Afraid to go to college...going with people that I HATE.

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

seb1389
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

25 Jul 2009, 9:36 pm

Hey guys this is seb I just joined in the community.

Basically, Im starting college in less than a month....2 weeks to be exact.
Im extremely scared ><.

Ill explain why.

I just finished high school last year...and yeah I was frequently verbally bullied because I have a wierd name/surname...as stupid as it sounds they took it to a whole nother level...from making rhymes that had to do with for example: cocks...(penises lol)....to using wierd anoying accents when calling my name...

This started like 4 years ago when an idiot noticed that my surname rhymed with ·"%·%&...and everybody cracked up and since I had never been bullied I didnt know how to react...so I let it pass....oh oooo...but idea. Everybody started teasing me after that by calling me names and throwing stuff at me...from pencils to scizzors...just kidding...to rubbers... :(.

So...my reputation went down...I lost most of my friends because I was so afraid to go out in the weekends and my confidence levels were down the toilet....so I started playing MMORPGS and never came back until now...

The bullying stopped progresively but I still get called names even by semi-close friends...

I used to think way back when I was little and I watched movies how it would feel to be bullied when it had not start and then I regret thinking about that :(.

Im not sure if I have aspegers, I have another syndromme but its physical and I dont want to talk about it.... but my social skills are quite terribad...they are getting better...they used to be worse.

Well thats the background story...

Usually most people say that college is a place where you can start fresh...nobody knows you and you can be whoever you want....but...what if thats not the case? and what if you're going to the same college were around 15 people from your school are going to?

Well thats my case, and it f****n SUCKS. I really hate it....I wanted a second chance and it looks like Im gonna have to see the people I hate the most through all of my college years...YAYYY111...my life blows.

So Ive spent most of the summer changing my freakin look so this people dont recognize me...Im really obsessing and I wanted to loose a lot more weight than what I have lost but Im starting to think that hiding wont fix the problem at all...sooner or later they will recognize me...

Oh what a small world.

I dont wanna start making new friends in college and when I go out of the class the people that used to be at my school will be shouting mean names at me...

So, does anybody have tips for what to do in my situation?

Right now Im just gonna have to be strong and yell at them to shut the f**k up and swear at them I guess but sometimes my confidence levels are so low that I dont answer and stay quiet and shy...and yeah this sucks so much god damnit....

HELP ME!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ARGHHHHHHHHH!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !



Last edited by seb1389 on 26 Jul 2009, 12:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aoi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 683

25 Jul 2009, 10:09 pm

Welcome to WP. I was bullied and harassed K-12 because of my name, lack of social skills, and other factors. But I didn't even realize it until I was in my 20s. I was and remain quite oblivious socially. That has a lot of disadvantages, I discovered. Either way, I spent high school playing D&D (back in the 80s), and did go to college. With people I knew from high school.

But college changes a lot of things. Even if you don't change, your high school peers may decide to act more "grown up" and lose interest in your name. That's what I saw happen. My name and lack of social skills were far less interesting that sex, drugs, alcohol, and whatever else it is college students do. I basically never found out, because I didn't socialize.

Don't change to please other people or fit in. I've seen and heard too many stories about how that doesn't work. I tried it a bit but lack the skills to pull it off. Even in my best attempts to be "normal" I still come across as very different. Aspies, or even just those with AS traits, are reportedly easy for NTs to identify.

Study stuff you like, do things outside class you enjoy, pursue any special interest you have, and you're more likely to meet people who you get on with. If your first name is a problem, adopt a nickname.

I hope others here on WP can add to my suggestions. College was a long time ago for me, so fresh experiences and ideas might be more useful. In any case, good luck with it all.



ViperaAspis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,083
Location: Portland, OR

26 Jul 2009, 4:36 am

In my experience, college is a TOTALLY different world. You're going from people who hate to be there and want to "stick it to the man" (high school) to people who are PAYING to be there and are going to make studies a much higher priority. Things will get even better as you advance in college and specialize. Seniors are looking towards careers or grad schools and you won't encounter many (if any) who are so petty.

I suspect you'll like it infinitely more than crappy high school. I'm sooooo glad that's over.


_________________
Who am I? This guy! http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt97863.html


ChangelingGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,640
Location: Netherlands

26 Jul 2009, 6:45 am

Like aoi says, maybe your former peers will have better thigns tod o than bully you. College is so different from high school you know? Also, you may be able to make friends and hang out with people who aren't from your old school but are in your college class. Those kids don't know that you were bullied in school. And should you run into former peers out of class, these new peers won't know them so are less likely to be pulled into bullying you by your old peers.



Rain_Bird
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 347

26 Jul 2009, 11:33 am

Just remember, there will be plenty of new people at college. You might never even see anyone you went to high school with. I know there are people from my high school at my college, but I've yet to be in any class with them or even run into them on campus.



amazon_television
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,605
Location: I woke up on 7th street

26 Jul 2009, 12:14 pm

When I went to college there were about 15-20 people I knew from high school that went to the same school. Four of them were friends of mine to varying degrees and I stayed in touch with them, but as for the others, it was VERY rare that I just ran into them randomly on campus or in town. I did go to a very large university (like 25,000 undergrads), but I imagine you are doing the same if there are 15 people from the same high school class all going there... You might run into someone here and there, but they will have little (if any) impact on your college experience.



seb1389
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

26 Jul 2009, 12:58 pm

amazon_television wrote:
When I went to college there were about 15-20 people I knew from high school that went to the same school. Four of them were friends of mine to varying degrees and I stayed in touch with them, but as for the others, it was VERY rare that I just ran into them randomly on campus or in town. I did go to a very large university (like 25,000 undergrads), but I imagine you are doing the same if there are 15 people from the same high school class all going there... You might run into someone here and there, but they will have little (if any) impact on your college experience.


I dont really live in USA... :/ and the colleges here are quite different and much smaller...the freshman area is quite small and I will most likely see everybody :(

Thanks guys.

I just dont wanna feel threatened all the time and I dont wanna hide so people wont be calling me stuff and embarassing me infront of the new people I meet which would suck hardcore...



Katie_WPG
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 492
Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada

26 Jul 2009, 3:24 pm

In college, people stick to their subjects, and you stick to yours. It's not that common to run into everyone you knew in high school. Even if you find yourself in a class or two with your former bullies, just pay attention to what the professor is saying and avoid them. If you have to work on a group project, seek out strangers. In college, people don't care as much about being best friends with everyone in their group projects.



Jellybean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,795
Location: Bedford UK

26 Jul 2009, 3:44 pm

I don't know where you live but I am in the UK and I am going to college this year. I am terrified because it is the first time I am going without support. Hopefully your college is a bit like mine eg. you go there because you want to not because you have to. In these situations, bullying is less likely to happen. That's not to say it DOES'NT happen because I was bullied at my previous college by a bunch of complete strangers. My only advice to you is no matter how much the bullies bug you, keep telling on them (There's no harm in a quiet chat with a tutor or someone else you trust) and above all don't give up on your studies. If you leave the college without a qualification that is like telling the bullies 'you've won' which is what I did and I am regretting it. Trust me, I know what it is like to be bullied and it's not nice at all. All I can say now is good luck and try to enjoy your time at college. :wink:


_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite ;) )


visagrunt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Vancouver, BC

09 Nov 2009, 2:06 am

I went to an undergraduate school in Canada with only 1700 students. I left a dismal social situation in school (all boys school, 79 in my year), to a better one in University. I spent seven years in total at University, and each year was successively better than the last.

I was among my intellectual peers, studying subjects that I was interested in, and pursuing my interests with people who shared them. It made a huge difference to my emotional maturity, and my ability to relate to people.


_________________
--James


FreeSpirit2000
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 7 Aug 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 283
Location: Somewhere

04 Jan 2010, 4:32 am

I know how you feel, there is one person I particularly dislike and has one person that he me manipulates (meaning this guy I dislike pretends to be a freind of someone I know but just simply uses him for his evil plans), and this person I dislike is really annoying, but I don't mind what he does and I don't let him get to me at all. Because if you let someone get to you while being a pain in your butt, while you fall for their traps, it will be like High School or Middle School all over again. So it is better to ignore the people that you dislike and to not stoop to their level. This is all I can say. Concentrate on passing your classes, be around people that are positive and not a pain in the ass and deal with professors as well as counselors who will be helpful and encouraging instead of being poor sports who tell you to not go for your dreams and desires. But you should be realistic at the same time as well.



black220
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 21

17 Jan 2010, 2:05 am

I doubt that people will give you a hard time about your name at university level, but if you have an unusual sounding name that draws attention and that bothers you, I suggest you change your surname. In my opinion, the corporate environment is similar to the crap in high school and people will judge you according to dumb things like your name. I also have a funny sounding surname (which thankfully doesn't rhyme with any english words), and I really regret not changing it years ago.