Opening paragraph for story I'm writting...

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kxmode
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07 Aug 2009, 3:25 pm

I believe I found a format that I'm starting to enjoy. It seems to help with flow. On the way to the confrontation my story is switching between "protagonist" and "antagonist" by telling their story, why they do what they do, their beliefs, their cultures, their friends, families, and so forth. I put the label in quotes because my goal is to let the reader decide who is the hero and who is the villain, or perhaps the reader will decide both are heroes; in their own way.

The first time I saw this method of story-telling happened while reading the three War of the Ancients books. The story's jumping between many threads was fun to read and engaging. If memory serves I believe J.R.R. Tolkien also use this method in The Two Towers and The Return of the King.

What do you think?


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kxmode
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15 Aug 2009, 3:21 am

Finished page 20 tonight. :)

Here's a random first-draft snippet...

“Hate these creatures! They have caused nothing but misery for our people since they arrived. Now they harvest the one thing our race needs to survive!” Skrit turned back to the image and began to speak to it as if he was yelling directly to the creatures themselves. “We won’t stand for this! WE ARE TALAGIAN! This is OUR world!”

The students stood and became a chorus of jeers. Sabor and Rezen joined them. Rezen, while not as vocal as Sabor, shared the anger of the class and had choice things to yell. The anger in the room was omnipresent. The attendants on the dais’s parameter looked up and grinned at the array of anger brewing. They too remembered when they attended this class. The first time they saw the mineral and the realization that their race was in danger of annihilation because of these outsiders… these aliens. From the court the guards could hear echoes the anger emanating from inside the south spire and knew the lesson was going well. In their firm stances small grins appeared. Another class was learning the truth and it would not be long before they joined the ranks.

Back inside Skirt allowed his students to let out whatever pent up anger they had before raising his hand to subdue them.

“You have all learned the truth. Dwell on this for the remainder of the cycle, and I’ll see you soon.” Then a quick thought came to mind. “And don’t be late!”

As the students streamed out of the spire they stayed in the court and began socializing in their normal cliques of friends and associates. Sabor and Rezen, who did not know anyone, left the assembly and walked over to the railing. The vista from the railing was spectacular. This was a rare opportunity too. On most occasions students gathered to socialize near the railing but on this particular cycle many students stayed in the courtyard near the southern spire. It was as if the course somehow magnetized the building.

Sabor was still reeling from the lesson and information learned. Rezen was too but he was more interested in peering out there… beyond the high walls that blocked the view of Talag.

“How long?” Rezen finally asked.

“They say each course is tailored for the class. I would say soon.” Sabor leaned on the railing next to Rezen and looked out on the darkly, illuminated city.

“I hope so. I want out.” Rezen’s voice echoed feelings of adventure.

“Me too, my friend; me too.” Sabor’s tone suggested vengeance.

Off in the distance in their home districts they saw the familiar soaring beacons displaying Defend Our Way of Life!… Learn the Truth! Sign up today!… and other bumper-sticker slogans. One promotion showed a number of victories. While Sabor smiled at the tallies Rezen continue to stare at the city’s wall… longing.


CHAPTER 2.


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Last edited by kxmode on 15 Aug 2009, 12:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ZEGH8578
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15 Aug 2009, 11:27 am

cool feel, cool writing, and i dont even like to read much :]


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kxmode
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04 Jun 2010, 1:32 am

Sorry about necroposting, but I made a decision in a scene of my story that is making me sad (almost teary eye). I only did it because it's part of the overall story arc. But the decision is making me feel sad. Does anyone have any advice? :(


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January issues of the
Watchtower - Raising Considerate Children in a Me-First World
and Awake - Should You Fear the End of the World?

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