a little confused about this site and other people with A.S.

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Okay, many of you on here state that you are "so proud of being an Aspie" but yet the same people who claim they are proud complain about having Aspergers and the emotional hell and isolation that it causes. And you will probably argue "oh, I do like being an Aspie, I just wish neurotypicals would be understanding of us".



C'mon now. If you had to choose.. would you really choose to be someone that will permanently have impaired social skills (or at least regular motivation for socialization will never come naturally), learning disability, uncontrollable need for stimming, and intense interests in obscure subjects? Along with being treated like a doormat by your peers and creating emotional stress on your family members?

Or would you rather live a rich normal life free of autism, enjoying the fruits of true human relationships, school, and being connected with life and insteead of being connected with yourself / ourselves all the time?

Do not get me wrong. I am not at all insulting Aspies or saying they are inferior. I have it, and the negative aspects of it permeate every second of my waking life. I used to know a couple of other boys that had it, and they too felt the same. How can you ignore the happiness of neurotypicals around you?

And I have noticed that probably at least 25% of you are atheists. I don't know if this in a trend in all young people or just people with A.S. How can you place so much importance on having a "high IQ" if life really has no inherent purpose? If you are an atheist and believe that life itself has no inherent purpose - why is having a "high IQ' so damn important? Afterall, for the sake of argument, after you die nothing no longer exists in your reality. Your consciousness is gone ---- for the sake of the argument.

I play with the cards I've been dealt*. I don't b***h, and if people have a problem with my "stimming" (no one close to me has), my lack of ability to interact with my peers (I don't actually care, as I'm an introverted individual, and again, no one near me cares), and the other problems that come with an ASD (again, close people don't care), that's their problem, not mine.

*Which is autistic, an atheist, apathetic, schizoid, OCD, and what have you, plus being of a "high IQ" make.

The belief in the supernatural or lack thereof doesn't give life any inherent meaning other than what you choose to apply to it.

So, uh, what's your point other than...nothing?

Short answer (longer one to follow when I am not at work): I do not have a serious learning disability or seriously impaired social skills. I am not treated as a doormat. My mother said I was very easy to raise and that I didn't really do anything wrong. My parents are proud of me. My colleagues get on with me. I have true, deep relationships, and even a great number of shallow ones too!

In my own case, disadvantages of my own autism are no greater than the disadvantages of being neurotypical.

It would be great not to have to have meltdowns. I would have liked to have been included by my peers when I was at school. It would be great not to have to have ADHD.

But if this is the price I must pay to have all the benefits of focus, the enjoyment of systems thinking, and all the advantages when it comes to resisting the temptation to conform, I can live with it. Being has also made me conscious of the needs of so many people who struggle with things ranging from poverty to mental disabilities. I have more empathy with many of such people than neurotypical people do. I want to be this way.

That's just me.

If I were made not-autistic, I would not be me.
I wish to remain me.
Sometimes it sucks being me. But it sucks to be anyone at points in time.
Being non-autistic does not equal an automatic happiness at all. I could point to many examples.

What is wrong with that argument? Autism is not something you can change, you are born with it and you have it forever. If society treats you like an outcast because of this, then I do not think the blame should lie with what you inherently are but with how other people treat you.



I do not have a learning disability and I have not stimmed since I was a child. I have never been treated like a doormat and I do not cause excessive emotional stress on my family (I am sure occasionally I stress them out but I would do so even if I was an NT). You should not generalise about the experiences of those with AS. But, I do not see what the big deal is with having impaired social skills and my intense interests. I have friends who I get on with and I love my interests. Others may not have any interest in friends at all, there is nothing intrinsically bad about that.



No, I would not.



Not directly, no. But you are implying it.



Well you are unlucky then, if you have such problems with it. But do you think unhappiness is restricted only to those with AS? My brother is NT but suffers from depression. I have never suffered from depression myself. Many NTs are unhappy, and many people with AS are very happy, its not something that you can guarantee one way or another depending on whether you have AS or not... being an NT is no protection against being unhappy.



Really? Can you please provide your source. Thank you.



I am an atheist but my life has purpose (at least, since I left a fundamentalist Christian church, it does). My purpose is to be as happy as I possibly can. It is going well so far.



Yes I agree that when one dies, their consciousness dies too. I do not see why this makes life without a purpose. It just means that you have a number of years in which to live your life in whatever way you choose. I do not see how placing importance on having a high IQ is relevant to what one sees the purpose of life to be. You seem to be relating to separate concepts to make a point that does not make sense at all.

And that is different from any group of people's, or any individual's, attitudes, how?


Does come really close to looking that way.


Same as how they can ignore my happiness.


For the purposes of polling on the "Your consciousness is gone ---- for the sake of the argument." point, count me among those who hold that consciousness continues after death of the body.
And that it may even have existed before the body it is currently attached to had life.


On those points, I do.

You are kidding, right? Why would I want to be some dumb as dirt "average" person?
At school should I worry about being a Jock or a Cheerleader or being "popular"?

Do I have "odd" interests? Perhaps I should be interested in fashion and celebrity gossip and sport.

I must try to be a "party animal" so that I can get drunk, listen to ghastly music and tell lies to members of the opposite sex.

Am I proud of my high IQ? Sure, why not? Should I wish to be dumb?
Like very many people here, my personality type is INTJ. Perhaps I should be an extroverted person who feels rather than thinks.

As for religion, my mother was pleased when at the age of three I deduced that Santa Claus could not logically exist.
She was not pleased when at the age of four I deduced that the entire Bible story was a fairy tale.

I'm proud of being an Aspie, and I want it to stay that way. I don't contradict myself either.

I've learnt to live with it, sometimes I have problems with socialising, but they get resolved easily, and quickly. The only problem I have is living with Clinical Depression.

I used to be treated like a doormat, by my peers, but I've learnt to stand up for myself now.

That is all.

Last edited by Alternative on 28 Jul 2009, 7:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

who would like u if not u?


C'mon now. If you had to choose.. would you really choose to be someone that will permanently have impaired social skills (or at least regular motivation for socialization will never come naturally), ? Along with being treated like a doormat by your peers and creating emotional stress on your family members?

i do have uncontrollable need for stimming time to time , and intense interests in obscure subjects but im not being treated like doormat

happiness of neurotypicals? all they do is cry after womens and tease each other...at least most of em

even i have problems with meltdowns i still like being aspie

So, I'm leaving the whole proud to be/envious of others thing, because it really makes no sense to me, caring on way or the other, because it is what it is. This part though just seems weird to me.

If there's no life after death, what does any of it matter? Why is anything you hold important matter? It matters right now, of course, because you're still alive, but after you're gone, only tangiable things you left are there. If you think you're smart or funny or sweet or whatever, what does it matter? I just don't get that paragraph.

I am not proud for being an Aspie. I don't think everything about AS is good. I don't say there is nothing about myself I want to change. I don't say that neurotypicals are the reason for all of my distress. But I still don't want to be turned into someone I am not, ie. a neurotypical. I have another disability which has nothing to recommend it whatsoever to most people who don't have it, ie. blindness, and even so I wouldn't want to be cured of that, either. The reason for that is that being cured would mean as much adjustment as it means to someone suddenly going blind, but with less understanding from the nondisabled world (who all believe that if you're nondisabled now you must be functioning alright). With AS there is the additional thing that there are actually features of it that I consider positive, ie. my ability to perseverate on a topic for a long time (helps with studying).

MInd you, I am not a radical, militant Aspie pride person. There are certainly ways in which AS impairs me, and quite a few actually. But still, that doesn't mean I have no enjoyment because of my AS.

I thought I'd be offended, but I'm not. You do bring up a good point.

I am not "proud" to be aspie, nor am I ashamed. It's just there, not doing anything amazing. I don't regret being an aspie. The isolation and inherent sadness Aspergers causes also makes me so intelligent and observant of my "normal" human counterparts.

I'm like those astronauts stranded in space and alone, but able to see the earth in it's true blue beauty as a tiny marble in space. All the people too close to the earth's crust to see the whole thing will want to know what it looks like from deep space, I will happily give them what they asked because that is all I see.

Last edited by SplinterStar on 28 Jul 2009, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

The isolation does get to me, I can't deny that. But I can make friends, up to a point. There does need to be a focus for this to happen though - I'm bloody awful at going up at talking to people.

Other people have problems too - they just have different ones. So that needs to be kept in mind.

And as for a cure? Nope. Too much like eugenics for me.

I'd rather keep my AS. Sure, I don't like the not-so-good social skills but I can make some friends. And I like my obsessions, and my AS isn't making me depressed or anything.

Someone sounds a little angry