Roommates: Good Idea or Bad Idea?

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QuirkyCarla
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03 Feb 2006, 7:39 pm

Yupa wrote:
If I told you why I thought roommates were a bad idea, we'd have to move this to the mature topics section of the forums.


Yup, a lot of that goes on in college unfortunately.



Yupa
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04 Feb 2006, 10:02 am

QuirkyCarla wrote:
Yup, a lot of that goes on in college unfortunately.

OK, I get what you're saying. Sexual abuse wasn't really what I had in mind when I said that, but I acknowledge that that issue is a lot more important than what I was thinking of when I made that statement.
What I meant was that there's a high chance your roommate will wallk in and unintentionally interrupt your, ahem.... "explorations of your personal feelings."



pyraxis
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04 Feb 2006, 10:25 am

I think I'm the evil roommate in the years I lived with other people at college. All I ever wanted was to do the minimum necessary chores and then disappear and be left alone. But that didn't go over well.

The first year was fine... she irritated me a little because she was depressed all the time and sleeping at odd hours or wandering around heaving big sighs. But I got along with her friends okay and they even invited me places. She never complained, and if I asked her to do something like buy her share of the toilet paper, she would do it. But then she dropped out.

The second and third year were more of a mess. The roommate and I were both crazy, but at first it was in compatible ways. She was OCD and I was very open to her requests like never ever touching her stuff or sitting on her stool or bed, 'cause it seemed to affect her in the way sensory stuff affected me and I sympathized. She was very outgoing and unstable and always in the middle of some life-threatening drama... I was very quiet and let it all wash past me and observed with scientific curiosity. But I think that came off as unfriendly and she wished I talked to her and she couldn't read me, 'cause things I did started driving her nuts, like typing late at night. I refused to stop because the internet was my only connection with my friends. She started confronting me loudly and aggressively, which would freak us both out... she'd end up locking herself in the bathroom for an hour and crying, I started going fight-or-flight all the time and living like the dorm was a war zone. Still we never talked, which was all my fault cause I was way too scared to do it. By the end she hated me, which was too bad, cause I still felt sympathetic to her.

The fourth year there were 3 of them, and I'm pretty tidy, but they were stricter about it. Didn't know how to talk to them either so they started leaving me nasty notes all over the apartment, over things like forgetting to close the cupboard doors in the kitchen or wiping down the counters without drying them so there were patches of water. I think I scared them by how I reacted when they tried to confront me in person... it was back into war zone, with me talking as controlled as I knew how, but expecting any second to be screamed at. The three of them allied against me but the end of the year came along before they could get organized enough to kick me out.



Drogol1032
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31 Mar 2006, 12:06 pm

I had one room mate during my Freshman year at Northeastern U. He was intollerable. He was up until 4-5 am IMing and listening to loud crappy music. It was literally unbearable. It got to the point where I could not sleep but rather take random naps throughout the day. My grades ended up sucking as well since I could not get into any comfortable groove. My advise, make sure you know who your room mate is before making any move.



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31 Mar 2006, 6:05 pm

Can you get a room, that is just a room to yourself all self-contained, where nobody can bother you? It might be within an apartment or house with other similar self-contained rooms, that's what I did once, actually just after being a student and having got my first job. I had my own kitchen area, bed and 'living room' all in the one room (I only had to share the bathrooms). As a student that's maybe the sort of thing you should consider.

If you are going to be in an apartment with like 3 other people in the same living space, I'd seriously only consider it if you were good friends with them and trusted them. As an Aspie I know I couldn't do it again, I just could not live communally like that with people previously unknown to me. As a student I was evicted from such a place by the landlord after only 3 months, on grounds of non-compatibility with my flatmates, and one in particular.



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05 Apr 2006, 6:24 am

I hate having roommates. I keep myself segregated from them.



dexkaden
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05 Apr 2006, 9:27 am

I will not be having to look for roommates this year. My parents and I agreed that as long as I attend school full time, and as long as I maintain a certain GPA, then I can live at home until whenever. But I think that in two years, I will be looking for my own apartment, or my own room in a place just to get used to being on my own. I will attend school close enough so I have parental help in learning to be independent. I think that will be the best since I hope to be moving far, far away in three years to finish school, and it would not be a pleasant experience if I didn't already know how to do all this stuff.

I also HOPE that I will find people who aren't afraid of me, and who at least will try to understand. I am told that the school disability office helps "different" students find roommates if they need it. Plus, with all the money I've saved working, and all the loan money I'll take out if I have to, I will probably be able to afford to live by myself. Now, if only I can find some scholarship money...

Thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate it. It's nice to know that people have been there, done that, you know? Thanks!


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jonathan79
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16 Apr 2006, 11:54 pm

dexkaden wrote:
Plus, I am not even sure moving out is the best since I forget to do a lot of things, like pay bills, eat, go to class, do dishes, do laundry, etc. because I so focused on a few things.


I am the exact same way. When I first moved out, I used a ton of post-it notes and scotch tape to help me remember everything, and I still do. They're gifts from heaven for the forgetful :lol:. I used to put my bills in really weird places, like on the middle of the tile floor in the living room, or the bathroom, so there was no way that I could miss them. If put them on the counter they were totally forgotten. I still have the hardest time remembering to get my laundry though. I don't know why, but once their in the washer, I forget all about them. Good luck!



emp
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17 Apr 2006, 2:03 am

dexkaden wrote:
Plus, I am not even sure moving out is the best since I forget to do a lot of things, like pay bills, eat, go to class, do dishes, do laundry, etc.


Get an electronic portable organizer device, or use reminder/organizer software on your computer, or use Google Calendar or Yahoo Calendar, or just get a plain old paper diary. I have 97 reminders in my organizer currently.

Re paying bills, some companies can handle this automatically by billing your credit card or withdrawing direct from your bank account every month automatically. Or use your organizer or diary to set reminders for a certain days every month on which you will process all outstanding bills.

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