wrong=hate?

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i'm really struggling to cope these days. i feel like no matter what i say or do, it's wrong.........mostly what's bothering me though is that my son has this idea that if anyone disagrees with him, it is because they hate him. so, if i disagree with the book he's reading, it's because i hate him....if his teacher disagrees with the way he's doing/not doing something~ it's because she hates him....if his brother is irritated with him for eating the last ice cream, it's because he hates him....i just can't seem to reason with him about this at all. sometimes i think he says this for sympathy or to just get out of consequences. i just don't know what to do about this anymore. it is so terribly frustrating~ sometimes i jsut don't have the energy to press the issue.

I am a twenty six year old male Aspie and if anyone ever disagrees with me I say it is because they "hate" me.

I like to see things in black and white terms and if someone is trying to get me to do something I hadn't planned to do, I see it as "hate"

With my son, it's the same but I realized it was the lack of a better word. Like the other post said, he sees things in black and white and that's ds too. Until I kept reinforcing different words that would express what he really felt about it (the gray area). Not that he got it over night or over week if you know what I mean...it's a bit better now then it was when he was 11-14 at 17 he's starting to see the gray area in some things not all things. Good luck...it's frustrating I know since I use too see things black and white, unfortunately I still do in many things but I do try to catch myself and think through what I feel or said but it is very exhausting so I feel for your son as well as my own...its mind exhausting.

Yup, we hear hate a lot here too - usually it's *I hate you mom!* whenever he needs to do something that he doesn't want to do.

I know it's his inability to handle anger so we did like the momofanaspie - started teaching him new, less harmful words. Now he yells, *Just be quiet mom!* and that is a huge gain. We also try to explain to him how his actions sometimes do the same to us. If he doesn't like it, neither do we.

Another thing we're trying is rating the response. We try to identify if it really deserves a *10* or if maybe a *3* would be better. It's a slow process and I have to show him what a 3 or 5 would look like, but we're trying.

I'm the same way. I wish I could offer some help to the parents in this thread. I don't like disagreements, debates, and criticism because I feel personally attacked. I'm not sure if it's the AS or if part of it's a product of the way people treated me as a kid.

i think my son takes it as a personal threat. it's just terribly frustrating, and some days it so very hard to respond appropriately ~ some days i really do wish that he didn't take such a negative view of life.