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feelings of despair

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LePetitPrince
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15 Aug 2009, 4:54 pm

KenM wrote:
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First, keep losing your over-weight , once you become well fit then try again. Don't believe what others tell you , the vast majority of girls can't be attracted to fat guys and forget about the rare exceptions. I saw your pic once , and man, you're fat. (back then , not sure how fat you are now).

So make this your goal instead: lose weight, forget about girlfriends right now.

Once you become fit you'll start feeling better about yourself too, it would boost your self-respect and confidence.

Only reconsider giving up if you keep failing after that.


The guy that shot up that gym and took out those women looked in shape. Proves just because you are in shape you will still get rejected.

I'm overweight myself. I'm happy with who I am. I will not go out and totally change my life just to get a girlfriend. They should like you for who you are. If they don't like you because you are fat then they are shallow. I have gone out with all types of women, thin, athletic, and BBW. Women need to extend guys the same respect.


That guy could have a behavioral problem, or he wasn't always that in shape in his youth. Stop taking him as an example.



deathweasel
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15 Aug 2009, 6:50 pm

KenM wrote:

I'm overweight myself. I'm happy with who I am. I will not go out and totally change my life just to get a girlfriend. They should like you for who you are. If they don't like you because you are fat then they are shallow. I have gone out with all types of women, thin, athletic, and BBW. Women need to extend guys the same respect.


I am by no means "normal women", but to me being grossly* overweight signifies that you have no respect for your body. If you can't respect yourself, how can you respect another?

*For some value of overweight, like being 25kg overweight or something nuts like that.



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15 Aug 2009, 6:57 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
Yes, for now you're right, no woman on earth thinks you're attractive, fat boy.

Since no woman likes you, then forget about them and keep working in losing your fat before you die from some heart attack at age 23. You have a LFA little brother under your care,no?

Keep exercising till you surprise me with a pic that will shut me up and make me stop calling you a fat boy.

Revenge would be sweet, don't you think so?



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15 Aug 2009, 9:21 pm

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KenM
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16 Aug 2009, 5:06 am

deathweasel wrote:

I am by no means "normal women", but to me being grossly* overweight signifies that you have no respect for your body. If you can't respect yourself, how can you respect another?



First of all I have never said i was grosly overweight. Second I do have respect for myself, do not judge me unless you walk a mile in my shoes. I have a good stable job that I like, my own place, car and pay my bills. I shower and all that stuff daily as well. I don't drink or smoke. To say I have no respect for myself is ignorant. Also, its a know fact that some peoples metabolisims make it very hard for them to lose weight and they will always be large. They can't help it. So to judge someone just on if they are overweight is very narrow minded and shallow.



LePetitPrince
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16 Aug 2009, 8:23 am

KenM wrote:
deathweasel wrote:

I am by no means "normal women", but to me being grossly* overweight signifies that you have no respect for your body. If you can't respect yourself, how can you respect another?



First of all I have never said i was grosly overweight. Second I do have respect for myself, do not judge me unless you walk a mile in my shoes. I have a good stable job that I like, my own place, car and pay my bills. I shower and all that stuff daily as well. I don't drink or smoke. To say I have no respect for myself is ignorant. Also, its a know fact that some peoples metabolisims make it very hard for them to lose weight and they will always be large. They can't help it. So to judge someone just on if they are overweight is very narrow minded and shallow.


You're right, but what deathweasel said is the same first impression that vast majority of women get when they see a fat man.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. "- Charles Darwin.



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16 Aug 2009, 11:58 am

JohnHopkins wrote:
KenM wrote:
If they don't like you because you are fat then they are shallow.


Uh, no they're not. They're just human. We can't control who we're attracted to, being shallow has nothing to do with it.


This is very true. I'm a bit of a twig myself and while I don't think I'm prejudiced against overweight people, I can't really be attracted to them. That's not to say that some women can't, but I've noticed that NT couples tend to be attracted to people who share their build. There are exceptions, of course.


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Homer_Bob
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16 Aug 2009, 4:17 pm

Your better then me because I don't have that kind of attitude. I don't even bother to try and I'd rather be alone then to take the chance of keep getting rejected over and over again. You at least keep trying. I always assume it's going to be a lost case so I feel sorry for myself like some schmuck even though I don't even know how people would react to me.



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16 Aug 2009, 4:33 pm

deathweasel wrote:
KenM wrote:

I'm overweight myself. I'm happy with who I am. I will not go out and totally change my life just to get a girlfriend. They should like you for who you are. If they don't like you because you are fat then they are shallow. I have gone out with all types of women, thin, athletic, and BBW. Women need to extend guys the same respect.


I am by no means "normal women", but to me being grossly* overweight signifies that you have no respect for your body. If you can't respect yourself, how can you respect another?


I sort of agree. you (KenM) should think about what your body is communicating to the women around you. your weight is not something that is beyond your control, and as such I don't think it's shallow to not be attracted to an overweight person. sure looks is not everything, and I've myself felt attracted to some pretty hideous looking guys (at least by LPP's standards ;)). but their relative unattractiveness was nothing they could've done anything about and actually after some time it would start appearing kinda cute. but IMHO, if you're overweight and happy about it then you're projecting traits of character that to many women might seem off-putting.


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KenM
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16 Aug 2009, 6:11 pm

anna-banana wrote:
but IMHO, if you're overweight and happy about it then you're projecting traits of character that to many women might seem off-putting.


I don't run around saying "I'm fat and happy" I just try to be an upbeat, positive person. Its hard with all the rejection I have had. I have had female friends tell me "I'd go out with you if you would lose weight." After that was said I stoped even being friends with them. I'm good enough to be friends with but because of my weight they would not consider me a romantic partner? Thats shallow and mean.



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17 Aug 2009, 12:10 pm

KenM wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
but IMHO, if you're overweight and happy about it then you're projecting traits of character that to many women might seem off-putting.


I don't run around saying "I'm fat and happy" I just try to be an upbeat, positive person. Its hard with all the rejection I have had. I have had female friends tell me "I'd go out with you if you would lose weight." After that was said I stoped even being friends with them. I'm good enough to be friends with but because of my weight they would not consider me a romantic partner? Thats shallow and mean.


You took it the wrong way -- they were trying to help you fix your problem. If they are saying that, it's a clue that you need to lose the weight. It may be the missing piece to the puzzle about why you can't get a GF.



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17 Aug 2009, 1:42 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
You took it the wrong way -- they were trying to help you fix your problem. If they are saying that, it's a clue that you need to lose the weight. It may be the missing piece to the puzzle about why you can't get a GF.


If a girl says that too you, can you respond with something like "could you help me out at the gym" or something like that? I never really understood that whole concept; like ken, I always saw "I would go out with you if..." lines were just excuses offered in an attempt to let me down easily...



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17 Aug 2009, 2:09 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
You took it the wrong way -- they were trying to help you fix your problem. If they are saying that, it's a clue that you need to lose the weight. It may be the missing piece to the puzzle about why you can't get a GF.


If a girl says that too you, can you respond with something like "could you help me out at the gym" or something like that? I never really understood that whole concept; like ken, I always saw "I would go out with you if..." lines were just excuses offered in an attempt to let me down easily...


That would be an awesome idea. Just bear in mind that if she does, you'd better follow through with the workouts. But there are a ton of women who love a makeover project. There is nothing more thrilling to a woman than a man who is working to improve himself....and nothing more disappointing than a man who wimps out because it will involve some work. So if a woman says this to you, and you make that reply, and she says, "good. see you tomorrow after work at the gym" you had better be there and be ready to sweat.


(Want some evidence that women love a makeover project? Count how many posts I've made to you on this subject :lol: )



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17 Aug 2009, 2:23 pm

Be patient and never give up, there's someone out there for everybody.



ToadOfSteel
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17 Aug 2009, 2:42 pm

Janissy wrote:
That would be an awesome idea. Just bear in mind that if she does, you'd better follow through with the workouts. But there are a ton of women who love a makeover project. There is nothing more thrilling to a woman than a man who is working to improve himself....and nothing more disappointing than a man who wimps out because it will involve some work. So if a woman says this to you, and you make that reply, and she says, "good. see you tomorrow after work at the gym" you had better be there and be ready to sweat.

Oh believe me, I don't like to break promises (there was that one thread about marriage somewhere around here if you don't believe me)... I'd rather just not make the promise to begin with...

In any case, it would be so nice to have someone that actually knew what they were doing in a gym so that I don't have to fumble around like an idiot while I was there (the primary reason I don't hit the gym all that much)...

PS: I don't have the money to afford a personal trainer, just in case you were wondering...



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17 Aug 2009, 3:15 pm

^
You don't need a personal trainer, you need motivation. If you have the right motivation, you will succeed in losing weight. If getting a girl is what you desire, then make that the motivation behind your effort. Good luck. :)