often display anger at the world and blame others for their problems sometimes having a need for revenge. Tell him that by his own logic, he should be taking the medication and will do so now! Any attempt to not take it will only confirm this theory....

Then again i would be surprised if he is already on it.



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02 Jun 2011, 1:42 pm

Another vote for finding a new therapist, for all the reasons posted above by others.



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03 Jun 2011, 11:34 am

Michjo wrote:
The question is Are you depressed?, if you are depressed then there is nothing wrong with his logic. If he is unwilling to explore non-drug avenues to deal with your depression, then more than likely he is unable to, or is not confident in doing so. You may need to find another psychologist.


Well even depressed people can know whether or not they want meds....saying you are not comfortable with something the psycholigist suggests is not going to happen 'because one is depressed' non depressed people say no to things they are not comfortable with as well.