butting in-conversations and social situations

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hartzofspace
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21 Jul 2009, 7:35 pm

Vanilla_Slice wrote:
This has been a problem for years. I also have difficulty judging when a conversation is private and when they are happy for other people to join in.

Vanilla_Slice


It is still that way for me, too.


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spooky13
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22 Jul 2009, 9:57 am

I do that alot. I've also been really trying to focus on not interrupting people, but it only works about 10% of the time.



arcticmelody
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22 Jul 2009, 4:47 pm

Quote:
yep same here. if i wait i usually end up waiting to long and by that time what i was going to say was out of place or i hold onto that thought and don't really listen to what the other person has to say till i can say what i was going to say (more one on one)

I am exactly the same way!!

Most of the time I just stay quiet...occasionally I'd butt into a conversation that is really none of my business to begin with...people just look at me weird..and then ignore me lol



hartzofspace
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22 Jul 2009, 6:18 pm

Once, I was at work, and I jumped into a conversation that was taking place a few feet away from my desk. :? One woman turned to me, and said, "Why are you in this conversation?" I was sooo embarrassed, that I wanted to crawl under my desk and hide... :oops:


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JetLag
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22 Jul 2009, 6:28 pm

Conversations never did come naturally to me. I have often made the mistake of thinking that a person had finished making his or her point in a discussion and then, thinking it was my turn, made my point only to be corrected for interrupting. Lately I've been trying to focus on conversations more as a listener than a talker, basically expressing my views when they are asked for.

Sometimes, though, I still manage to find ways to unintentionally interrupt people. For instance, if I have to ask a store employee where a certain item is located, I still find myself walking up to the employee, asking the question, and then realizing a second later that I had just interrupted the conversation that the employee was having with another customer.


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zeldapsychology
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22 Jul 2009, 8:25 pm

Wow!! ! Me too!! !! My family will be talking about something I mention another topic and they are like what are you talking about (I assumed we were onto a new topic LOL!) I also jump into conversation "Oh so you like Mario what other games do you like" and I get a weird stare LOL!



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23 Jul 2009, 9:35 pm

It'd embarrassing. I never know when is and when is not appropriate to interrupt or join into a conversation. :oops:


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pekkla
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23 Jul 2009, 10:28 pm

Same problem here. I almost always interrupt conversations between other parents at my daughter's soccer games, and at my kids' schools. The more insecure I am about myself with certain people, the worse I am at judging when I should say something. After I say something--even hours later--I'm replaying the stupid conversation in my head, trying to figure out what I should have said.

Plus, I'm pretty sure I make a geeky face when I talk. I was clueless about this until I was at a baby shower several years ago that someone filmed with their home movie camera, and they replayed it. Extremely embarassing.



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23 Jul 2009, 10:59 pm

Notice how people end up interrupting you to correct you for interrupting? My civilian supervisor in the military though had an art. When I'd inadvertantly interrupt him, he would make a big deal with shutting his mouth and turning his head away as if he was silently protesting the interruption and refusing to listen to what I have to say until I listen to what he had to say. It was the most

Cell phones I'm the worse on because they often have a 3 second delay. So when I hear silence, I start talking, but by then, the other person was talking again too.

I also like to butt into other people's conversations. I can't help it. Like I'll stand in the check out lane and due to my heightened Aspie senses, I hear other people's conversations even when I'm trying so hard to ignore it, and sometimes they make me laugh or will say something I have something I really want to say, and sometimes i correct when they are wrong, like that place closed down, and I'll say no it just moved down the street. I figure if people want to have a private conversation, then they should have that conversation in private. I will tell them that if they seem to have a problem with me putting in my 2 cents. Most of the time, they think it's a little weird, but they like it or just don't really mind it so much. Only on very few occasions do I get really dirty looks or something bad said to me, but if they got something bad to say too, so do I. I get more dirty looks for having conversations with my friends in public that other people think should be in private (like complaining about our men for a minute or something).

I also noticed people rarely say, "What's your opinion?" I ask for other people's input and say, "What do you think" often, but most of the time, I'm the only person doing that. Sometimes you have to interrupt to get a word in edgewise. It's funny because we are the ones who supposedly monologue.



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23 Jul 2009, 11:10 pm

I gave up trying to be well timed in conversations years ago. I don't talk unless it's unavoidable. The only person I talk to a lot is my one true friend. I hold everything inside until the next time i see her then explode with interesting things to say. I'll just verbally vomit out my week's experiences for like an hour.

I actually don't talk at all some days and just type on this site for hours. just talking to my computer i guess



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23 Jul 2009, 11:48 pm

conan wrote:
if i wait i usually end up waiting to long and by that time what i was going to say was out of place or i hold onto that thought and don't really listen to what the other person has to say till i can say what i was going to say (more one on one)


My god, that's EXACTLY my problem. It's like you stole the words right from my mind! I once had a teacher who always told me when I'd interrupted him. He was usually a nice guy, and I liked the fact that he was a sci-fi nerd like me, but he had an exceptionally irritating way of telling me off where he'd grin and use a cheerful tone of voice while telling me I could get in trouble if I persisted in what I was doing. I always find rudeness even more irritating if it's accompanied with cheerfulness, just like being picked on makes me angrier if the person doing it seems to find it funny. I don't know why. (Then again, rudeness makes me angrier still if it's angrily shouted rudeness.)



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24 Jul 2009, 8:13 am

Vanilla_Slice wrote:
This has been a problem for years. I also have difficulty judging when a conversation is private and when they are happy for other people to join in.

Vanilla_Slice


I also have this problem.
I'll quite often join in a conversation and have someone say to me, "I wasn't talking to you!".

Also with general interrupting, I often get accused of that too but I don't understand why because I'm doing exactly what everyone else is doing, adding themselves to a conversation! When I think someone has finished talking I say what I want to say, only to be told to wait my turn, but I don't know when that is. :?


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cosmiccat
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24 Jul 2009, 6:11 pm

Quote:
My civilian supervisor in the military though had an art. When I'd inadvertantly interrupt him, he would make a big deal with shutting his mouth and turning his head away as if he was silently protesting the interruption and refusing to listen to what I have to say until I listen to what he had to say. It was the most


My husband does this to me all the time. Makes me furious.



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24 Jul 2009, 11:43 pm

Its pretty embarrassing being talked down to like a grade 1 kid in a high school for "interrupting" by a teacher :oops:


I avoid that in college by not talking to anyone much and only talking to the instructors when they are in their office.


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25 Jul 2009, 12:38 am

If you can't tell that you're interrupting,

You're definitely AS ! !! !


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25 Jul 2009, 4:21 am

Last night was having dinner with some friends and this one person would talk so much and so fast. I was lost, but I kept noticing I didn't want to interrupt. So much for my statement before.
But bloody hell that girl could sure talk.
What I do in group conversations in say a comment to one person that stops listening to the person talking and try and strike up my own conversation with them.


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