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Hi, I didn't realize there was a parent's section here inititally so I posted under the "new here" category. If you wouldn't mind checking out my post and giving me some feedback I'd appreciate it! I think it's "new here and could really use some feedback please!" and I promise to post in the parent's section from now on!

Thanks,

Kathleen

Hi, and welcome.

I read your other post wasn't sure how to respond. You son is by far the youngest in his group...eight months younger is a lot when we are talking three and four year olds. I don't think its that unusual for a three year old to have a tough time sitting still for 45 minutes. That's a pretty long time, even for kindergarteners.

BeeBee

Hey Kat

I got your message, I'm new at this and I'm not sure how and where to post and reply either. Now regarding your questions, here's my best guesses.

Your little guy will of course seem "normal" , if it's AS his difference won't really appear until he's 6 or so (and that's early) My guy R is 6, he has a 3 year old brother, Sam. I can now see the 3 year old passing R in social skills. R is lucky he's had Sam. As a 3 year old Sam is very literal and has a simple view of right, wrong, rules etc. So when you see the two boys play you think hey everything is fine. R also has good days and bad days. When R is sick, his sensitivities are brutal, he's in agony over sounds and smells.

With the echolalia, R never echoed the TV, he echos himself. How many repeats does B do? R repeats 4 - 5 times. I have to tell him "you've said it 6 times, that's enough" and he does stop.

The reading thing is phenomenal. R is exactly the same way. He has been diagnosed gifted, but the same thing. For the school books, he'll read them in half a second and look at me like that's it? When R was 2 he spelt FLAG with the fridge magnet letters. I think that's strange but I've heard that with AS you do sometimes have extraordinary skills that are helping to compensate.

Have you picked up a copy of the diagnosive criteria for Asperger's? It's really hard to tell how difficult things will be for R. I'm like you in that I am trying to anticipate some of his hardships and work out solutions. We have a couple of friends on board. R does not make eye contact or carry on a two way conversation. R goes from being quiet to talking at you. He will definitely have social trouble. Right now he could care less, he's 6 but .....

With the clothing thing you need to find out what is driving the preference. Is it comfort? Then I would test the water with different styles and colours but keep it comfortable. I read somewhere that new fabrics smell different and sometimes you just need to wash a new item a few times with what's familiar first. I do absolutely believe you need to keep trying. R was very rigid in that he would only eat off green coloured plates. Well I think I owned 2! After 4 years of always having the plate handy, R said to me last month...." if you don't have a green plate it's okay to use the white plate with the green ivy" I was trying to slip his next favourite colour at him. Well, I have a whole set of Cornell white with green ivy....Yeah!! So he has broadened he ability to cope.

B sounds wonderful and you're right to hope and expect the best for him. With good care, even if the wierdest thing appears, you're going to give him the coping strategies to feel good about himself and achieve whatever he wants.

For example the impatient visit to the washroom when you're at a restaurant, you're right he probably has explored everything interesting around him and wants something new. I just bring and this really works for R, a Bioncle set (or lego in a zip lock bag) the combinations are endless and it a nice quiet game to work on. What does B like? I notice R doesn't like to colour or draw, but he loves to build.

So, did that help? Every kid is different, every kid has trouble with something, no one gets through life without some kind of challenge. B is going to be just fine. I have 3 kids, the other two "normal" kids breeze out the front door with barely a wave goodbye. R is my heart, he is the bravest, he hesitates, he struggles. I know when all is said and done and I'm on my death bed, he's the one who will be at my side. I think I'm lucky.

Well, hope you get lots of feedback.

Later
Jetgirl[/b]

Gosh, I'm nervous and confused! Thank you for your reply!

An example of his echolalia: he will say "daddy's not going for work now." Whenever my husband is home-or gets home. (We here this alot on weekend mornings!) other stuff like: "this toilet's not broken." (he once encountered a broken toilet!) or "this toilet flushes by itself" (if the toilet flushes by itself) stuff like that. Also, "it's getting dark outside." whenever it starts to get dark, stuff like this. I could go on and on. Sometimes it is stuff he comes up with on his own but then will say every time the situation arises. Funny, my mom says he doesn't do this stuff with her. Another example: every time he passes the boys and girls toilets he will have to say "that's the boys." "that's the girls." It's almost like he's STUCK on certain sayings. (I promise not everything revolves around toilets though!

He only wants to listen to CD's in my car-not the radio. He only likes fast, upbeat songs. If the song is slow, he will say, "next song." But in anyone else's car, whatever you are listening to is fine so long as it's LOUD! He also hums quite a bit. sometimes you can recognize the tune, other times no.

He isn't rigid to a routine, will go anywhere, anytime. He will swim, tube, ride bikes, sleigh ride, do anything a "typical" child will do. He cares if he has friends. He doesn't seperate too easily from me though. At preschool for some reason he does great-but like today at the birthday party-I had to stay-when I started to leave he wallopped up in tears and had a look on his face like I had just dropped him off at an orphanage or something!! ! Once he realized I was going to stay-he was off and running-is this typical? He also won't let anyone but myself or my husband take him to the bathroom if we are out in public-not my mom, grandma, nobody-my mom tried to take him the other day b/c he kept saying "need to go poo-poo" and I was unavailable at the moment. When mom tried to take him he started kicking and screaming saying, "I'll wait 'til I get home!! !" See, he CAN come up with spontanious talk if he WANTS to!

He is starting to play in shared play vs. parallel play. Although some of his verbage is the same no matter what-like today at the party I observed him saying to a little boy: "you need some gas." (the little boy was riding a bicycle and B was acting like he was filling up his tank.) That's just it though, he's seen us do things like that in play with him so he mimics what he has seen and the coming up with it on his own "pretend play" hasn't really happened yet. He doesn't want to be left out of the group at all. Wherever those little boys were running off too, he was right behind them. Jumping on the trampoline, running down the slides, riding bikes, whatever, he DOES have a need to be excepted!

Am I making sense at all? Oh, and about the clothing: I do know he prefers WHITE T-shirts all of a sudden-have no idea why b/c he cannot yet tell me why. He doesn't yet ask how or why questions. But he does ask "What's that?" and "Where's ________" He can also answer who/what/where/which but no how or why's yet.

I hope I am making a mountain out of a molehill but just not sure what else to say about him. He's my gift from God and I love him no matter what! That's all!

Please anyone who can offer insight/feedback/support or relate in any way please respond!

Thank you so much!

Kathleen in Indiana