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Do you think self described "nice" guys are realy
Sweet guys who like flowers and kittens and would never be nice to someone simply because of lust or infatuation, but are commonly mistaken for gay. 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
Cops, Figherfighters, Paramedics, Soldiers, and others who live in dangerous and auster conditions, who have a secret death wish or homicidal fantasy masked by a self professed desire to serve the community. 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
Social cowards who won't stand up for themselves or others 5%  5%  [ 2 ]
A guy who would not protect his woman in a dangerous situation. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
A Nerd who spend all day living in a self absorbed fantasy world of manga, video games, and porn who suddenly finds himself in "love" with a pretty woman who talked to him because she didn't want to be rude. 26%  26%  [ 11 ]
People who use the word "nice" as a crutch for social akwardness 14%  14%  [ 6 ]
A guy with an extreem and unwield moral compass, that refuses to comprimise the "truth" to save someones feelings, and thinks that being a virgin or recycling makes him better than everyone else. 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
None of the Above-Nice guys finish last because it's all womens fault 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Any one or more of the above 38%  38%  [ 16 ]
Total votes : 42

MsDoubt
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06 Aug 2009, 6:33 pm

AnnaLemma wrote:
MsDoubt wrote:
What's your point? may I ask?. You can explain and tell me if I am wrong, because I may be.


Don't know that I had a point, just observing that these guys had a pretty stressful time of it and some of it was because they felt singled out by events that happen to everyone. They beat themselves up a lot and couldn't bring themselves to be philosophical and learn from their results. I felt sorry for them and felt thankful that I was retired from dating, since it is pretty traumatic for everyone. I have never been even average-looking, and now I am old, on top of it. I didn't date till I was 18 and married at 24, but it was a very stressful process for me. If my husband dies first, chances are, I won't marry again. That is just how it is. Your experience is your experience.


lol you're damn real



I-ron_Man
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06 Aug 2009, 7:00 pm

I am actually not any of those people, and I am a "nice guy" in that I generally respect people for who they are, although I don't blame me not having a girlfriend on it. I think the main reason I have trouble finding girls is because I don;t really have anything that any of them would be interesting, I am not very good looking, not funny in a way that most people can appreciate, and generally very apathetic about everything, which is probably mistaken for lack of confidence and self esteem. And there is quite probably a girl in the corner somewhere who likes, i just wish to God i was able to know who it was!

Not really complaining here, just letting you know that not all people who can't get a girlfriend say that its because there "nice guys".



pandabear
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06 Aug 2009, 7:08 pm

Here is an interesting take on the "nice guy"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIxWr91u3ko&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div[/youtube]



MsDoubt
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06 Aug 2009, 7:24 pm

Yup. But don't go over there w/o any money lol, cuz you need to support them, then all is well. All guys can get a beautiful woman, he just has to get the right one. And dont listen to those people who say "Oh just get the ugly one because she likes you for you" Ok great, but how happy will you be. I read an article saying that men who believe that there wives are beautiful or more attractive than them; the men find it easier to love them and have a happier marriage or relationship.



techstepgenr8tion
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06 Aug 2009, 10:11 pm

MsDoubt wrote:
Yup. But don't go over there w/o any money lol, cuz you need to support them, then all is well. All guys can get a beautiful woman, he just has to get the right one. And dont listen to those people who say "Oh just get the ugly one because she likes you for you" Ok great, but how happy will you be. I read an article saying that men who believe that there wives are beautiful or more attractive than them; the men find it easier to love them and have a happier marriage or relationship.


And I hate that, as in I've met so many girls who would have been great for me if I could have been into em - couldn't do a thing with it. For whatever reason, just in my presets, I don't even like it like this, I can't be attracted to much less than a 7 or 7 1/2/10, hate the 'number' system but that's about the closest thing to an expedient explanation I can give. I've had the thought in the past - I'm a deep thinker, I have a lot more emotional depth than a lot of guys I know, I should be able to just resolve that one on my own and do fine without it, the times I've tried dating girls who in my books were in the 4-6 range, even with personalities that turned me on in writing or on the phone - fighting it is like oil and water; oil always comes out on top, its like trying to fight the concrete or a brick wall - the wall is going to win.

That's exactly why I can't be too rough on women with their own particularisms. If trying to be attracted to a geeky guy is like trying to push two huge positive or negative magnets together and hold them together, every single second on the clock of trying to be together, I can't empathise more with their urge to avoid that situation altogether because there's no beating it. I hang back a lot more but its really in me sizing personalities up and trying to figure out the mechanics of who can see the best in me, who based on their wiring would really feel like I was adding a lot of value to their life or giving them an outlet to completely put their guard down and be their best self to the fullest; even have an outlet to exercise their absolute best self and push the limits of that self higher and higher - that's what I see myself really craving, what I want in someone else, just that I've learned that even with someone who has all of those elements lined up in a row beautifully; if I'm not physically attracted - that's the prime gateway, nothing beyond that can compensate it.

BTW MsDoubt, I really wanted to commend you on what you've said so far - as in you are calling a lot of things the way they are, truthfully the lopsidedness of gender and the specializations pros/cons are very genetic. That last part though is why at this point in my life I can see a flock of girls after guys who are in and out of jail, why I can meet girls like that who'd say they love me to death but tell me that I'd need to be more of an a--hole, that I'm not acting prick-confident or cocky, true I don't have it in me genetically to be that - I've learned that my nervous system has a neural superhighway bisecting that little street - cement baricades, about 20 feet of treelawn, sound retaining walls, the whole works; the apperatus in present form doesn't exist. *But*, what all of this has taught me is that we're not in control, maybe some ultra-vain sorts could be crushed down and made better from it but it seems like everyone else really does have many impassible limits within themselves and especially where every strand of DNA is screaming *STOP* - if you still charge ahead your feet'll sabatog you on the pavement at the expense of your chin and forarms. For as well as it can be scientifically explained, we truly do live in a crazy reality don't we :roll: :wink: .



sg33
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07 Aug 2009, 12:13 am

See The "Nice Guys" archive at Heartless b*****s International.



r1x
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07 Aug 2009, 2:52 am

You should not get in a relationship with someone your not attracted to. Attraction is both chemical and physical. I find most women increadably boring. I actually find most people incredibly boring. And I find them as anoying and insulting as they find me.

My X was a b**ch, but she was not boring. We would fight and make up and it was always very physical. We both said we had a Klingon mating style. She was plane. Not ugly, not pretty, but just medocre. But we had "chemistry", as disfuctional as it was.

The most fun I ever had in my life was a three month trist with the most disfuctional, irresponsble women I ever dated. I probably cheeted on me constantly, now that I look back on it. I didn't care, she was fun..a lot of fun. I had no expectations of long term commitment from her anyway. You might say she was a jerk, but the pay off-something to do on the weekend without any expectation of long term commitment, was well worth it. Of course, she was out of my league in attractiveness, so that helped too. But there was "chemistry", even if it was only hedonistic.

I now have an absolutly wonderfull, attractive, super nice fully functioning uber-NT wife, with a fully functioning NT step daughter. They both love me very much. I sometimes sit in a corner with tears in my eyes because I am SO FREAKING BORED at the house. I tell them it's PSD from Afghanistan, but seriously, I lay awake at night thinking about killing myself, because my life is so domesticaly perfect I want to die. My wife's niceness requires reciprocation. Her desire to create a domestic heaven for our family is draining me of my will to live.

So I get girls who don't like boring guys. Perhaps they are simply self aware. Niceness reqires Niceness to be reciprocated, which is constricting. Dating an irresponsible jerk releaves a person of responsibility, which is freeing and exciting.



MsDoubt
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07 Aug 2009, 3:06 am

lol reminds me of a book I saw on the net called "Why Men Love b*****s" i read a preview saying its because its a challenge. and men usually marry controlling women.

idk how true this is.



r1x
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07 Aug 2009, 3:57 am

I skimmed through that book, because I was one of them. The author basicaly re-defines "bi**ch" to mean confidence. She opens every chapter by re-defining the word.

Bottom line is that I ALWAYS KNOW WHAT HAD ON THIER MIND. My first marrage was to a screemer. Now I'm married to a cryer. But I still know what's on her mind, it just makes me sad instead of angry. If someone screems at you, you can screem back. You can't fight back when a woman cries, it's no fair. Crying back doesn't help. Yelling doesn't help. You can hug her, but you just lost the fight then.

I can't read faces (other than sexual cues..yes, I was tested, and it is the only thing I pick up on).

So I got pretty good at spotting a woman that was interested in physicaly. But had no clue when they were tired, bored, feeling sad, etc.. So I have to be with women who let me know in a totaly obvious way. I'm not the only guy like this..trust me.



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07 Aug 2009, 4:58 am

r1x wrote:
So I get girls who don't like boring guys. Perhaps they are simply self aware. Niceness reqires Niceness to be reciprocated, which is constricting. Dating an irresponsible jerk releaves a person of responsibility, which is freeing and exciting.


And what if a guy tells her he doesn't expect any reciprocation? She will probably tell him back that SHE is not comfortable not to reciprocate so she will rather walk away. Well, if she is uncomfortable not reciprocating, why is she comfortable to walk away? Doesn't the latter hurt a lot more than the former? So its like an "all or nothing thing". Yes you can let someone down, but only if you totally, completely let them down ... or if you DON"T let them down, you are obligated to give them everything that you owe -- whether they ask you or not.

It is the same kind of phenomena as setting a minimal wage which leaves a lot of people unemployed. All the unemployed aer ready to scerwam "Just pay me 10% of that minimal wage, I don't care, I just want to be off the streets". And then their employers tell them "yes YOU do caer" (telling THEM what THEY think), "stay on the streets!" (as if they don't care abut being on the streets)

NOw, THIS IS NOT JUST MY EXPERIENCE WITH DATING. That is with people in general. Back in 2006 I developed a bad reputation in physics department and I was going to be expelled until I find an advisor by June 1, 2006 (which I did, eventually). Anyway, due to my bad reputation it was very hard for me to find an advisor. But there were few people who gave me a shot, and with some of them I blew iti n the following way: I wanted to show them that I know what my interests are and where I am heading. So I went on in A LOT OF DETAIL describing my physics theory. Then they refused to work with me because they would not be able to accomodate me in my EXACT area of interest. Now, I DIDN"T CARE ABOUT THAT. I only wanted to get ANY DAMN PROJECT in order not to be expelled ! !! But no, they told ME what I care about and they told ME that yes I DO care about doing EXACTLY what I told them in my long monologue (and yes I was running after them and screaming that their percepton was wrong, so they HEARD my saying that I don't care about that specific area, they just assumed their perception of my wants is stronger than my own). ANd, since they care SO MUCH about what I care about, they also know that being expelled from school would not hurt me nearly as much as having to do anything an inch different from the project I suggested!

Going back to dating, yes it happened to me in dating a lot. For example two years ago I was with a girl named Anita, and at the point of her beraking up with me I left her a lot of messages on the answering mashine explaining why I did what I did and why I ddin't mean it the way it came across. Then she called back and left me one single message that said "I listened to all of your messages, and not a single one of them says Anita, please don't break up with me. Therefore, I am breaking up with you; deal with it and move on". So in other words she told ME what *I* tihnk: she said that since I didn't say a single time "please don't break up with me" it means I WANT her to break up with me -- never mind the fact taht the prupose of these calls was to stay together; she knows better what I *really* want.

When me and Anita was together, she literally put me on a pedestal and was ready to console me for HOURS for my every whim. So naturally, she was asking me "are you comfortable, aer you sure". Then one day I came from Israel and was sleepy because of the jet lag, and she kept asking me why were I upset. I couldn't really tell her, but she kept saying 'It is okay to be upset'. I couldn't ever tell her. Then the next day she blocked my phone number. I tried all kinds of ways to get her attention to no avail. Eventually I sent her an email for apology saying "I dn't know what I did wrong but whatever I did I am sorry". Her response was that it was because I "immediately started a pouting stage the next time she called; it is like whenever I don't get my way with her I either outpout or get all depressed". Then I tried to explain to ehr that was not it I was simply tired, and hse kept saying "are you done being full of yourself" or when I said it was misunderstanding I have to clarify she said "you want someone to treat you like a child and I refuse to do that, what kind of misunderstanding is it?"

Now here is a point. How come Anita was ULTRA-sheltering for 5 monhts of our relationship and then in the end she became ULTRA-rude? Perhaps hse has minimal wage policy. So her minimal wage is very high so she HAS to be either ultra sheltering or ultra-rude. And also notice how the "pouting" incident when she got REALLy mad was ALSO one of the incidents where she tried to be sheltering, since she was saying thngs like "it is okay to be depressed" when trying to get an answer out of me. In other words, she thinks I EXPECT that level of babysitting suvh as "it is okay to be depressed", even if I say I don't; and in order to refuse to do sometihg that I supposedly "expect" she has to break up completely: as she said "you expect smeone to treat you like a child and I refuse to do that".



Last edited by Roman on 07 Aug 2009, 5:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

LePetitPrince
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07 Aug 2009, 5:00 am

because they are hypocrites.



Cyanide
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07 Aug 2009, 5:48 am

I used to call myself a "nice guy" too, but then one day I realized that isn't so true. Sure, I treat the women I date well, but that's not the same as being a "nice guy". I usually don't do random good deeds, and I'm kind of selfish. But at least I can admit that to myself.



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07 Aug 2009, 5:48 am

Roman wrote:
Going back to dating, yes it happened to me in dating a lot. For example two years ago I was with a girl named Anita, and at the point of her beraking up with me I left her a lot of messages on the answering mashine explaining why I did what I did and why I ddin't mean it the way it came across. Then she called back and left me one single message that said "I listened to all of your messages, and not a single one of them says Anita, please don't break up with me. Therefore, I am breaking up with you; deal with it and move on". So in other words she told ME what *I* tihnk: she said that since I didn't say a single time "please don't break up with me" it means I WANT her to break up with me -- never mind the fact taht the prupose of these calls was to stay together; she knows better what I *really* want.

She wanted you to tell her: "Don't break up with me."
That's what she wanted to hear from you. Those simple words.
I can see that you're still not getting her point of view.

Justfying on and on and on does not mean "Don't break up with me".

As a foreigner in your language, I can say and I'm sorry to, that you did a very bad translation.
She was straight in what she said.
But you didn't hear the words.

My translation of what she said to you: "Stay with me."
Was that too simple to say?
Even afterwards?
She put the words in your mouth and you were not able to say the ones she longed to hear.

That's how I understand the all story from what you say. That also explains why she had to break up after a few wonderful months, why she coudn't do otherwise with you. It must be exhausting to go out with you.

Sorry if I sound harsh in my words, I don't want to hurt you. Just make you understand what you couldn't at the time.



Roman
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07 Aug 2009, 6:41 am

zena4 wrote:
Justfying on and on and on does not mean "Don't break up with me".


If it is a simple case of meaning of words, then she would have asked for clarification, or at least would have welcomed my own further clarifications (which only made her angrier). Also, her phrase "deal with this and move on" implies that she KNEW I was trying to get back together. So if she knew what I ment, the only interpretatin is that she thought I meant something I don't REALLY want. What I REALLY want is tested by whether I said these words. Since I didn't say them, I don't want to be together. But she assuems I am a sleepwalker, so I will push to be together even if I don't really want that, which is why she said "deal with it and move on".

Consider the following example. Suppose I am bad at pronouncing english words. So I want to say "flag", but it comes across as "f**k". Then I go on justifying "No no, I meant flag, it suonded differently because of my Russian accent". But from Anita's perspective it is my SUBCONSCIOUSNESS that causes me to mispronounce words the way I do. So while Anita KNOWS I really MEANT "flag", she also assumes that there is a deep subconscious thing that caused me to mispronounce it as "f**k" and she has to punish me for that subconsciousness.

zena4 wrote:
As a foreigner in your language, I can say and I'm sorry to, that you did a very bad translation.
She was straight in what she said.
But you didn't hear the words.

My translation of what she said to you: "Stay with me."
Was that too simple to say?
Even afterwards?
She put the words in your mouth and you were not able to say the ones she longed to hear.


Actually after I got that message I DID sent her an email with a title "Anita, please don't break up with me", and then in the body of the text I explained that I thought it was clear what it means. She DID come back, but it was for a short time.

Now the first message I got when she came back was said in a VERY loving voice and it was this: "Roman, it concerns me that you are not happy, do you reallize that all I want to do is make you happy?" So that again proves she attributes things to me. Also, a day BEFORE she came back, another reason besides my never saying please don't break up with me was that I was not happy: "being in a relationship with me does NOT mean you aer happy" (again, attributing thoughts to me), "hiding things from your mom does not solve your unhappiness; your unhappiness and unwillingness to change is what brought us where we aer" (so, I am presumably "unwilling to change" my unhappiness, so she thinks I am a masochist which again proves she attributes her OWN definition of happiness to em)

Now her assumption that I was unhappy was all based on my keepign her from my family. I told her at the beginning that I keep all girls I date from my famly, and she didn't object, she said if I want to keep her for 2 years thats fine too. But then she suddenly changed because when I talked to her on the phone and a neighbor passed by I hanged up a phone so that he won't tell my mom about her when my mom visits. That was her reason for the first time she broke up. NOw she didn't even know the REASON why I hanged t up, for all she knew it could have simply disconnected; when I kept calling her back she kept not picking up a phone so I didn't have chance to explain what went on. She simply said "go to the trip to Israel, re-think everything, and call me when you are back".

When I FINALLY got ahold of her I told her it was the hiding from my mom thing. And THEN she told me two things: if I keep her from my mom it means I am ashamed of her; and ALSO if I keep things from my mom it means I am not happy. I kept tellign her, no, keeping her from my mom has nothing to do with beign ashamed of her; it simply means that I want to pretend to my mom I am all abuot physica and nothing else. And, as far as being unhappy, thats not true either, and to prove it is not true I said "look I was keeping things from my mom since I was 12, and I was happy all the way until I was 21". Then as soon as I said "until I was 21" she responded in a VERY mechanical voice "you just answered your own question" and hanged up. I call her again, she picks up a phone, and, again, in a VERY mechanical voice says "you have just answered your own question" and hangs up again. Was she making fun of me or somethng? Did she DELIBERATELY make a mechanical voice in order to be a MASHINE that jumps on a one little clausure "until I was 21"?

That was when I started living her messages and she said "I listened to all your messages and not one of them says Anita please don't break up with me, therefore I am breaking up with you". SO then I DID WRITE TO HER EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID I SHOULD which is "Anita please don't break up with me". And then she responds that she wants me to calll her in the evening,. Meanwhile she lives a message IN A VERY NICE AND LOVING VOICE "Roman it concerns me that you aer not happy. All I want is to make you happy. I don't want to break up with you. I love you". So, did she assume it MAKES ME HAPPY if she breaks up? THAT is why I keep thinking she attributes thigns to me. ANd this is VERY SIMILAR to minimal wage policy where they assume it makes people "Unahppy" to have low vages so they better not hire them to "make them happy" or to how my potential advicers thought I would be "unhappy" if I were to work on something other than the EXACT topic of my interest so they have to refuse working with me "In order to make me happy", never mind how many times I tell them that I would be happy if I DO work with them.

Anyway, when she came back she was all over the question of how to make me happy, and again was overly nce. We were talking on a phone for few hours about thigns, and I liked that.

A week later I wnet to group trip Israel. Then when i came back from Israel in response to my email thjat I was back she sent me an email "It is raining" and then in the body she said "and everything is so fresh and new, for me it is, and thats where I say goodbye to you". Then I started calling her and asking why is she breaking up again. She couldn't answer. THen when finally she answered she said she has been out of town thats why she didn't call. Then I asked her what about that email where she broke up, she said she didn't. I asked what did she mean "and thats where I say goodbye to you", she said she sent that email BEFORE I went to Israel. I told her that I was checking email every day, and I only received it AFTER I came back, immideately after I sent her an email that I was back. SHe said she doesn't know, has to be something wrong with software.

ANYWAY, YES I BELIEVED HER that something was wrong with software, and I BELIEVED HER it was a goodbye email befoer I went to Israel. In fact, I again felt loved, because she told me how she was with a group of friends to whom she said that she has to go home and call me because I am probably missing her a lot. But you see my voice was still depressed. It was for a number of possible reasons:

1) Jet lag
2) People in Israel were making fun of my Asperger a lot
3) A couple of days before the end of het group trip when I was laughing in the holocaust museum someone WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY to literally tell everyone in a group (40+ people) RIGHT IN FRONNT OF ME just how horrible I was, and then when we were in a bus one of the girls told me "Not to talk or answer anyone else who tries to talk to me". Of course it made me depressed
4) Because I USED to worry about that email she sent me; YES I BELIEVED HER, but my body chemistry can't change within a second after believing her, so WHILE I HAVE BELIEVED HER, I was still depressed

I honeslty had no idea which of these 4, or possibly something else, might have caused my tone of voice to be "pouty". So I weren't answering her NOT because I thought it wasn't okay to be depressed, but simply because I DIDN"T KNOW what caused my tone of voice to be the way it was. But she kept saying 'It is okay to be depressed" trying to get me to answer. So I asnwered something random. It happened to be item nubmer 4. Why? Possibly because I just done asking her about 4, so it "happened" to be the very last thing on my mind, and I didn't have time to psychoanalyze myself to see iwhat might be reasons of why I was tired (and if that was number 1, then it won't even need psychoanalysis) THen still she was very supportive, she said "take a deep breath", I did. Then she said that she thinks I should go to bed to feel better. So I did.

Tomorrow my phone is blocked. I call her again and again, still blocked. I try calling from pay phone, she answers, I start speaking, the moment she hears my voice she hangs it up. I send her emails, no response. Then few days later I send her an email apologising for whatever I did wrong saying "I honestly don't know what I did wrong, but whatever I did I am trully sorry". THen she finally answers that it has to do with pouting. Then I tell her that I weren't pouting. Even though I said number 4, there aer two reasons why there was misunderstanding:

A. I were NOT saying I didn't beleive ehr; I DID. I simply said that I got a depressed BODY CHEMISTRY througouth the day because she didn't explain to me YET that the email didn't say what I thought it said. WHEN SHE EXPLAINED I BELIEVED HER< but my body chermistry hasn't altered yet, so I was still depressed in a sense of having low energy and stuff

B. I honestly have NO IDEA what was the major contributor to my depression, it is really a combination of ALL FOUR intems on the above list AND POSSIBLY MORE; since I didn't have time to remember them all when she asked me why I was depressed, I simply said it was the very last one simply because that was what we talked about, so it was the last one in my mind

Her response was "are you done being full of yourself?" I said "I don't mean to be full of myself, all I mean is that there is a misunderstanding" and then she said "you want someone to be treating you as a child and I refuse to do it, what kind of misunderstanding is it". AGAIN, she TELLS me what I want. SHe ASSUMES i want A LOT (i.e. being treatred like a child) which is why she was so overly sheltering me throughout the relationsihp, and she also ASSUMES that if she refuses to meet ALL of my needs (including the supposed need of treating me like a child) she should end contact. All of tehse assumptions aer wrong, but she wont' listen to me if I tell her what I really feel because shje assumes she knows my feelings better than I do.

zena4 wrote:
That's how I understand the all story from what you say. That also explains why she had to break up after a few wonderful months, why she coudn't do otherwise with you. It must be exhausting to go out with you.


Are you saying that the problem was that I didn't tell her that I loved her DURING the five months as opposed to the events described above which wre just a straw that broke camel's back? I am just asking for clarification of what you meant.

zena4 wrote:
Sorry if I sound harsh in my words, I don't want to hurt you. Just make you understand what you couldn't at the time.


No that is okay, I DO want to understand what happened, so I do want someoen to explain it, with harshness and all, lol.



Last edited by Roman on 07 Aug 2009, 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

r1x
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07 Aug 2009, 6:45 am

Roman wrote:
r1x wrote:
So I get girls who don't like boring guys. Perhaps they are simply self aware. Niceness reqires Niceness to be reciprocated, which is constricting. Dating an irresponsible jerk releaves a person of responsibility, which is freeing and exciting.


...they told ME what I care about and they told ME that yes I DO care about doing EXACTLY what I told them in my long monologue (and yes I was running after them and screaming that their percepton was wrong, so they HEARD my saying that I don't care about that specific area, they just assumed their perception of my wants is stronger than my own)...

.........."I listened to all of your messages, and not a single one of them says Anita, please don't break up with me. Therefore, I am breaking up with you; deal with it and move on". So in other words she told ME what *I* tihnk: she said that since I didn't say a single time "please don't break up with me" it means I WANT her to break up with me -- never mind the fact taht the prupose of these calls was to stay together; she knows better what I *really* want...


Anita is a Pink Ninja Vampire. She has reverse AS. Everything to her is about feelings and emotions and no sense of self. She has to leach onto someone else, make them feel special, which makes her feel special. Every sigh, she asks you what wrong. She falls head over heals in love with someone and "smothers" them. When her obsessive niceness is not returned *in the same amount*, she feels rejected, presses her "I'm a victim" button with the "he doesn't love me" parachute and moves on to her next "i can change him" project. In her world, "he has a job, friends, and hobbies" translates to "he hates me." So they start gravitating to nerds, who have fewer friends and even few past lovers. Let's face it, while you and Anita were first dating, you were totaly into her..right? You stopped whatever silly obsessions and hobbies and spent all your time talking with her. She dumped after you took a trip because it showed that you could live without her. Pink Ninja Vampires hate that.

Smothering is the female version of creepy, it's something that Mundane (NT) males run away from. Atypical (AS) males, happy that someone is even talking to them, often fall prey. They will all of a sudden become interested in what your interested in, which you mistake for commonality. They are always worried about everyones feelings, which means they will expect you to be worried about thiers all the time. If you don't constantly shower them with love, they will feel you don't care. These women will seem like a gift from God, placed on earth to shower you with love and attention and never complain about your dorky habbits. In reality they are calculating control freaks who want to possess you and turn you into a pu$$% whipped love zombie.

I'll translate what Anita was saying to you--"I spent months trying to turn you into an undead love slave who did not eat, drink, breath or use the restroom without thinking of how it would affect me. I thought it would be easy because you were a geek. I now see it isn't going to work and I'm off to find a man with weaker willpower. But I can't tell you that to your face, so I'm going to use your tiredness to tell all my girlfriends you completly ignored me so they won't think I'm actually the problem...and they will all tell me I'm to nice to these jerks".



zena4
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07 Aug 2009, 7:11 am

Roman, I can see that it's not as simple as it looked like first.
It's so complicated. Maybe she was just fed up of the situation and also confused herself?
You know, the kind of: "Should I stay or I should I go".

I quite agree now with what wrote r1x.
smoothering vs creeping.

But also, it's not that easy to get used to guess everytime you see someone smiling or laughing that it can be due to anxiety or pain or sadness or whatever.
Or even just think it could be. It's tricky for the 2 persons in relation :?