Reading and Writing body language

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Okay, I'm sure we all know about the problems Aspies and Auties have with reading body language, so I don't want to discuss that too much. What I'm interested in is writing body language. Do you find that NTs find it difficult to read your body language, and often make mistakes?

I've been told I don't really have much body language, so I suppose NTs would find little there to read. I've also been told that I am very hard to read, and have frequently been asked what I was thinking or feeling, since apparently the person asking simply could not tell.

I can't keep a straight face some times, so it can be easier to read me some times.

Then again, I say some things without much information externally----like, we don't put as much stock in body language because we don't read it so we don't practice it very much. So while there is body language its probably either not shown or shown very obviously.

Same here. By the way, I have no trouble reading people. But they can't read me. My normal self is still and quiet, and stress can make me go utterly frozen and mute. I don't know how many times people have pointed this out in my life - still waters, hard to get to know, aloof, and my personal favorite, an enigma... no wait, my favorite is bubblegirl Back when I was seeing shrinks two and three decades ago, my flat emotionless expression made them think I had some kind of post traumatic stress thing (not) and wanted to hypnotize me (I declined). My sister, also on the spectrum, actually was diagnosed with PTSD.

I can read people up to a point, it's just the visual subtleties that I don't always get.

People's emotional tone of voice I can gauge quite well, probably better than facial expression.

I also can't often tell if someone means to talk to me or someone else if they say "Hello", especially in a crowd situation. I often have no idea if the person is waving at me or someone else so it often takes a few seconds to register. I wouldn't have much of a clue as to how to approach people and say "Hello", so I don't usually, because I don't want to intrude if they're busy or trying to talk to someone else. I used to make terrible mistakes approaching people. That's why I usually have to wait for other people to approach me first: it's a pain, but can't really be helped.

I just can't help wondering if I've been brought up in an environment where direct eye contact wasn't used as much as elsewhere or where visual, emotional signals were simpler and more obvious.

I saw this because I've often found that I can't keep up with what's going on socially outside the few friends and family I do know: I find the pace too fast and the signals too subtle. I freeze, look away or just crawl quietly into a corner if I'm bewildered and don't know what to do, if it's all the signals are coming at me too intensely or too fast.

I have had a few "complaints" from people that couldn't read me at times.

I've often been asked if I'm "Alright." probably because people see me on my own a lot and because I can't initiate conversations easily, if at all.


As for "writing body language" I wonder about animation: drawing/modeling body language and facial expressions and representing these in symbolic/simplified forms.

That's what first went through my mind when you mentioned "writing body language", so sorry.

I suppose that's as close to "writing body language" without actually doing it as one can get.
Body language requires third and fourth dimensions that the written word doesn't really do justice to.

Yes.

I wonder if there are any handy, pocket sized facial expression and body language identification guides available?

But often in the moment, a static photographic or a drawing of a generic smiling face wouldn't really do justice to interpreting how the whole situation is progressing socially or the emotional/relational complexity. You have to be able to take in the whole scene and how people's whole bodies are moving

Also there'd be the issue of having to constantly look down at the book to identify emotions.

Human beings tend to move around a lot and can change position really quickly. As a general rule, mushrooms and inanimate objects don't: they stay put so one can identify them easily using a book.

Looking facial expressions/body language in a book might be misconstrued as rude because you'd have to look away from the person you're trying to communicate with to look up each gesture (at least to start with). It's possible to learn and get better, so you might not have to keep looking down at the book as frequently.


I wonder if there are such things as body language phrase books for other cultures?

There's also the issue of what your appropriate response would be to someone's gesture and the myriad of social outcomes. That may be too complex to put easily into a reference book. Perhaps universal principles would be better, but there'd always be exceptions to these "rules".

I have experienced that complete strangers who passed me by when I was sitting on a bench in the city in my own deep thoughts, asked me if I was okay. Hmm I don't know what I look like when thinking deeply, but I certainly felt okay, but might not have looked okay for some reason.
It was quite disturbing (but the meaning was good).

Hmmm. It seems like a conversation between an Aspie and an NT would have to be entirely verbal, since neither would be able to read the others body language.

Although people are apparantly losing the 'skill' of being able to read body language, due to increased internet usage... so they're becoming more Autistic all the while they try stomping it out Well, at least it will put us on an equal footing.

Most of us have seen these charts on the walls of our local office of inner-child quackery in denial specialist.

In my case, I never even considered much less comprehended facial expressions - mine or others.
This was presented to me in a very straight forward way (for some reason).
She said "take a look at what humans really look like inside", I will never forget it, I was floored to the point of studying each one, and mimicking each one as I went down the list. Seems like an hour later she said, "amazing stuff huh...you are human too you know".

This happened to relatively late in life, prior to that, I was completely unaware of what we are all capable of feeling, and how these feelings are expressed. The fact that I am a man, most certainly makes me immune from such things. Well, needless to say, I had to redefine my concept of what "grown up" means.

Truth is, I didn't start growing till I stopped dieing, meaning that I was bound to a self that had no other interest other than it's own self. My emotions after all, where mine and nobody elses business, and what I feel has nothing to do with other people. Yet I wondered why people treated me the way they did.

I have since considered the possibility that maybe I am responsible for my emotions, and blaming other people or things, is a step backwards. Rambling now...got to stop the madness.

I had great difficulty to display about anything but tears, but learnt to display a couple of/many/no idea how many expressions and adequate expressions as a young adult.

"Writing body language"...I like it!

I'm pretty hopeless at using body language. My wife constantly asks me "What's wrong? Why are you making that face?" and I've always had people ask why I'm "upset" when I'm not. I've probably gotten better at reading body language over the years, but it still isn't real time, and not nuanced at all, so I tend to be oblivious in conversations.

It would be amazing to drop an NT into a group of Aspergers... and watch as the instantly fit the criteria for Aspergers Well, at least criteira A1 - the inability to understand body language

:lmao:

:salut:

If those people with AS had body language, though.

Given the opportunity,
I'm sure a group of Aspies could invent a couple new ones