Positive thinking can make things worse

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tweety_fan
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03 Jul 2009, 10:29 pm

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25 ... 01,00.html

this study shows that affirmations don"t always work.
they never work for me.



cyberscan
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03 Jul 2009, 10:47 pm

Psychological therapy, counseling, etc. is for neurotypicals. That stuff doesn't work for most of us on the spectrum. In fact, trusting in it will only multiply our problems.


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04 Jul 2009, 3:54 am

People have advised me to think positive, like ''I'm a great person that is very talented'' and such nonsense. Even though I found it ridiculous right away, I gave it a try and it made me find it even more ridiculous. What's the point of saying to yourself you're great? If you don't believe it, you don't believe it, you know better even though you are trying to fool yourself, which basically is what you're trying. I think giving compliments to yourself makes you feel even more pathetic since you have to tell yourself that you're great- no one else does, apparently. How gret are you then?

I don't get why this story of self-complimenting and positive thinking lasted this long anyway. It's just a very obvious attempt to fool yourself, and you probably won't buy that rubbish from yourself.


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Wombat
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04 Jul 2009, 4:25 am

"I think I'm a loser".

"Now, now, you must be positive about these things"

"Ok, I'm POSITIVE that I am a loser" :D



phil777
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04 Jul 2009, 11:16 am

Hey croc, that's a very nice specimen you have in your avatar...

And uh....since i can't find anything topic related to say, i'll congratulate your for your grades. <.<



Kaleido
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04 Jul 2009, 11:20 am

I think being realistic rather than pessimistic is the best option, so maybe going into something with a good attitude rather than already deciding it won't work out is good and being realistic in acknowledging that something may go wrong but the likelihood is just the same as something good happening.



Michjo
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04 Jul 2009, 11:20 am

Haha it's about time something like this came out! It pretty much justifies my brand of "support".



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04 Jul 2009, 3:28 pm

I disagree, there is nothing wrong with a positive attitude providing you are realistic. I am quite willing to stand in front of a mirror, look myself right in the eyes, and think 'not bad for someone over half a century old'. I still have hair and most of my teeth, I have a reasonable figure, and when it comes to AS I can handle most of life that's thrown at me. You don't lie, you just accentuate the positive. If I went into a job interview thinking that I would never get the job because of AS, my age or a list of other stuff then I would walk out an hour later without the job. On the other hand, if you walk in thinking that the job is easy and you can do it then you might just get it. OK, that's just an example but there are others.

Positive thinking is really needed when it comes to the opposite sex. Just think about it for a moment, who is the girl of your dreams likely to fall for:

a) The guy who comes in each day, spends nine hours at his desk apart from bathroom breaks and then just goes home in the morning. He does this because he thinks that he's worthless and not good enough for the office social scene.

b) The guy who wishes everyone good morning when he walks in (and means it) and makes the best of what he has. He does this because he believes that when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade.


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04 Jul 2009, 5:08 pm

I think the idea of positive thinking is an over-reaction to overly-negative thinking. If someone is depressed and thinking "I can't do anything right" then some attempted positive thinking would be a good idea (if possible). But if you're already pretty realistic then inflating that pushes what your thinking into delusion-ville.

Hypomanic people have unrealistically high self-esteem and optimism, and they get into loads of trouble because of it (like debt, "I'll just make more money later, no problem!") so there definitely is such a thing as pathological optimism.


From Skeptic magazine:

Quote:
Positively Misguided:
The Myths & Mistakes
of the Positive Thinking Movement

by Steve Salerno

My college football coach was the kind of guy Stanley Kubrik must have had in mind when he conceived the over-the-top drill sergeant for his classic Vietnam film, Full Metal Jacket. During one game midway in my sophomore year, my offensive-line cohorts and I were having trouble opening holes for our ball carriers. Coach pulled us aside at half-time and lined us up against a wall. He then walked the line and — from a distance of maybe two inches — screamed into each of our faces in turn, “I want you to tell me now, are you ever gonna miss another block!?” There was a pungent Anglo-Saxon gerund between another and block, but good taste compels me to omit it.

The only acceptable answer was “No sir!”, which we too were expected to scream at ear-splitting volume. This would assure Coach of our mettle, dedication, and worthiness to have him browbeat us for the rest of the season. But to me, Coach’s question sounded unreasonable. I still had two-and-a-half seasons of football ahead of me. What assurances could I give? And so, when my turn came, I drew a breath and said, “Look, Coach, I certainly don’t want to miss another block! But probably yes, I think I will miss a few. Now and then.”

From the bewildered look on Coach’s face, you’d think I’d just morphed into a six-foot-four-inch wombat right before his eyes. For a moment he just stared at me. Then he exploded. Labeling me “a smart-ass” who was “out to show him up,” he banished me to the end of the bench. Not long after play resumed, however, he quietly inserted me back in the game. It seems my replacement — one of those players who would “never miss another block” — was missing quite a few of them.

There’s no mistaking the allure of an outlook in which you’ll make every block, get every job you apply for, close every sales call, and win the heart of every man or woman who catches your eye. This became clear to me many years post-college when I began research for a book about the human-potential movement. I quickly realized how invested Americans were in their optimism — and how irate they’d become at being challenged, or even just questioned, on it; I was encountering what essayist Barbara Ehrenreich, writing later in Harper’s, would bracket as “pathological” hope. It’s a world-view that’s seductive and uplifting and ennobling — all of that — and yet, evidence and common sense suggest it has nothing to do with setting (and implementing) realistic goals, establishing (and observing) priorities and, perhaps most important, recognizing valid limitations and obstacles.

(article continues - link (you have to scroll down the page a bit))



hartzofspace
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05 Jul 2009, 12:10 am

I agree with the OP. But then, it depends upon what constitutes a positive attitude, to you. Merely repeating something that sounds unrealistic and silly to yourself, over and over, may not be it. But simply being realistic, knowing yourself, and based upon what you know, putting yourself out there for whatever your desire is, makes more sense to me. I have long since realized that looking in a mirror and saying things to myself made me feel foolish. But making a list of my strengths and weaknesses, made more sense. Also, making an effort to only include people who like me just the way that I am, in my life, makes me feel good about myself. Because they're not always preaching something at me, or telling me how I could improve, if I would just do whatever crazy crap they've read about in some book or other.


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pluto
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05 Jul 2009, 11:07 am

Postive thinking on a conscious level won't always work if the subconscious is still harbouring negative beliefs.In that case the effort made to think positively can lead to inner conflict.There has to be a balance between blind optimism and a realistic approach.


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hartzofspace
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05 Jul 2009, 1:47 pm

OTOH, I have found that hanging up written affirmations around my house, makes the words eventually sink in. Since I automatically read words wherever I am, it's like I am reminding myself of positive thoughts, instead of trying to dun them in.


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11 Jul 2009, 7:02 pm

Sometimes I think the positive thinking thing can go a little overboard. Like when you go to those sorts of conventions where you're listening to a Positive-Thinking guru or a How-To-Make-Money-Quick gimmick or some other thing that has almost generic sounding and sometimes silly positive thinking exercises. You go home afterwards energized and with a piece of paper that tells you to say your positive thinking mantra every morning, but after awhile it stops working. At least it does for me. The more I try to say whatever mantra it is the sillier it sounds and the more unbelievable.



Hmmmn
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11 Jul 2009, 7:35 pm

Yes positive thinking can go way too far, Self-efficacy similar but more more realistic.